Oh yes, I totally forgot:

I didn't try the second week of intermittent fasting. I posted in a rosacea group asking if anyone else had tried it & it had gotten much worse like mine, b/c my skin was freaking out & not having it. The problem with the group is they're all fat. Intermittent fasting tends to be very good for obese people, & it was only after I tried it & it wasn't great for me that I saw it also isn't recommended for people who only need to lose 10 lb or less.

Someone else posted that it didn't work well for her because she has adrenal fatigue. So do I! That was the first I heard that IF isn't good for that. Naturally, when I looked it up, a few sites said it was fine to do IF with adrenal fatigue, but maybe again for some people it's not helpful? SO helpful getting so much contradictory data, plus the fact that there's almost no research on how it affects women, but the few studies that do have women showed that all the benefits men get from it women just don't.

& I definitely lost ground on my workouts, particularly my one-leg wall squats, which I almost can't hold at all anymore. Also has me worried that I have what dad has. Here's hoping it's just one of those stages where everything is harder & sucks. I watched a bodybuilding motivation video today after my shitty wall squat session where he talked about the stage where everything gets harder & you're frustrated & irritated. I KNOW I've had off days before, but I can't really recall off WEEKS. So here's hoping it's the shittiness before things get better & easier. Really wondering how much of this can be laid @ the feet of IF, but really lots of shit hit the fan for my body from that week, so hopefully forging ahead & now giving up potatoes too because FUCK THIS SHIT HOLE will keep the breakout recovery going along & I'll feel like I'm getting better/stronger again.

So no IF for me. I learned my lesson, I'm definitely one of the women for whom it just doesn't work.

On some other notes,

I came across some quotes in my readings that stuck with me for different reasons. One was this: "Hilgers writes, 'According to Tang Yuanjun [the democracy activist], most immigrants, Chinese and otherwise, come to the end of their lives telling two stories: one set in their country of origin, and one set in the United States. Nearly one story always dominates.'” Some individuals portrayed in these books embrace their new identities in America, while others cling more tightly to their home country.

Well if I haven't been a clinger to American culture, I don't know who has! It's why I don't experience reverse culture shock, b/c I'm always struggling with or occasionally loving the differences, which I've discussed before.

There ARE things I like about Korea/some good things that come from the cultural things I don't always get/agree with. I wish I could just concentrate on the things I like instead of the mountains of things I hate. I was looking through a photojournalist's photo essay on Mongolia, & he said, "Once I let go of Western expectations, I was able to relax & find much better photos I wouldn't have been able to take/encounter otherwise." HOW DO YOU DO THAT?? I'm actually going to ask this on a few of the expat sites I'm on, though I'm fairly certain I'm a lost, bitter cause whose hatred of change extends to changing myself. But if you've got any ideas, PLEASE let me know.

The good news I mentioned earlier? My friend Keri is coming to visit on Nov 21st for 2 weeks. Mom is coming at the beginning of February, though unlike Keri, she hasn't booked anything yet. & Kristina's investigating/likely coming in March. So I'll have visitors! Hurray!

Oh! & I joined a CSA here, once/week on Fridays they deliver TO MY APARTMENT organic/pesticide-free produce, plus eggs. I'm currently getting the small box for 2-3 people, but will go to the large next month so I can use what I get to make lunch. & just waiting for the MASSIVE breakout I've been dealing with since getting back from Malaysia + my newly-developed problem with potatoes, which is especially upsetting.

The trouble with reading addictions is,

 It makes it that much harder to keep up-to-date. If only I had good news! Well I guess I DO, but it's overshadowed by the fact that Korea just took potatoes from me. We had really & surprisingly clean air for like 2 months, but when the Gobi's gonna blow, ain't nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry though: the Asian saving-face bs means that I was informed by my ENT doctor that they said on the news 2 days ago that China started their heat up, which is coal & oil, hence we got fine dust here in Korea. COOL STORY BRO, but then Korea's heat is likewise coal, & I'd be guessing SOME places are turning on the heat here too, though I've no experience with places that wealthy, b/c my school sure hasn't. But honestly, it's been ok to not have it on so far. I'll be singing a different tune in November though.

I skipped my workout b/c even with my air purifier at the 2nd highest level since yesterday, I still woke up with a stuffy/runny nose. Put it up to turbo, but research says exercising when the air quality is bad is more harmful than NOT exercising, though I wonder how that jibes with the recent news that not exercising is MORE harmful than smoking & heart disease. https://edition.cnn.com/2018/10/19/health/study-not-exercising-worse-than-smoking/index.html

What else? Well, we all know that I hate change, & I'm guessing that's why I think the new native teacher, Garret, who I think is a fucking tool. Total Koreaboo b/c with a face & blobby build like that, his only chance for a girlfriend are the can't-tell-the-difference-especially-if-you've-got-money Asian girls. He was in Korea before, but went back to Ireland to get his CELTA, which is a more challenging version of my TEFL cert. I don't know if he's also certified as a teacher, but his first time with one of my favorite classes, he ran out of time. I was like, "HOW is that possible, we finished with listening in 20-30 minutes?" B/c best educational practices in the West are to break up writing, reading, etc, so the kids don't get bored. Great, except Korea doesn't CARE about best practices, they want things done their way, the kids are used to it, & confusion reigns when you change that. He is taking Korean classes, which b/c I'm already a lost cause for being open-minded & respecting this place, makes me roll my eyes all the harder at him. He practices his Korean with the kids, tries to get conversation going in English when that's not a thing at lunch, then practices his listening skills/mentioning some idiotic drivel that he loves about Korea. What I REALLY don't get is he is ALWAYS taking work home with him, like grading papers. Today, 1.5 hours before we had to be at work, I was on the bus to see my doctor. HE was on the bus to go to a cafe to grade papers. GRADE WHAT PAPERS?? When I had a writing class it was easily gotten through in prep time. Seriously-- I'll get maybe 15 journals where the kids don't write more than 12-15 sentences about Halloween. Correcting grammar/spelling, commenting on them takes like 20 minutes maybe. Even with my writing class, it was never more than 50 sentences, & you don't see these kids every day. I love doing this & give a shit & really DO want to make a difference & actually teach these kids English, but this still IS NOT A REAL JOB, we're not real teachers writing lessons plans for each class, trying to come up with activities & assignments, that has already been done for us. We have 2-12 kids/class. IT'S NOT A REAL TEACHING JOB DUDE, HOW do you need to take work home with you??

It could just be my usual prejudice against ugly people, mixed with my opinion that someone who really loves it here, especially over Western Europe, is broken so I must break him down with my hatred of this place to build him back up, b/c loving this shit show is not a personality quirk that can be fixed. The whole person must be destroyed & built up again from scratch.

LORD am I a horrible human being!