I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it..

I have a "real" post coming up, but I had another head-exploding episode here as I watched a video on what N Koreans (who defected) think of S Korea. & what amazed me is how much ignorance & stereotypes they face here. I GUESS on the one hand I kinda get it, but...

They spoke to a man & a woman, & both said that, of course, S Koreans think N Koreans are all poor (though hell, *I* was always taught that too), & so look down on them.

The man said middle & high school students are shocked that they speak the same language (!!!!?), & the woman said a kid asked her what reunification is-- he'd never heard of it & his parents never taught him anything (though my memory is that maybe the kid was young, like 5, so that I could understand).

&, then, my favorite: a N Korean woman was going to meet her fiance's parents for the first time, & the FIRST question she was asked is, "Are you a spy?" Of course, this is pretty insulting, but insulting & super personal questions or statements for us in the West are par for the course here. In fact, what I've now been hearing is that, for Koreans particularly, they think it's very normal & necessary to continually state the obvious. This is usually aimed at telling people that they're fat, for example, or that I have blue eyes... but that's a different discussion for a different time. My main objection to this question is, do they HONESTLY think if a person IS a spy that they'll fucking TELL them?! But it's a commonly-asked question for them, & I can't think of a stupider one. "Are you a N Korean spy?" "Yes, yes I am." Because they don't do sarcasm here, though, the only time they'd get a yes is if they asked me, because your asinine question deserves such an answer. (Side note: I'm teaching my students how to ask questions or give negative responses because they never know to use "to do." We practiced asking "Do you/Are you" questions so they could practice distinguishing, & I answered yes to being Batman, God, and Jesus.)

Sadly though, the N Koreans guy thinks that while he definitely wants reunification, he said now is not the time, it can't be until S Koreans learn a lot more about N Korea, because otherwise the cultural clash would be so great, particularly S Koreans to N, that it would probably tear Korea apart.

I ask AGAIN, WTF do they teach them in school???

Aging in a loop

First, my rosacea has/had been pretty severe for a good 3 weeks. The antibiotic stopped working at about that point, which didn’t really surprise me, since my body’s pretty quick to adjust to them when it comes to my skin. The fact that the other dermatologist wouldn’t change anything about his prescription regimen led me to see if there were any other Western derms in Seoul. I had to wait til this week to go because I had no money, but since I’m seeing Aaron tomorrow I wanted to see what I could do at home to combat it for the week while I waited to see the new doc.

So this week, I reverted back to no wheat and no dairy, then added in avoiding/reducing most of the rosacea triggers, which are:

• ·        Extreme hot & cold (so wearing a mask outside, and keeping apartment at my comfy-to-me more tropical temps)
• ·         Hot liquids (still drink hot water, but wait for it to cool a bit)
• ·         Spicy foods (so that, plus the wheat means cooking everything for myself again, because, Korea)
• ·         Alcohol
• ·         Intense exercise

I’m still drinking coffee, but only 3 cups/week, which is my norm anyway.

In addition to that, I’ve been doing yin yoga and meditation for stress and anxiety in place of my workouts. I’ve also been, as other sufferers have suggested, been drinking apple cider vinegar with the mother (a protein that is only in unstrained/unprocessed vinegars, which also meant stopping the antibiotic which would kill any benefit from it), using OIL to wash my face to help prevent dryness, consuming about 2 tbsp of turmeric/day because it’s an anti-inflammatory, AND eating raw ginger, skin and all, about the size of ½ an egg. And I guess unsurprisingly it’s working. Really rather well.

I’m still in something of a pickle because I just drop all triggers at once, so I’m not sure what’s really effective and what are really my triggers and which are not (though my prior experiment with coffee and alcohol seemed to indicate that they weren’t big triggers for me, if triggers at all). One suspicion I have that has been especially helpful is not working out. I usually do around 20 minutes of HIIT/day, followed by a HIIT yoga routine (if you can believe it) Tues & Thurs, otherwise followed by normal stretching yoga the other days. While I’ve always known that exercise is supposed to be a trigger, its benefits always made me kind of take that with a grain of salt. In addition, I want to keep as much muscle as I can/add on when I can. On top of that, my parents have been aging pretty badly, and exercise is one way to really help cut my risk of meeting their fates. I can’t help but wonder if the reduction of pimple-like stuff (which hurt a lot, actually, especially when on the base of my nostril, mouth, or chin, where they’re pretty common), the reduction of red color both on what’s left of the stuff on my chin and where it was appearing on either side of my nostrils (and the more common rosacea) is due to the not working out. As you can imagine, this is a biiiiiig problem for me, given my devotion to exercise. I actually think weightlifting is less intense than the HIIT, but that requires paying for a gym, which I’m especially hesitant to do now since my most recent adventure in indigence.

This will now plague and stress me out, because I want to go back to my old routine, plus I need to, otherwise I’ll start having trouble sleeping. I’ve been making small gains in how many jumping lunges I can do before I start slowing down, for example. I’m fairly certain that yes, my looking not-quite-39-almost-40 is due to genetics but also exercise (even my students are super surprised that I’m as “old” as I am). I think it was probably a big help in keeping my weight from going nuts when I was hypothyroid and we hadn’t figured out the right level I needed (a place I seem to have returned to here in Korea—Korea FUCKS with the health of most expats. Several posts/week are from expats saying, “I’ve never had skin/health problems before, but since I got to Korea, I have ___ problem,” which is met by the seasoned expats who say oh yeah, Korea always does this, that, and another to, pretty much everything). AND I realized this year, especially thanks to Jason’s suggestion, that it helps manage my anxiety. So, something’s gotta give. I am considering maybe more tabata vs the high intensity portion of HIIT (which usually includes lots of plyometric moves). But basically, if it makes your skin flush, it’s going to worsen it. (This is also why my eyes are super bloodshot after working out—rosacea affects the eyes as well.)

In the meantime, today’s visit has me wondering, because what I have has been often called acne rosacea, even though it’s not acne. Or so they say. Thankfully, this doc listened to me when I said no more antibiotics, since over my lifetime I’ve tried almost all. And given that Hashimoto’s is linked to gut permeability and “leaky gut” and overall not-awesome-gut health, I’d just as soon not kill off anymore good bacteria there. He did call the chin stuff acne, and then asked if I was on birth control/planning on getting pregnant. Huh, that’s funny, I thought, the last time a derm asked me that I was 20 and they gave me the FINAL nail in the 8-year-long hell of my severe acne coffin: Accutane, or extremely high doses of vitamin A. And sure enough, he told me that Accutane is what he’s going to prescribe me. Once again, things in Korea are really different, because in the US that was 1 pill, whereas here, the first 4 days I’m taking 6 pills twice/day, and then 3 twice/day until I see him again next week.

This also can kind of brings me to the aging in a loop title: while I’m back on meds I was on when I was 20, I have lots of pills divided into the little plastic/wax bags, which is how half the pharmacies dispense medication. Here, for example, is about one month's supply of my thyroid meds:

Here is my current skin regimen, which makes me think of the daily plastic dispensers seniors use in the US to organize their multiple pills. I’m old enough to warrant a handful of pills every day, except that they’re the same drugs from my youth.

This dr. visit was also blessedly cheaper than the other doc. I was relieved that his sheepish comment that the first visit is always “expensive” meant about 75,000-100,000 won, which includes a blood test to test liver and kidney function, etc. Of course, now that I’m hypERthyroid, I’m curious what THAT does to blood tests. (Likely no one remembers, but when I was first diagnosed with hypo by my general doc, she said I have hypothyroidism, no explanation as to what it was, that I was going to be taking medication for it for the rest of my life… and oh yeah, despite my being 2-3 weeks away from my first trip to South Africa and wine country there, she said the blood work also showed I had liver problems, so no drinking or painkillers for the next month. Oh and my cholesterol was super high. Given I was in the midst of my P90X phase and basically in the best shape of my life, still on that diet, I was A LITTTTTTLE freaked out and upset, and determined to die rather than not drink wine in South Africa. Only to research everything and find that hypothyroidism also ratchets up your cholesterol and gives the APPEARANCE of liver and kidney problems/disease, rather than actually causing it or you having it.) Interestingly, if my racing heart rate wasn’t confirmation that the 250 mcg dosage of thyroid meds was too much, I am now experiencing the somewhat advantageous hyperthyroid effect on my period. Monday and Tuesday I had the kind of cramps I usually get on the first day of my period. Monday was the worst. This is around the time my period came the last couple of months (apparently my cycle is synching with someone’s at work, because normally mine is the end of the month). But no period. I’ve been worried about whether or not it would come in time for Saturday when I see Aaron. But while hypothyroidism gives you super heavy periods (mine was so heavy once I thought despite being celibate I must have been pregnant somehow and had a miscarriage until I looked it up), hyperthyroid means super light periods or not having one at all. Which appears to be my fate this month. This thyroid shit is REALLY good times, kids. I can’t recommend fucking with it if your genetics won’t so you can enjoy all this enough. No matter what happens, you have to wonder if your thyroid levels are off again because anything and everything gets pulled in symptom-wise. Am I tired because I’m not getting enough sleep, or is it hypoth. Fatigue? Am I depressed because I am prone to it, or is it my thyroid? Am I gaining weight because I’m not being as careful with my diet, or is it my thyroid? Headaches? Periods? Fitness setbacks? Hair loss? Cholesterol? You name it, thyroid issues can be behind all this and more!

We’ll see where this new rabbit hole of drugs and interesting new toner takes us. Will keep you mercilessly as updated as I am. Heh.

Typical

I didn’t bring my computer to work because I have 6 classes in a row, my long day, no break time ‘til 8 PM. But unlike last night, I’m in the mood to write. So I’m on one of the work computers, which we all have to share, so I can’t be on this that long.

In my mission to bring my rosacea under control, I have gone full paleo (except peanuts. I am still eating peanut M&Ms). This is an enormous undertaking in Asia, and Korea in particular, due to the ubiquity of wheat, which no one expects here, and of course rice. I read on Quora about a Chinese guy who was talking about readjusting to China after years in the W, & he commented on how terribly unhealthy Chinese food is: really high in fat and carbs, and very low protein. Substitute really high fat for somewhat fattening occasionally & spicy, minus the prevalence of vegetables, & you’ve got Korean cuisine. Oh yeah, plus smelly (can we talk about people bringing dried seafood/kimchi on the train? It reeks. Why can there not be laws about this?). ANYHOO, I’ve decided to go full paleo. I’ve only had rice twice in about 10 days, have twice baked paleo goods on the weekends, but the true evidence that you’ve gone full-bore is making your own bone broth. Supposedly Koreans have been consuming this regularly—hell, I even bought a bag labeled beef bone broth at Lotte Mart, though it was milky white and really had no flavor.

In real, true, paleo form, the above bone broth was made with nonpesticide chicken (the best I can do here), & organic produce. I had a cup after I got home yesterday, and it was great. Then the not-so-great part happened: I put the Tupperware full of bone broth on the edge of the kitchen sink… and somehow knocked it, spilling my slow-cooked-for-26-hours broth almost completely down the drain.

While upset & swearing up a storm and cursing Korea & life for a good 10 minutes, it wasn’t accompanied by my full-on screaming. So this qualifies as a somewhat tempered, calmer reaction from me. I wondered why that was, ‘til I realized while washing the dishes what would have resulted in the usual screaming and a tirade that would have lasted at least 15 minutes: the chicken broth went down the drain, instead of spilling all over the floor, so I’d have had to clean it up on top of losing it all. The ONE upside is that I had another non-pesticide chicken carcass in the fridge, and given the teensy size of my fridge and especially my freezer, it would have been impossible for me to freeze half of it (Aaron is particularly amused by my basically not having a freezer, because believe it or not, the frost wall got BIGGER, mainly in the back, so I couldn’t even fit my fist in the back), & storing both at the same time takes up 1/2 my refrigerator. So, there’s that.

There’s also my usual penurious state at the end of the month. I never go out because I’m always cooking, eating, and frequently bitching, so where was my money going? It was going to Lotte Mart, the most expensive place to grocery shop (but it’s the thing closest to me & one-stop shopping), and I’ve been buying organic stuff whenever they have it. My bank account & I jointly determined that I would have to start going to 1 of the fruit & veggie places sprinkled closer to and on my way to work for produce, and try going to some of the butchers I’ve seen as well.

So in that spirit, I’ve gone that route, & stopped in a butcher shop across the street from work. The guy was SO nice, & the bonus was that, while I spent the same amount for the pork neck there as I would for the same thing @ Lotte Mart, I got 2-3 times the servings from his that I’d get from Lotte Mart.

I also found a woman with a stand down the street from me in the back, & there are 2 mom-&-pop type grocery stores I go to too, which are both cheaper. So, there are options. I did also stumble upon a completely organic place, but can’t tell if it’s a co-op or not.

Since it’s the end of the month, I’m counting every damned won($) because I have 60,000 to get me through this week. Saturday I went to the nice butcher guy near work for some more pork neck, but he recommended some other cut of pork. Then, he started indicating a thing of the pork neck. I wasn’t sure if he meant I should get it too, or he was giving it to me. I finally acquiesced, since I was pretty sure he meant it was a gift, but could afford if it not, & thankfully, yes, it was free. I was JUST delighted & SO happy, particularly since I needed the free meat! So of course that guy has got a customer for [my] life [here].

So it has now been 2 weeks since I’ve done strict paleo, but it coincided with my getting sick, so I skipped my workouts. And wonder-of-wonders, look at the difference. I started feeling a little better, so did some short HIIT workouts, & naturally, my chin started getting a bit red & there were the faintest shadows of what I know would be the bumps. My last real option for exercise that is rosacea-approved is swimming. Anna, the head teacher at my school, swims every morning, so I’ll ask her where to go.

I know I'm WAYYYYY behind, sorry kids. With the start of the new school year, but honestly? Going paleo in Korea and having to cook EVERYTHING I eat, having to stop at the store to refill on veggies that I run out of even faster now means there's just no time left for much of anything. Like blogging.