It's the day before I head home for Xmas vacation. I've been SOOOO damned excited, & waiting very impatiently for it to be today. Though the excitement is also combined with my usual anxiety about international flights-- namely, I worry about missing them. This worry is slightly more complicated because Korea's public transportation doesn't run 24/7, even to the airport, so worrying that I'll be able to catch a bus to get to the train station OR take some buses (or mostly likely a cab) 2 metro stops away because that's where the airport shuttle is to get me there in time.
This was SOMEWHAT allayed by people saying that Gimpo is SO small & not busy compared to Incheon that you really only need arrive 25-30 minutes before your international flight! Naturally though, I still worry, what if this time is the exception? But more than that, it's been everyone trying to get me to take the airport shuttle, instead of taking 2 metro trains. The shuttle ride only takes 45 minutes to the train's 90.
No, it's that the shuttle buses go first to Gimpo, then on to Incheon, & come from a big suburb S of us, so everyone said to buy a ticket, you need to get there at least an hour before you need to leave, because that's when the tickets sell out, & you don't want to have to wait another 15-30 minutes or whenever the next one leaves/has tickets still available. I've gone back & forth, but am determining it'll take the same amount of time including waiting in lines to buy tickets & running with the crowd to get on the bus, only to probably have to stand the whole way anyway. At least 1/2 my metro trip I should have no issue getting a seat, & won't have to deal with trying to buy an extra ticket. Not to mention I'm SUPER short on money now with the holidays, so paying an extra 6,000-9,000 won isn't ideal. Still, I worry.
Which means, every night I lay in bed either anxious or super excited, & can't sleep. Even with melatonin, it's a struggle. & then, every morning just this week, I wake up @ 9 to go to the bathroom, then can't sleep again for another hour, so I've only just gotten back to sleep for maybe an hour or so when the alarm goes off. As a result, I'm really tired tonight, but still have to workout, pack, shower, & then try to get A LITTLE sleep before I get up to leave. Thankfully, I've been able to scoot wake up time from 4:30 to before 6 so I can ideally be at the train station just before 6 to catch the train. & I can't sleep on planes. Soooooo, I'll be a SUPER DUPER sleep deprived mess!
All of this has resulted in a big old breakout (though I suppose it COULD be the cream that was in my lunch this week, it'd be the first time I've had an issue with milk. Not discounting it, but seems less likely given that I reintroduced dairy months ago & it has been fine since then.) Now my hands are in slightly bad shape too because last night I cleaned. I always clean very thoroughly before a trip abroad so when I come home, everything's clean & nice. My place was trashed, because I put it off knowing I'd be doing it last night. Maybe that's why I got my first-ever bleach burns. I did spend 3 hours cleaning the tiny kitchen surfaces & entire small bathroom. I always clean with bleach & baking soda, but last night I guess it was a bit too much. Maybe because it's winter too.
Here's hoping ALL of this starts clearing up, healing, & preventing my sleep asap. Because I intend to enjoy every second I'm home & not here!
Friday, December 22, 2017
Saturday, December 9, 2017
So, here I am,
face broken out AGAIN because of whatever is in the supplements they doctor gave me because my test showed I was short on them. I stopped taking the fiber supplement, thinking it MUST be a grain, but the psyllium husk, which is what mine is, is from a shrub, and the granules are made from the husk of that.
I started breaking out slightly last week. But then came the Xmas party. You know, the one where they'd have paleo options for me. Wellllll, sort of. She DID have turkey, but with cranberry sauce (some with citrus, some without, which is a big trigger for me), IN BUNS. With wheat it's in for a penny, in for a pound. So even picking the filling off the bread was useless really, though I kept doing that.
The other problem was the veggies: roasted squash (fine) with bell peppers (NOT fine). I knew I'd break out from that, but hopefully not too badly.
Tuesday I went back to the doctor to do the second week in the SIBO course (there are 2), & she decided to up my fiber to twice/day, plus gave me these big chewables of L-Carnitine, which taste (& smell) fishy but are flavored with mint, also twice/day.
So I was anticipating a breakout from the Xmas party fare, but Wednesday after the workout it went from a few of the painful pustules to red, scaly skin on the forehead, redness on the chin with more pustules, plus a little redness next to either nostril, all of which slightly burns. Annnnd, it still hasn't cleared up much. I had 2 turmeric milks & used the raw honey & turmeric masks Thurs, both of which really help with inflammation, but didn't yesterday so while it was a little better on Friday, today (Saturday) not so much. So, maybe it was/is the L-carnitine + the peppers & wheat & citrus? Because that shit makes a good mess of my skin, takes a couple days to show up (though not nearly a week), & then takes weeks to clear up.
The other issue is that from what I've read online about SIBO, I'd have to stop eating broccoli, & a bunch of other stuff, no dairy... given how restricted my diet already is, that's seriously too much. I had zucchini this week, which is fine, & carrots, which are too, but God. & THEN online they say SIBO almost always comes back, & it sounds rather like a no-win battle. So why the hell am I even doing this?? Well, I didn't know that until I looked online. & this is from Dr. Josh Axe's site, not a all-these-doctors-agree thing.
Sooo, this is sucking. Why is health so hard here, as well as everything else?
To make matters worse, I'm really out of money because I needed a winter coat & new hat, then got a sweater, so that's an extra $150 I was out of. Plus Costco cost more since I had to pay the membership. Hence, I have around $20-$30 to get me to Thursday. & that, I believe, is when they deduct my public transport usage (though maybe it's my phone, too). Sooooo, such good times.
In other news? Hmmm, not sure that there really IS much other news. OH! Well one bit of good news. As background, I skipped my workouts Tuesday & Thursday, Tuesday b/c I got NO sleep & had to be up early for the doc, Thursday b/c my skin broke out & I hoped that skipping would help, but those are leg days, & I'm rehabbing my weak right quad, so I do twice the workout on that leg, minus HIIT, so the workouts take 1.5 hours. I'm focusing on improving my balance & flexibility too, so Friday I did my 9 minute balance workout, then another 10 minute yoga balance video, followed by a 25 minute one for strength & flexibility (my legs were really tight yesterday too). Then, just to help ameliorate my slight unhappiness about skipping 2 days, I did the 30 minute HIIT yoga video that I used to do after HIIT, that was always rather hard. & this time (I guess because no HIIT preceding it? that or I HAVE improved!), it was a good challenge, but nowhere near as hard as it always was.
Just in case you're interested/want to try it, I'll post it below. Good for strength, balance, & flexibility, though you've got to be pretty experienced with yoga to follow her speed. & I finished it all up with a 15 yoga leg stretch I do after my leg workouts. So, I'm hoping I've actually just made some improvements in my strength & endurance, though I suppose the absence of HIIT is what really helped, lol.
I started breaking out slightly last week. But then came the Xmas party. You know, the one where they'd have paleo options for me. Wellllll, sort of. She DID have turkey, but with cranberry sauce (some with citrus, some without, which is a big trigger for me), IN BUNS. With wheat it's in for a penny, in for a pound. So even picking the filling off the bread was useless really, though I kept doing that.
The other problem was the veggies: roasted squash (fine) with bell peppers (NOT fine). I knew I'd break out from that, but hopefully not too badly.
Tuesday I went back to the doctor to do the second week in the SIBO course (there are 2), & she decided to up my fiber to twice/day, plus gave me these big chewables of L-Carnitine, which taste (& smell) fishy but are flavored with mint, also twice/day.
So I was anticipating a breakout from the Xmas party fare, but Wednesday after the workout it went from a few of the painful pustules to red, scaly skin on the forehead, redness on the chin with more pustules, plus a little redness next to either nostril, all of which slightly burns. Annnnd, it still hasn't cleared up much. I had 2 turmeric milks & used the raw honey & turmeric masks Thurs, both of which really help with inflammation, but didn't yesterday so while it was a little better on Friday, today (Saturday) not so much. So, maybe it was/is the L-carnitine + the peppers & wheat & citrus? Because that shit makes a good mess of my skin, takes a couple days to show up (though not nearly a week), & then takes weeks to clear up.
The other issue is that from what I've read online about SIBO, I'd have to stop eating broccoli, & a bunch of other stuff, no dairy... given how restricted my diet already is, that's seriously too much. I had zucchini this week, which is fine, & carrots, which are too, but God. & THEN online they say SIBO almost always comes back, & it sounds rather like a no-win battle. So why the hell am I even doing this?? Well, I didn't know that until I looked online. & this is from Dr. Josh Axe's site, not a all-these-doctors-agree thing.
Sooo, this is sucking. Why is health so hard here, as well as everything else?
To make matters worse, I'm really out of money because I needed a winter coat & new hat, then got a sweater, so that's an extra $150 I was out of. Plus Costco cost more since I had to pay the membership. Hence, I have around $20-$30 to get me to Thursday. & that, I believe, is when they deduct my public transport usage (though maybe it's my phone, too). Sooooo, such good times.
In other news? Hmmm, not sure that there really IS much other news. OH! Well one bit of good news. As background, I skipped my workouts Tuesday & Thursday, Tuesday b/c I got NO sleep & had to be up early for the doc, Thursday b/c my skin broke out & I hoped that skipping would help, but those are leg days, & I'm rehabbing my weak right quad, so I do twice the workout on that leg, minus HIIT, so the workouts take 1.5 hours. I'm focusing on improving my balance & flexibility too, so Friday I did my 9 minute balance workout, then another 10 minute yoga balance video, followed by a 25 minute one for strength & flexibility (my legs were really tight yesterday too). Then, just to help ameliorate my slight unhappiness about skipping 2 days, I did the 30 minute HIIT yoga video that I used to do after HIIT, that was always rather hard. & this time (I guess because no HIIT preceding it? that or I HAVE improved!), it was a good challenge, but nowhere near as hard as it always was.
Just in case you're interested/want to try it, I'll post it below. Good for strength, balance, & flexibility, though you've got to be pretty experienced with yoga to follow her speed. & I finished it all up with a 15 yoga leg stretch I do after my leg workouts. So, I'm hoping I've actually just made some improvements in my strength & endurance, though I suppose the absence of HIIT is what really helped, lol.
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
The results are in!
& the lingering question I have is, how much Vitamin B is ENOUGH? Because I've been taking my supplements every day for many months, & thanks to Costco, I have beef at least once/day, and yet, this test says I'm STILL short on B6 & 12! I'm low on CoQ, tyrosine, plus some hormones or things that help with mitochondria, burning fat for energy, something that helps with detox, T4 for my thyroid, & yet yep, plenty of bad bacteria. So she took me off the pills for my skin since I'll now be a pill-popping maniac-- in addition to my vitamin B complex, 5HTP, selenium, and zinc, we're adding the CoQa with B6 & 12, & 4 pills 3 times/day for the gut bacteria. No alcohol (SIGH, & I have a Xmas party on Saturday), but also VERRRY limited-to-no caffeine, limited sugar (which is why I went with my craving and got a cafe mocha). Oh! & SOMEHOW I may not be getting enough FIBER? ALL I eat is lots of veggies with my meat, for chrissakes! So I'm taking fiber stuff too. The big relief? I was SURE I only had $100 left in my bank account (after getting a new winter coat that will actually help keep me warm, a new hat because the fun with 2 pom-poms got lost at a bakery), & a sweater because fuck it, I wanted to buy something fun! I don't get paid 'til the 13th, so we've a ways to go before that money comes in. But the ATM tells me I have $300! Don't know how, but VERRRRY relieved I have more than $20/week.
Anyway, the doctor thinks once this bacteria is cleared up, my skin will be, too. HA, my skin will not be deterred in its mission of sucking for as long I'm alive unless you throw pills at it! Plus, you know, stop eating like a human being. THEN it's much less grouchy. "Ruined Jen's life with fucking insane dietary restrictions? WELLL, my work here is done!"
& yet, yet AGAIN, I found out that the Xmas party, being thrown by a woman I've really only met twice, will have lots of paleo options! & for the dessert pot luck, someone asked about the diet restrictions to see if she could make something that works. & on top of that, I decided to go to the Xmas cookie exchange this year, I'm just not going to take any cookies... except for Rin's, who's also coming & making paleo cookies for my very own pain-giving ass! So SOME upshots. Plus this regimen for the gut is for 2 weeks (though she only gave me meds enough for 1 week, so I'll have to go back next week, because I'm in Korea so OF COURSE I WILL!).
A final note is that last week I brought my favorite middle school boys & the one girl some pumpkin pie (none of them have had it, nor of course turkey). I wanted to bring some in for Jessy, my fav middle school girls' class, & then Jennifer, their Korean teacher (who is great, btw), mentioned SHE'D never had pumpkin pie either. Why keep the remaining Costco pumpkin pie in my place when there are so many people deserving of tasting pumpkin pie? So here's hoping it thaws in around 4 hours. We'll see what they think!
Here's how the boys reacted, though this is mainly how I've now found that Korean kids react to aerosol whipped cream in general-- they can't quite get over the sound or concept.
Anyway, the doctor thinks once this bacteria is cleared up, my skin will be, too. HA, my skin will not be deterred in its mission of sucking for as long I'm alive unless you throw pills at it! Plus, you know, stop eating like a human being. THEN it's much less grouchy. "Ruined Jen's life with fucking insane dietary restrictions? WELLL, my work here is done!"
& yet, yet AGAIN, I found out that the Xmas party, being thrown by a woman I've really only met twice, will have lots of paleo options! & for the dessert pot luck, someone asked about the diet restrictions to see if she could make something that works. & on top of that, I decided to go to the Xmas cookie exchange this year, I'm just not going to take any cookies... except for Rin's, who's also coming & making paleo cookies for my very own pain-giving ass! So SOME upshots. Plus this regimen for the gut is for 2 weeks (though she only gave me meds enough for 1 week, so I'll have to go back next week, because I'm in Korea so OF COURSE I WILL!).
A final note is that last week I brought my favorite middle school boys & the one girl some pumpkin pie (none of them have had it, nor of course turkey). I wanted to bring some in for Jessy, my fav middle school girls' class, & then Jennifer, their Korean teacher (who is great, btw), mentioned SHE'D never had pumpkin pie either. Why keep the remaining Costco pumpkin pie in my place when there are so many people deserving of tasting pumpkin pie? So here's hoping it thaws in around 4 hours. We'll see what they think!
Here's how the boys reacted, though this is mainly how I've now found that Korean kids react to aerosol whipped cream in general-- they can't quite get over the sound or concept.
Friday, November 24, 2017
Now I'm aggravated.
I decided this year I'd put up the window insulation (it's bubble wrap on one side) to see if it would help. It doesn't SAY which side is the one that should be on the window, but can't see how the bubble-side would be it. Windows are dry, so sprayed with water per instructions, and it is NOT STICKING. Because, of course it isn't, why the FUCK would it? Why would I buy something in this shitty hell hole & have it work??!!
I made the idiotic mistake of posting to expat women for advice. I deleted the post after the 3rd motherfucker told me to "spray the windows." FUCKING GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO THE KOREAN HELL OF STATING THE OBVIOUS, I FUCKING DID THAT.
Someone said tape the top. SURE! The top of the windows is covered in condensation & mold, it'll stick! ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!
I'm just leaving the one window done, since I don't want this shit falling on me or my bed while I'm sleeping.
So, fuck sobriety. You know, I'm finding that yes, sobriety lost the battle today, but sobriety as a default and/or way of life is losing the war as well. If this is Europe too, I'm going to do what Jason did, hole up in the US, except unlike him, I won't be giving the bottle of sanity either.
I made the idiotic mistake of posting to expat women for advice. I deleted the post after the 3rd motherfucker told me to "spray the windows." FUCKING GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO THE KOREAN HELL OF STATING THE OBVIOUS, I FUCKING DID THAT.
Someone said tape the top. SURE! The top of the windows is covered in condensation & mold, it'll stick! ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!
I'm just leaving the one window done, since I don't want this shit falling on me or my bed while I'm sleeping.
So, fuck sobriety. You know, I'm finding that yes, sobriety lost the battle today, but sobriety as a default and/or way of life is losing the war as well. If this is Europe too, I'm going to do what Jason did, hole up in the US, except unlike him, I won't be giving the bottle of sanity either.
Saturday, November 18, 2017
Well let's just get this out there.
Honestly, my life changes little: it's eating in ways most people probably wouldn't even consider eating, working out, cooking, sleeping, & being @ work with great kids & coworkers & enjoying my job, just not the rest of my life so much. WHAT a switch!
But one great break in the routine this week... ok, there were a couple tiny things that are still news to you. FIRST, I took my sample to my doctor to check for SIBOs (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth), which is common for both people with Hashimoto's, & people with rosacea. Did you know it can lead to food sensitivities?? IMAGINE THAT! We'll know the week after this Tuesday.
Also, my friend Rin is getting kicked out of her apartment. Mainly because she's a slob. I can't honestly say I blame her landlords-- her housekeeping skills are college-dude-clean. Given that she has to be gone by Dec 1, I realized she wouldn't want to go to Costco. Seeing that the membership is less than 1/2 what I expected, I decided I'd just get my own. Naturally, my first inclination was to do this online. Which I TOTALLY managed in Korean, until it was time to pay. Can an expat buy a Costco membership online in Korea? HELLLLLL NO, not even if you did the King's Quest for your bank & spent 2 weeks downloading certificates & programs on your computer to get a FUCKING CREDIT CARD YOU CAN USE ONLINE. EVEN THEN, you cannot order your membership online. FORTUNATELY, I've been told the people @ the Costco I go to have English speakers, so Tuesday I'll get there early enough to do the paperwork & then get my meat & pistachio fix (my addiction to their salted pistachios, SALTED PEOPLE, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW RARE that is here!) fixed.
So there's that. Lastly, friends from Chicago, Shana & Josh, rock stars that they are, not only came to Korea, but made plans for us to meet so I could meet their 3 month old daughter.
Now. Josh & Shana are great people, so it's worth any sacrifice, really, to get to talk with them. But their daughter Sylven? A SWEET, ADORABLE ANGEL. I don't just say that because I found out Shana ACTUALLY reads my blog! Oh no. I've wanted a niece & Sylven fell under my Tyler-induced baby love spell. She is laid back, SOOOOO CUTE, & sweet & fun. I loved talking to that little angel & making her coo. I especially love doing that because since becoming an aunt, I got an eyeful of what being a parent is like, so whenever I can give the parents maybe a few minutes of not having to worry about their baby, I'm all about helping, The fact that I get to have fun with sweet baby angels who are RIDICULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL, is an extra extra bonus. So, between the awesomeness of Shana & Josh as company anyway, PLUS an ADORABLE baby that I'm smitten with, well, it's just win-win.
It's now Saturday night here. Tomorrow, I'm going back to Laura's for Thanksgiving dinner + her birthday dinner. Tonight was wine night, & before it I got a message from a girl I just met there a month ago whom I liked right away:
Hey I know you said you were a maybe for wine night tonight but really hoping you can make it!! It was really great talking to you last time so hoping to see you again tonight
Unfortunately I can't make it for dinner tomorrow and I know lots of people are opting for that instead.
WHO sends awesome messages like this?? There are people who LIKE ME! It's fucking crazy & awesome. Mark, YOU'D even like this girl, so you know she isn't some crazed lunatic.
Tomorrow is a potluck. Thinking ahead, I volunteered to make gravy & pumpkin pie, because gravy's made with milk & flour, & pumpkin pie, I mean OBVIOUSLY. Milk is the ONE THING that my skin does NOT freak out over, but I still wanted to make a gravy I could slather shit in. Laura's not making stuffing (:-() but she is making green bean casserole WITH ALMOND FLOUR. She's likewise making pumpkin bread & almond chocolate chip cookies so *I* can eat this shit. People down here take my FUCKING RIDICULOUS FOOD ISSUES into consideration & cook around them, no problem, no complaint! I am continually stunned by the great, great people I meet abroad.
Speaking (previously) of my skin, I'm still not ready to go on record about my doctor, regular doctor mind you, giving me natural supplements that my skin FUCKING LOVES, but I will say that those prescriptions, plus oil cleansing plus my inhumanely restrictive diet plus rose water makes my skin fucking happy as hell. So, I've recovered from the grapefruit soju, & am sometimes amazed my skin looks THIS good.
Speaking of good, I'll close with what I overheard a student explaining that I nearly lost it over. I so wish I could have filmed it. My higher-level class were conferring to discuss the Speaking Contest. Charls (some American asshole actually spelled his name this way, which is another example of why I fear Americans coming to teach here), said with all the DRAMA of Korean students, "I am SANTA CLAUS. I am HANDSOME, sparkly, shiny, & CUTE!"
But one great break in the routine this week... ok, there were a couple tiny things that are still news to you. FIRST, I took my sample to my doctor to check for SIBOs (Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth), which is common for both people with Hashimoto's, & people with rosacea. Did you know it can lead to food sensitivities?? IMAGINE THAT! We'll know the week after this Tuesday.
Also, my friend Rin is getting kicked out of her apartment. Mainly because she's a slob. I can't honestly say I blame her landlords-- her housekeeping skills are college-dude-clean. Given that she has to be gone by Dec 1, I realized she wouldn't want to go to Costco. Seeing that the membership is less than 1/2 what I expected, I decided I'd just get my own. Naturally, my first inclination was to do this online. Which I TOTALLY managed in Korean, until it was time to pay. Can an expat buy a Costco membership online in Korea? HELLLLLL NO, not even if you did the King's Quest for your bank & spent 2 weeks downloading certificates & programs on your computer to get a FUCKING CREDIT CARD YOU CAN USE ONLINE. EVEN THEN, you cannot order your membership online. FORTUNATELY, I've been told the people @ the Costco I go to have English speakers, so Tuesday I'll get there early enough to do the paperwork & then get my meat & pistachio fix (my addiction to their salted pistachios, SALTED PEOPLE, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW RARE that is here!) fixed.
So there's that. Lastly, friends from Chicago, Shana & Josh, rock stars that they are, not only came to Korea, but made plans for us to meet so I could meet their 3 month old daughter.
Now. Josh & Shana are great people, so it's worth any sacrifice, really, to get to talk with them. But their daughter Sylven? A SWEET, ADORABLE ANGEL. I don't just say that because I found out Shana ACTUALLY reads my blog! Oh no. I've wanted a niece & Sylven fell under my Tyler-induced baby love spell. She is laid back, SOOOOO CUTE, & sweet & fun. I loved talking to that little angel & making her coo. I especially love doing that because since becoming an aunt, I got an eyeful of what being a parent is like, so whenever I can give the parents maybe a few minutes of not having to worry about their baby, I'm all about helping, The fact that I get to have fun with sweet baby angels who are RIDICULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL, is an extra extra bonus. So, between the awesomeness of Shana & Josh as company anyway, PLUS an ADORABLE baby that I'm smitten with, well, it's just win-win.
It's now Saturday night here. Tomorrow, I'm going back to Laura's for Thanksgiving dinner + her birthday dinner. Tonight was wine night, & before it I got a message from a girl I just met there a month ago whom I liked right away:
Hey I know you said you were a maybe for wine night tonight but really hoping you can make it!! It was really great talking to you last time so hoping to see you again tonight
Unfortunately I can't make it for dinner tomorrow and I know lots of people are opting for that instead.WHO sends awesome messages like this?? There are people who LIKE ME! It's fucking crazy & awesome. Mark, YOU'D even like this girl, so you know she isn't some crazed lunatic.
Tomorrow is a potluck. Thinking ahead, I volunteered to make gravy & pumpkin pie, because gravy's made with milk & flour, & pumpkin pie, I mean OBVIOUSLY. Milk is the ONE THING that my skin does NOT freak out over, but I still wanted to make a gravy I could slather shit in. Laura's not making stuffing (:-() but she is making green bean casserole WITH ALMOND FLOUR. She's likewise making pumpkin bread & almond chocolate chip cookies so *I* can eat this shit. People down here take my FUCKING RIDICULOUS FOOD ISSUES into consideration & cook around them, no problem, no complaint! I am continually stunned by the great, great people I meet abroad.
Speaking (previously) of my skin, I'm still not ready to go on record about my doctor, regular doctor mind you, giving me natural supplements that my skin FUCKING LOVES, but I will say that those prescriptions, plus oil cleansing plus my inhumanely restrictive diet plus rose water makes my skin fucking happy as hell. So, I've recovered from the grapefruit soju, & am sometimes amazed my skin looks THIS good.
Speaking of good, I'll close with what I overheard a student explaining that I nearly lost it over. I so wish I could have filmed it. My higher-level class were conferring to discuss the Speaking Contest. Charls (some American asshole actually spelled his name this way, which is another example of why I fear Americans coming to teach here), said with all the DRAMA of Korean students, "I am SANTA CLAUS. I am HANDSOME, sparkly, shiny, & CUTE!"
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
It has come to this.
Notice I don’t mean this is my actual PLAN, but I am currently investigating UAE as my next location after this contract. While I love my students and, excepting that idiot teacher Yuna, my school, the pollution here is taking its toll. We know my diet is maniacally restricted. But I probably haven’t mentioned that it is NORMAL for women in their 20s and early 30s to post about never-before-occurring skin conditions occurring here, like acne & eczema, nor the other common complaint among the same group, of women LOSING THEIR HAIR. That’s what the pollution does here. While I have to continue making more than enough money to live, it'd be SUPER GREAT to not be in a place where the above complaints aren't a constant stream while I'm battling my own health complaints here. Given the lack of alcohol & recognition of about half the world's population as actual humans, nevertheless, if I don't have to fight my skin while fighting other forms of insanity, that'd be GREEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.
Here's my skin on one bottle of grapefruit soju:
My skin doesn't react this way to other liquors. & I can't help but wonder if my skin would react this way to everything it does now minus the solids in the air here. It'd be worth it to have a less restrictive diet. Though one year in a country back in Medieval times? I'm wondering if the health vs. mental isn't about even.
Here's my skin on one bottle of grapefruit soju:
My skin doesn't react this way to other liquors. & I can't help but wonder if my skin would react this way to everything it does now minus the solids in the air here. It'd be worth it to have a less restrictive diet. Though one year in a country back in Medieval times? I'm wondering if the health vs. mental isn't about even.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
On nights like this,
it doesn't feel like my diet's so restrictive.
Today was cooking day, for the week. Then, because when I woke up I saw that I left out a bag of frozen shrimp when going through the freezer last night for the ground beef for today, I realized I'd have to make them too.
I tried this recipe a couple weeks ago, & it was fantastic, until the coconut milk in the mashed potatoes & the veggies in the meat started to sour. So since then (& it had happened often before), I've started freezing the last 3 or so days' worth of lunch so it won't go bad. I didn't use the bacon I used last time on top, & the seasonings were different, but this week will be a repeat of my veggie-filled meatloaf plus mashed potatoes & steamed broccoli & cauliflower (since Lotte Mart out of NOWHERE had cauliflower again after a couple months. I was so happy when I saw it I grabbed 2 heads & walked through the store, no lie, continuously talking to them & calling them, "my precious.").
The difficulty with shrimp is it's ALWAYS cooked with lemon, because it tastes great together, but my skin hates citrus. Luckily a recipe mentioned white wine, & while it's hard to find good wine, & wine that isn't Chardonnay, I found an Argentinian Pinot Grigio or Blanc, & that was good enough for me.
So, lots of cooking done.
Other than that, in all the time I've not posted? Well not much.
I maybe mentioned that when I had knee discomfort the PT noticed my right quad is weaker than my left, so leg day is now a tear-inducing 1.5 hour workout, both legs, & then the right again. So Tues & Thurs are especially awful & taken up solely by the leg workout.
This weekend the burlesque group I'm in with Rin had a show down by the Air Force base Aaron used to work at; 70 people came, which isn't bad. Everything was (to me) falling apart because a girl I knew from wine night said she'd be in the show, then 2 weeks before, dropped out. That left 2 performers. Rin found a girl who does pole dancing, a former stripper from Canada, & Angela, who has been in Korea a long time, a very gregarious lady & a great MC. Honestly I could go into this whole weekend which had me PIIIIIIIIISSED & swearing this was my last show with the Suwon burlesque group, but it was only the one time @ the base, & I've got netflix to watch. There's another girl who helps do the stage stuff, Elizabeth, & she is FAAAAAR better than I because she was in theater for years, but she doesn't get dressed up as much as I, & isn't as comfortable as me in just sone clothes.
Aside from burlesque, to keep me from being bored, I've enrolled in 2 EdX college courses, one which I'll receive a certificate for & can put on my resume. I've also been talking more with a guy who WAS in Korea to expand his family's spas, but went back to Paris before we could meet, & SAYS he's still going to come back here, he's just super busy with work there. In Paris. Partying as well, poor thing. He keeps me entertained when he writes, & that's pretty much all I care about.
Otherwise, life is about as usual. I'm really excited to come home & NOT be in Asia for a week. Already know that whatever else, I'll be back in Chicago by the 27th, & Jason's going to plan on coming about then, & will have surprised the nephews, who are the biggest reasons I wanted/needed to visit home. But sweet JESUS do I have a shopping list! How much do electric blankets cost there? Because HERE, they're over $100. My feeling is, fuck that, I'm bringing a suitcase full of shit back.
Why come back when I still hate Korea & Asia? Because when I leave here, I'll receive $7500 from my pension, plus the $2000 severance. Each year is $2500 pension, so why leave with $5000 when I can leave with $2500? It SUCKS, but it'll help. Plus then I'll have paid off the credit card debt & can then start putting that money strictly toward college loans & MAYBE savings.
So, life goes along as usual here. Figured may as well throw in SOMETHING since it has been so long. I'll stop the double-right-leg workouts after Dec, so hopefully won't be so overwhelmed... except those college courses, & burlesque, & reading, &.... So. 'Til then!
Today was cooking day, for the week. Then, because when I woke up I saw that I left out a bag of frozen shrimp when going through the freezer last night for the ground beef for today, I realized I'd have to make them too.
I tried this recipe a couple weeks ago, & it was fantastic, until the coconut milk in the mashed potatoes & the veggies in the meat started to sour. So since then (& it had happened often before), I've started freezing the last 3 or so days' worth of lunch so it won't go bad. I didn't use the bacon I used last time on top, & the seasonings were different, but this week will be a repeat of my veggie-filled meatloaf plus mashed potatoes & steamed broccoli & cauliflower (since Lotte Mart out of NOWHERE had cauliflower again after a couple months. I was so happy when I saw it I grabbed 2 heads & walked through the store, no lie, continuously talking to them & calling them, "my precious.").
The difficulty with shrimp is it's ALWAYS cooked with lemon, because it tastes great together, but my skin hates citrus. Luckily a recipe mentioned white wine, & while it's hard to find good wine, & wine that isn't Chardonnay, I found an Argentinian Pinot Grigio or Blanc, & that was good enough for me.
So, lots of cooking done.
Other than that, in all the time I've not posted? Well not much.
I maybe mentioned that when I had knee discomfort the PT noticed my right quad is weaker than my left, so leg day is now a tear-inducing 1.5 hour workout, both legs, & then the right again. So Tues & Thurs are especially awful & taken up solely by the leg workout.
This weekend the burlesque group I'm in with Rin had a show down by the Air Force base Aaron used to work at; 70 people came, which isn't bad. Everything was (to me) falling apart because a girl I knew from wine night said she'd be in the show, then 2 weeks before, dropped out. That left 2 performers. Rin found a girl who does pole dancing, a former stripper from Canada, & Angela, who has been in Korea a long time, a very gregarious lady & a great MC. Honestly I could go into this whole weekend which had me PIIIIIIIIISSED & swearing this was my last show with the Suwon burlesque group, but it was only the one time @ the base, & I've got netflix to watch. There's another girl who helps do the stage stuff, Elizabeth, & she is FAAAAAR better than I because she was in theater for years, but she doesn't get dressed up as much as I, & isn't as comfortable as me in just sone clothes.
Aside from burlesque, to keep me from being bored, I've enrolled in 2 EdX college courses, one which I'll receive a certificate for & can put on my resume. I've also been talking more with a guy who WAS in Korea to expand his family's spas, but went back to Paris before we could meet, & SAYS he's still going to come back here, he's just super busy with work there. In Paris. Partying as well, poor thing. He keeps me entertained when he writes, & that's pretty much all I care about.
Otherwise, life is about as usual. I'm really excited to come home & NOT be in Asia for a week. Already know that whatever else, I'll be back in Chicago by the 27th, & Jason's going to plan on coming about then, & will have surprised the nephews, who are the biggest reasons I wanted/needed to visit home. But sweet JESUS do I have a shopping list! How much do electric blankets cost there? Because HERE, they're over $100. My feeling is, fuck that, I'm bringing a suitcase full of shit back.
Why come back when I still hate Korea & Asia? Because when I leave here, I'll receive $7500 from my pension, plus the $2000 severance. Each year is $2500 pension, so why leave with $5000 when I can leave with $2500? It SUCKS, but it'll help. Plus then I'll have paid off the credit card debt & can then start putting that money strictly toward college loans & MAYBE savings.
So, life goes along as usual here. Figured may as well throw in SOMETHING since it has been so long. I'll stop the double-right-leg workouts after Dec, so hopefully won't be so overwhelmed... except those college courses, & burlesque, & reading, &.... So. 'Til then!
Sunday, September 17, 2017
The endless frustration of endlessly resetting the clock
Because I live in Asia, where food allergies don't exist, & as I've said before, I'm convinced that planes fly over this blasted country dusting everything in flour, it is such a nightmare going wheat-free. Of course my nightmare only begins there, since I now tell people I'm allergic to food, as the God damned list is so fucking long of what I can't eat.
While it was completely anecdotal & there is no science to back it up whatsoever, I've also mentioned before that one guy said he was able eat grains again after 1-2 years with zero wheat, which seems enough time for the body to heal, & for cross-reactions (the body deciding that rice gluten looks JUST LIKE wheat gluten, hence the body reacts to it badly). That has been my goal: 1 year, ideally 2 without any of those things, & then go from there.
I'm sure you can imagine how fucking hard it is to not eat grains period, never mind in Korea where that is EXACTLY & only what's for dinner most nights. (Sometimes I look at my coworkers' dinner & think: marathoner carb loading before a race, or Korean dinner?) & given EVERYTHING I have to avoid now, I'm sure you'll likewise understand that every once in a while, I have to give in & have SOMETHING I'm currently not supposed to be consuming (according to the pros). The food with the smallest/not really noticeable reaction is dairy, so while I do get this little throat-clearing thing that's apparently indicative of an allergy, that's it, so that's the vice. Lately I've been craving ice cream, & today, after a weekend of no sleep, I decided I'd go ahead & have some.
I went into the Baskin Robins/Dunkin Donuts/whatever hybrid I was passing. I still look & make sure I don't pick one with grains (cookies n' cream, for example).
& that cup of ice cream was so fucking good that I decided I'd go to the convenience store & see if they had anything with chocolate swirls. They did have one: it's a Korean company's, & the picture was chocolate chip with some coffee swirls. Good enough!
However when I got home, those little chocolate chips were much smaller-- small enough & soft enough, that they were doubtless some sort of cookie shit.
The BEAUTY of wheat issues is that you are in for a penny, in for a pound: you take a bite of something, swallow it but then think or realize something in there was almost or certainly wheat. You stop eating, but that little amount is going to do the same damage as eating a whole loaf of bread. You swallow a crumb, & that ___ days without wheat resets A-FUCKING-GAIN.
I don't go out to eat. I don't eat what my boss cooks, including heavenly kimchi stew or any other tasty stuff. I don't have even a bite of birthday cake when there's a birthday (EVERY TIME, Anna the head teacher will say, "Oh, you can't have?" & I'll nod, then she'll say, "Just one bite?" & I decline again, while everyone eats cake with really good butter cream frostings that the bakeries here use). It sucks, but I've accepted it. I take the cookies & breads & candy & everything the little kids bring me for presents & give them away or throw them away. NEVERTHELESS, eventually I will try something that seems safe, & wham! the clock restarts.
Admittedly, I'm not doing what I really HAVE to do, which is never eat ANYTHING fried, because deep fried anything in oil that was used to cook something with wheat means your food's contaminated. I RARELY eat out, but when I do, it's something like french fries or things I know aren't made with wheat. Soooo, I'm not 100% because I'm a fucking human being trying to not slit my wrists in Asia so I can eventually make it to Europe. But I'm 98%, which should count for fucking SOMETHING. And yet, it fucking does not. So, will I ever be able to try grains again? It's looking like absolutely not, because I'm never not consuming them in some way, no matter how hard I try.
I'm EXHAUSTED & FRUSTRATED & angry & resentful of all the trying & work I have to do to not eat anything risky.
Funny enough, despite being in Korea, I AM 100% on being rice & other-grain free! I haven't had rice or anything made with it in... it'll be a year this winter. Funny that rice-free is easier here than wheat-free, but here we are.
While it was completely anecdotal & there is no science to back it up whatsoever, I've also mentioned before that one guy said he was able eat grains again after 1-2 years with zero wheat, which seems enough time for the body to heal, & for cross-reactions (the body deciding that rice gluten looks JUST LIKE wheat gluten, hence the body reacts to it badly). That has been my goal: 1 year, ideally 2 without any of those things, & then go from there.
I'm sure you can imagine how fucking hard it is to not eat grains period, never mind in Korea where that is EXACTLY & only what's for dinner most nights. (Sometimes I look at my coworkers' dinner & think: marathoner carb loading before a race, or Korean dinner?) & given EVERYTHING I have to avoid now, I'm sure you'll likewise understand that every once in a while, I have to give in & have SOMETHING I'm currently not supposed to be consuming (according to the pros). The food with the smallest/not really noticeable reaction is dairy, so while I do get this little throat-clearing thing that's apparently indicative of an allergy, that's it, so that's the vice. Lately I've been craving ice cream, & today, after a weekend of no sleep, I decided I'd go ahead & have some.
I went into the Baskin Robins/Dunkin Donuts/whatever hybrid I was passing. I still look & make sure I don't pick one with grains (cookies n' cream, for example).
& that cup of ice cream was so fucking good that I decided I'd go to the convenience store & see if they had anything with chocolate swirls. They did have one: it's a Korean company's, & the picture was chocolate chip with some coffee swirls. Good enough!
However when I got home, those little chocolate chips were much smaller-- small enough & soft enough, that they were doubtless some sort of cookie shit.
The BEAUTY of wheat issues is that you are in for a penny, in for a pound: you take a bite of something, swallow it but then think or realize something in there was almost or certainly wheat. You stop eating, but that little amount is going to do the same damage as eating a whole loaf of bread. You swallow a crumb, & that ___ days without wheat resets A-FUCKING-GAIN.
I don't go out to eat. I don't eat what my boss cooks, including heavenly kimchi stew or any other tasty stuff. I don't have even a bite of birthday cake when there's a birthday (EVERY TIME, Anna the head teacher will say, "Oh, you can't have?" & I'll nod, then she'll say, "Just one bite?" & I decline again, while everyone eats cake with really good butter cream frostings that the bakeries here use). It sucks, but I've accepted it. I take the cookies & breads & candy & everything the little kids bring me for presents & give them away or throw them away. NEVERTHELESS, eventually I will try something that seems safe, & wham! the clock restarts.
Admittedly, I'm not doing what I really HAVE to do, which is never eat ANYTHING fried, because deep fried anything in oil that was used to cook something with wheat means your food's contaminated. I RARELY eat out, but when I do, it's something like french fries or things I know aren't made with wheat. Soooo, I'm not 100% because I'm a fucking human being trying to not slit my wrists in Asia so I can eventually make it to Europe. But I'm 98%, which should count for fucking SOMETHING. And yet, it fucking does not. So, will I ever be able to try grains again? It's looking like absolutely not, because I'm never not consuming them in some way, no matter how hard I try.
I'm EXHAUSTED & FRUSTRATED & angry & resentful of all the trying & work I have to do to not eat anything risky.
Funny enough, despite being in Korea, I AM 100% on being rice & other-grain free! I haven't had rice or anything made with it in... it'll be a year this winter. Funny that rice-free is easier here than wheat-free, but here we are.
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Waiting for the trickle to stop
In case this hasn't been made manifestly clear, the ONLY reason I am on dating apps is due to BOREDOM, not because I'm lonely or want or need someone in my life. In fact, I was focusing late last week on some remote jobs, which took up my free time quite nicely so there was no desire to scroll left on the hordes from a country who, for me, don't start plastic surgery early nor often enough.
I am currently talking to 2 military guys. Well, 3, but one is in Syria on a peacekeeping mission. I know! Did YOU know we have guys in the ground doing the ol' peacekeeping gig in Syria? He didn't write for 2 days & when he did I said how've you been, he replied, base got attacked by insurgents, so had to find a new place to build base.
You know, it SHOULD make me feel small, & my silly, insignificant issues should seem just that. It's just that... I've BEEN down this road ssooooooooo many times & know the verses & chorus too well to give a flying fuck if he thinks my bad day is cute when his is literally life or death. I can't be serious about military guys, I already know that. This particular guy, get this, LOVED Seoul & can't wait to live here. Obviously a TBI accompanied him on his tour of Seoul, because no one with a sense of aesthetics, strictly air-breathing lungs, or 3rd grade sense of logic could love Asia, never mind Seoul. He's also as good a conversationalist as a comatose person, so this has my falling for him written all over it!
Naturally the 2nd guy with whom I'm talking the most is ACTUALLY (you won't believe it. *I* can't believe it!) good at conversation, nice, SO NOT looking for a hook-up but someone to date, so YES! you guessed it, he's actually hiding fat in his photos. He's also military though, so no, he doesn't really read. Or use proper grammar. OR EVEN DRINK COCKTAILS. Noooo, this guy is more of a beer & shots kind of guy. Isn't that translated into mouth-breather? How nice. I get the pleasant task of saying no, the 15 year age gap doesn't matter to me, but the 15 point IQ difference, does.
WHY?? WHY IS EVERYONE SO DUMB? Why, when men believed for MILLENNIA, they were the superior sex, did they NOT NOTICE that good-looking and smart rarely, if ever, coexisted in the same body?
When can I be in Europe where not stupid & handsome CAN coexist? Why is it SO FAR OFF? Why am I in the inspiration and spirit animal of Latin America? Why can't I GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT PLACE??
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Sooo.... maybe hateful me just hates... everywhere that isn't Europe
Today I tried [an unsuccessful] autoimmune paleo cookie recipe, and I'd say somewhat naturally, I put on music. Because the rest of the world is persona non gratis to pandora, spotify, & VPNs, I went with my usual continuous music source outside what those of you in the civilized world use: youtube. But yet again, Korea exists solely to piss me off in the comfort of my own home, because their ads are: a.) before every song in a goddamned list and b.) SEVERAL. MINUTES. LONG. This particular ad is several minutes of text, no sound. Which isn't as bad as the 5-minute ad of some average schmo talking about some rice wine/liquor, but in any event, I had to come to my computer with gunk-covered hands, only to accidentally close the window, then clean my fingers to get youtube back up & play song TWO in the goddamned play list.
There's a K-pop group that a student wrote about in one of my classrooms. I always thought the name was a little weird: B1A4. Someone wrote about B1A4 being their favorite band. I always thought that was a weird-ass name for a group, but never thought about asking about it, until I was talking with one of my middle school classes, & one of the girls mentioned that group. I said, "Yeah, I've heard of them but don't know any songs by them, what is the name about?" Well, there are 5 boys in the group, & 1 of them is blood type B, while the other 4 are type A.
I've heard that people in Korea diet, & even DATE, based on blood type. But, advertising it as the name of your BAND? Is, to me, beyond fucking weird & creepy.
The friend who told me I was going through the "I hate everything here" phase just found out I'm paleo with a couple other restrictions, so she said, "No wonder you hate it here."
I mean, I live in a country where biological age is not a thing, but publicly announcing your blood type IS, & where carb loading is dinner 5 times/week. Somebody, please, save me.
There's a K-pop group that a student wrote about in one of my classrooms. I always thought the name was a little weird: B1A4. Someone wrote about B1A4 being their favorite band. I always thought that was a weird-ass name for a group, but never thought about asking about it, until I was talking with one of my middle school classes, & one of the girls mentioned that group. I said, "Yeah, I've heard of them but don't know any songs by them, what is the name about?" Well, there are 5 boys in the group, & 1 of them is blood type B, while the other 4 are type A.
I've heard that people in Korea diet, & even DATE, based on blood type. But, advertising it as the name of your BAND? Is, to me, beyond fucking weird & creepy.
The friend who told me I was going through the "I hate everything here" phase just found out I'm paleo with a couple other restrictions, so she said, "No wonder you hate it here."
I mean, I live in a country where biological age is not a thing, but publicly announcing your blood type IS, & where carb loading is dinner 5 times/week. Somebody, please, save me.
Friday, July 28, 2017
Did I know that tears to ligaments don't ever completely heal?
Lately, maybe starting last week or so, I noticed that the back of my right knee hurts a bit when I do stretches with my right knee bent facing out. Decided since I am on vacation & was just going to do yoga this week anyway that I may as well make an appointment to see one of the only real PT providers in Korea that I know of, rather than repeating my experience a the orthopedic clinic who thought a shin splint was a bruise (without discoloration).
She asked for a history of injuries, & I luckily found the name of the ligament. I can't remember if it was the left or the right, though feeling somewhat confident it was the right, particularly given this.
I'm seeing her on Wednesday, & she said no "vigorous activities" until I see her. I asked if yoga counts. Damn it, that was my plan next week. Oh well, I can't say I'm THAT sad when I have to rest if I can't even do that-- I love the luxury of sitting around after work like most people. Just hopefully it isn't worse than it was back then.
Only other news is that my skin is JUST NOT getting over last month. It seems to be getting worse, though maybe it's just getting worse before it gets better. I won't even chance it with flavored drinks anymore because corn seems to really piss off my skin & I don't know how much HFCS is used here, if at all. I'm hoping it's just that my skin takes longer to recover each time I fall off the party-pooper wagon, rather than there being some OTHER new thing I'm allergic to, or my skin's just done being on good behavior when I give up eating 80% of food for its sake.
The one bright spot in it all is my real freezer, which has plenty of room for everything, including the last of the Absolut Korea I had in my fridge, that just isn't quite as good chilled instead of very cold.
She asked for a history of injuries, & I luckily found the name of the ligament. I can't remember if it was the left or the right, though feeling somewhat confident it was the right, particularly given this.
I'm seeing her on Wednesday, & she said no "vigorous activities" until I see her. I asked if yoga counts. Damn it, that was my plan next week. Oh well, I can't say I'm THAT sad when I have to rest if I can't even do that-- I love the luxury of sitting around after work like most people. Just hopefully it isn't worse than it was back then.
Only other news is that my skin is JUST NOT getting over last month. It seems to be getting worse, though maybe it's just getting worse before it gets better. I won't even chance it with flavored drinks anymore because corn seems to really piss off my skin & I don't know how much HFCS is used here, if at all. I'm hoping it's just that my skin takes longer to recover each time I fall off the party-pooper wagon, rather than there being some OTHER new thing I'm allergic to, or my skin's just done being on good behavior when I give up eating 80% of food for its sake.
The one bright spot in it all is my real freezer, which has plenty of room for everything, including the last of the Absolut Korea I had in my fridge, that just isn't quite as good chilled instead of very cold.
Friday, July 21, 2017
How soon I forget
Gave myself a nice anxiety attack last night-- wanted to double-check the debt repayment timetable. 33 months, not 30. So staying a third year is what must be done. Unfortunately, it'll end right when my contract does, so I won't even have the option to throw at the student debt. That shit isn't ever going anywhere. For damned sure. Nor will I have the option to throw the money I was throwing at cc debt toward the money I need in my bank account for Europe.
I made one extra payment last night toward the cc debt, so now it's 32 instead of 33. I have another $600 I believe leftover from my severance for my first year at Jung Chul, but that I will send for my student loans.
Funding for Europe will be my pension then (hopefully/I think around $5000), plus my severance, so that would be about $7000. Then will pray to God I can get extra loan from Stafford or something.
Interestingly, my friend Rin has been in Korea for... 7 years? 5? Don't know, but she has no intentions of ever leaving. When I mentioned how I'm miserable at having stay & am only relaxed & happy at work, she said that's how she felt at year 2-3. Amazing that this shit cycles so much & takes so long. Jesus. JUST like Keri said. I listen to a lot of what she says, then disregard pieces that are always proven true anyway.
So here's hoping that my burning hatred shall to pass.
Will be interesting to see if same cycle repeats in Europe. Where they at least have really good wine cheap. Unlike this fuck show. Hey look at me, being a normal expat!! I'M NORMAL! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
I made one extra payment last night toward the cc debt, so now it's 32 instead of 33. I have another $600 I believe leftover from my severance for my first year at Jung Chul, but that I will send for my student loans.
Funding for Europe will be my pension then (hopefully/I think around $5000), plus my severance, so that would be about $7000. Then will pray to God I can get extra loan from Stafford or something.
Interestingly, my friend Rin has been in Korea for... 7 years? 5? Don't know, but she has no intentions of ever leaving. When I mentioned how I'm miserable at having stay & am only relaxed & happy at work, she said that's how she felt at year 2-3. Amazing that this shit cycles so much & takes so long. Jesus. JUST like Keri said. I listen to a lot of what she says, then disregard pieces that are always proven true anyway.
So here's hoping that my burning hatred shall to pass.
Will be interesting to see if same cycle repeats in Europe. Where they at least have really good wine cheap. Unlike this fuck show. Hey look at me, being a normal expat!! I'M NORMAL! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Shit is never easy
It didn't take long before I became deeply depressed & demoralized by my first, & I'd say most significant, roadblock: money. & that issue itself isn't the cost of school-- graduate courses in most German universities only go up to around 2000 euros/semester. No, the main issue is living. & in order to get the student visa, I'd need to show that I have enough money in my bank account to live on, so I won't end up on their welfare system. Laughably, the requirement is only about 8,600 euros for a year. Laughable for not only how SOOOO low that number is for living for a year in Western Europe, but also because there's just no way I could conceive of getting that money together.
I despaired & drank that night, though Kiki's admonishing me for giving up so easily on my first roadblock to NZ was in my mind. Of course, Germany doesn't care if that money comes strictly from scrimping and saving, loans, or a combination. I have already heard from the one org that provides scholarships to foreign students for studying in Europe, & I'm ineligible for a scholarship because it has been more than 6 years since my undergrad degree. But I can still apply for loans.
So, not thrilled about that, but ok. Then I was reminded that I'm not quite as far from my goals as whatever I can squirrel away while working-- when I leave Korea, I collect my pension. One girl who's leaving said after 3 years she'll have about 6 million won, or without doing the actual exchange rate, $6000. I'll only have 2 years, unless I stay for ONE MORE year, which I just can't fathom or accept, particularly given how fucking hard it is for me to eat here, & the pollution & all the other big and small things that I hate about being here. Because in case I haven't said it here or it has been a while, I'm only happy when I'm at work. YEP, you read that right! I'm relaxed & happy at work, it's when I leave that I'm aggravated AF.
Sooo, I'm deciding whether I should do the extra year or not. Technically, my loan repayment is for 2.5 years, & given how tight my budget always is, I haven't been able to put more toward it to shorten the amount of time. & then I'd still have another few months to use the money I was using for the credit card debt aside for this instead (though there are still those PESKY, awful student loans).
Assuming I could get the amount up to $10,000 or so with pension, severance, etc., I'd plan on taking out another $10,000 if I could to be safe because, SERIOUSLY German immigration. Because I still don't know how I'd get the part time job I'm allowed on the visa when I don't speak any German, & even if I start studying now, won't get to where I can work there.
Sooo, I don't know, it seems I'll have to stay an extra year, even though the idea makes me wretched. I just want to get the fuck out of Asia. Period. But, other than the Middle East which is even less of an option, this is it for making enough money. The only other way is taking out a bigger loan, IF I'm even able to do so.
I despaired & drank that night, though Kiki's admonishing me for giving up so easily on my first roadblock to NZ was in my mind. Of course, Germany doesn't care if that money comes strictly from scrimping and saving, loans, or a combination. I have already heard from the one org that provides scholarships to foreign students for studying in Europe, & I'm ineligible for a scholarship because it has been more than 6 years since my undergrad degree. But I can still apply for loans.
So, not thrilled about that, but ok. Then I was reminded that I'm not quite as far from my goals as whatever I can squirrel away while working-- when I leave Korea, I collect my pension. One girl who's leaving said after 3 years she'll have about 6 million won, or without doing the actual exchange rate, $6000. I'll only have 2 years, unless I stay for ONE MORE year, which I just can't fathom or accept, particularly given how fucking hard it is for me to eat here, & the pollution & all the other big and small things that I hate about being here. Because in case I haven't said it here or it has been a while, I'm only happy when I'm at work. YEP, you read that right! I'm relaxed & happy at work, it's when I leave that I'm aggravated AF.
Sooo, I'm deciding whether I should do the extra year or not. Technically, my loan repayment is for 2.5 years, & given how tight my budget always is, I haven't been able to put more toward it to shorten the amount of time. & then I'd still have another few months to use the money I was using for the credit card debt aside for this instead (though there are still those PESKY, awful student loans).
Assuming I could get the amount up to $10,000 or so with pension, severance, etc., I'd plan on taking out another $10,000 if I could to be safe because, SERIOUSLY German immigration. Because I still don't know how I'd get the part time job I'm allowed on the visa when I don't speak any German, & even if I start studying now, won't get to where I can work there.
Sooo, I don't know, it seems I'll have to stay an extra year, even though the idea makes me wretched. I just want to get the fuck out of Asia. Period. But, other than the Middle East which is even less of an option, this is it for making enough money. The only other way is taking out a bigger loan, IF I'm even able to do so.
Short research break= short update
As I've often said, Europe is where I want to be. But the only way I can get to Europe to teach (which is the only way I'll get to Europe anyway) is by teaching English. A couple weeks ago, at a party, I met an Aussie who's leaving Korea to teach in Germany. Which is also where my newest dear friends & married couple Rob & Meghan are going. Naturally, the Aussie told me she is certified to teach in Oz. But she told me it took her 6 months to get this job, & she was damned lucky, because she doesn't have a Masters. She said if I really want to teach in Europe, of course I need to get certified, but it's not a bad idea to get a Masters too.
Great, except for that whole massive expense issue. There was one program I looked at in Chicago while I was home that would run me about $60-80,000 for both. & I just can't. It's too much.
Then I remembered that it can be less money to get higher education abroad. Even for us Americans (maybe especially for us, given the insane cost of university there). You can take courses all in English too, so language needn't be a concern. Plus, of course, I'd be in Europe while getting said education.
As with every idea that I consider doing, cockimamy or otherwise, I've already run my getting my Masters (even at my age) past my tether to reality, Mercedes, who has always supported me getting my Masters. Rob & Meghan have frequently & seriously told me I can stay with them if I choose Germany until I get myself sorted, or even live with them if I so choose.
Sooo, here I sit, researching Masters programs in Europe. I'm concentrating on Germany because it's a popular destination for people doing this. Plus my soon-to-be-local connections. Though I'm not sure how I'll like Germany. Jason hated it, which gives me pause. Significant pause. New York University has a program for ESL in Prague, though my friend Jess here hated Prague, which likewise gives me pause, though of course there's no guarantee I'd hate these places too, nor like them particularly if my happiness period requires me to take an anti-depressant.
I'm worried about waiting too long, but also worried about money. Most places, Germany in particular, only allow you to work part time to take care of your expenses, & you can't do freelance. So I'm not that sure how realistically affordable this is-- or rather, how I'm going to make it work, since I'm pretty well decided on this.
While I considered England for any number of obvious reasons, one big deterrent is the cost of living, particularly in London. I can't imagine Cambridge or Oxford would be much better. & hell there's even Scotland or Australia or NZ for that matter, but I'd rather be on the mainland, closer to unvisited & favorite countries alike.
So, if you've any suggestions on raking through the quantity of info, etc., let me know. I'll keep you updated on where things look to be headed. I'm aiming for after completing this contract.
Great, except for that whole massive expense issue. There was one program I looked at in Chicago while I was home that would run me about $60-80,000 for both. & I just can't. It's too much.
Then I remembered that it can be less money to get higher education abroad. Even for us Americans (maybe especially for us, given the insane cost of university there). You can take courses all in English too, so language needn't be a concern. Plus, of course, I'd be in Europe while getting said education.
As with every idea that I consider doing, cockimamy or otherwise, I've already run my getting my Masters (even at my age) past my tether to reality, Mercedes, who has always supported me getting my Masters. Rob & Meghan have frequently & seriously told me I can stay with them if I choose Germany until I get myself sorted, or even live with them if I so choose.
Sooo, here I sit, researching Masters programs in Europe. I'm concentrating on Germany because it's a popular destination for people doing this. Plus my soon-to-be-local connections. Though I'm not sure how I'll like Germany. Jason hated it, which gives me pause. Significant pause. New York University has a program for ESL in Prague, though my friend Jess here hated Prague, which likewise gives me pause, though of course there's no guarantee I'd hate these places too, nor like them particularly if my happiness period requires me to take an anti-depressant.
I'm worried about waiting too long, but also worried about money. Most places, Germany in particular, only allow you to work part time to take care of your expenses, & you can't do freelance. So I'm not that sure how realistically affordable this is-- or rather, how I'm going to make it work, since I'm pretty well decided on this.
While I considered England for any number of obvious reasons, one big deterrent is the cost of living, particularly in London. I can't imagine Cambridge or Oxford would be much better. & hell there's even Scotland or Australia or NZ for that matter, but I'd rather be on the mainland, closer to unvisited & favorite countries alike.
So, if you've any suggestions on raking through the quantity of info, etc., let me know. I'll keep you updated on where things look to be headed. I'm aiming for after completing this contract.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
For once, a quick & short update.
No really. I swear.
After getting to immigration & waiting the 15-or so minutes for my number to be called, only to discover that I wasn't due there 'til tomorrow, I left & decided I should still have time to get to my doctor to find out the results of last week's tests.
Not much more new, except that she says I'm not anemic, though borderline, I guess, so need to keep ahead of it. Still low on those previously-mentioned vitamins, plus some others that I know are commonly recommended for those of us with thyroid problems. Luckily, the clinic just happens to sell some. I didn't ask, though really needed/wanted to, if they are without grains. I kind of know there isn't any way they are. But I spent the money, so I feel like I have to go ahead & use at least one month, if not the full 2 month supply.
I finally decided to ask her about anti-depressant interactions--she said none really, but offered 2 other supplements that help with seratonin production-- basically, I'm trying a "natural" anti-depressant for now.
Finally, my T4 is definitely too high but T3 still a bit low, so in addition to the supplements aiding my body in convering the T4 to T3, she gave me T3 pills. This is not something I've really heard of doctors doing anywhere-- most people want the T3 so as not to worry about issues with converting, but for whatever reasons, doctors are loathe to supply it.
My urine, just as when I had a mysterious UTI a month or 2 ago, continues to show signs of inflammation. Interestingly, I do regularly now get what feels a bit like the UTI pains, though somewhat muted, & it isn't enough to disturb sleep, & is gone by morning. Just feeling it ebb away now, actually. Wondering if it was coffee, though suspecting more the irresistible taste of kimchi jiggae I had yesterday. Eh, who knows. Will ask if we can figure out what could be causing said inflammation.
Finally, said I don't have Hep B antibodies, so recommended the booster. I agreed, then was perturbed to find, while getting the shot, that I can't workout today, nor shower.
Soooo, here's hoping. Back in a month to see how it's all gelling, or not.
After getting to immigration & waiting the 15-or so minutes for my number to be called, only to discover that I wasn't due there 'til tomorrow, I left & decided I should still have time to get to my doctor to find out the results of last week's tests.
Not much more new, except that she says I'm not anemic, though borderline, I guess, so need to keep ahead of it. Still low on those previously-mentioned vitamins, plus some others that I know are commonly recommended for those of us with thyroid problems. Luckily, the clinic just happens to sell some. I didn't ask, though really needed/wanted to, if they are without grains. I kind of know there isn't any way they are. But I spent the money, so I feel like I have to go ahead & use at least one month, if not the full 2 month supply.
I finally decided to ask her about anti-depressant interactions--she said none really, but offered 2 other supplements that help with seratonin production-- basically, I'm trying a "natural" anti-depressant for now.
Finally, my T4 is definitely too high but T3 still a bit low, so in addition to the supplements aiding my body in convering the T4 to T3, she gave me T3 pills. This is not something I've really heard of doctors doing anywhere-- most people want the T3 so as not to worry about issues with converting, but for whatever reasons, doctors are loathe to supply it.
My urine, just as when I had a mysterious UTI a month or 2 ago, continues to show signs of inflammation. Interestingly, I do regularly now get what feels a bit like the UTI pains, though somewhat muted, & it isn't enough to disturb sleep, & is gone by morning. Just feeling it ebb away now, actually. Wondering if it was coffee, though suspecting more the irresistible taste of kimchi jiggae I had yesterday. Eh, who knows. Will ask if we can figure out what could be causing said inflammation.
Finally, said I don't have Hep B antibodies, so recommended the booster. I agreed, then was perturbed to find, while getting the shot, that I can't workout today, nor shower.
Soooo, here's hoping. Back in a month to see how it's all gelling, or not.
Thursday, June 29, 2017
The push & pull of Asia
Push because no matter how great the people, Asia's not where I want to be. & yet, when it comes to medical care, it blows the US away.
Another Hashimoto's sufferer is a good friend of mine here, & she recommended a doctor I've seen others recommend, so I decided to go in today, because my old prescription is running out, & the former doctor is pretty lax & carefree about meds & dosages. I was still a little hypo last visit, yet the dosage didn't change, and I can't cut the pills much less than I do, though I think any rational human being would agree we laymen shouldn't be doing that shit ourselves.
Now that I have the national plan, I was less worried about the price, though this doctor was good enough to tell me the prices before I agreed to her suggested tests, which were multiple & surprising, because one I've never been offered before. So, aside from a blood & urine test, she offered & I agreed to a thyroid ultrasound & a uterus ultrasound, which was conducted inter-vaginally.
The ultrasound technician didn't sugarcoat, though she also probably wasn't apprised of my condition. She remarked that my thyroid is rather small & damaged, & while of course it is, it was still a little shocking to hear that. Uterus apparently is fine, except that it looks like my period may be coming early, since there was a thicker build-up of blood on the walls.
I brought the last test results I had, & while looking at it she said that my dosage is way too high, because while my T3 is low (the hormone the body uses), my T4 is high (this is the pill I take, & the body converts it to T3). So, my body isn't converting the T4 that well. One reason could be that it turns out that I'm anemic. I was asked the most remarkable question for a paleo person, namely: are you a vegetarian? Because I'm very low in vitamin B12. Having just looked up what foods are high in B12, I can see why: aside from my opting not to cook fish because I hate the smell & never feel like going to Lotte Mart, where the freshest fish is, it's mostly stuff I can't really eat: dairy and soy, as well as red meat, except apparently for pork, which only has 11 g per 3.5 oz. & the doctor said this, plus other things including stress for shit's sake, can interfere with my body properly converting T4 to T3. So in addition to a diet that is tailor-made to deprive me of sufficient nutrients, I also have high anxiety. I truly was made to be battling myself at all damned times.
Although I was charged 96,000 won more than I anticipated, I really can't complain about paying 196,000 (I'd guess about $170) for 2 ultrasounds plus blood & urine tests. The other bonus was that Dr. Park told me to contact the national insurance office to see if I as a foreigner qualify for the free annual pap smear & mammogram that any 40-year-old Korean woman would.
So I'm sure I'll have more to add next week, when the test results are in.
Another Hashimoto's sufferer is a good friend of mine here, & she recommended a doctor I've seen others recommend, so I decided to go in today, because my old prescription is running out, & the former doctor is pretty lax & carefree about meds & dosages. I was still a little hypo last visit, yet the dosage didn't change, and I can't cut the pills much less than I do, though I think any rational human being would agree we laymen shouldn't be doing that shit ourselves.
Now that I have the national plan, I was less worried about the price, though this doctor was good enough to tell me the prices before I agreed to her suggested tests, which were multiple & surprising, because one I've never been offered before. So, aside from a blood & urine test, she offered & I agreed to a thyroid ultrasound & a uterus ultrasound, which was conducted inter-vaginally.
The ultrasound technician didn't sugarcoat, though she also probably wasn't apprised of my condition. She remarked that my thyroid is rather small & damaged, & while of course it is, it was still a little shocking to hear that. Uterus apparently is fine, except that it looks like my period may be coming early, since there was a thicker build-up of blood on the walls.
I brought the last test results I had, & while looking at it she said that my dosage is way too high, because while my T3 is low (the hormone the body uses), my T4 is high (this is the pill I take, & the body converts it to T3). So, my body isn't converting the T4 that well. One reason could be that it turns out that I'm anemic. I was asked the most remarkable question for a paleo person, namely: are you a vegetarian? Because I'm very low in vitamin B12. Having just looked up what foods are high in B12, I can see why: aside from my opting not to cook fish because I hate the smell & never feel like going to Lotte Mart, where the freshest fish is, it's mostly stuff I can't really eat: dairy and soy, as well as red meat, except apparently for pork, which only has 11 g per 3.5 oz. & the doctor said this, plus other things including stress for shit's sake, can interfere with my body properly converting T4 to T3. So in addition to a diet that is tailor-made to deprive me of sufficient nutrients, I also have high anxiety. I truly was made to be battling myself at all damned times.
Although I was charged 96,000 won more than I anticipated, I really can't complain about paying 196,000 (I'd guess about $170) for 2 ultrasounds plus blood & urine tests. The other bonus was that Dr. Park told me to contact the national insurance office to see if I as a foreigner qualify for the free annual pap smear & mammogram that any 40-year-old Korean woman would.
So I'm sure I'll have more to add next week, when the test results are in.
Friday, June 23, 2017
What is my problem?
My first thought is that my problem is this yoga instructor on youtube, because every time (EVERY. TIME.) she says it's a "challenging practice," I will be angrily calling her a cunt in the middle of it. So, yes, she's my problem, but of course I'm fully aware my real problem is ME. Because I keep doing her videos.
I'm really trying to focus on improving my balance & flexibility, because it'll help me get stronger & especially help me when I'm older. My family on both sides are clear lessons on what I'd like to avoid.
Basically, Mon-Thurs I dread coming home to do the shit I have to do, but I do it, & as you haven't seen since I'm writing into a vacuum since no one reads this, on arm days in particular I get excited because despite the exhausting tabata or core workout, I can still do & am leaning new arm balances.
Fridays I was intending to be my easier day, just a day of stretching & relaxing yoga. But then I get home & I think, yes, sure, need some stretching, but let's just do something with a LITTLE balancing all the way around.
There's a lot more leg balancing than arm balancing in today's video, & on the one hand that's good because I really fucking need to improve there, but on the other hand, I can't fucking balance on 1 leg very well, & we're on 1 leg for a fucking long time. To my continuing anger, Cassandra the yoga girl has us do 3 warrior 3s (which is not easy since my ankles & legs just don't like balancing for long, & I worked my legs yesterday), & worse, standing splits twice.
To add insult to my inability to withstand her 1 legged marathons, she has us go into blighted pigeon pose for what she SAYS will be 10 breaths, but that fucking bitch can't fucking count because when she still hadn't ended it after 10 breaths, I couldn't even keep track of how long we held it since I just was then focusing on not screaming at my computer.
Weirdly, I still can't really hold crow for very long though my legs are starting to get higher on my legs & I can lift my feet a bit more once I'm up, but weirder still is that the big balancing pose is supported headstand. I couldn't get my legs straight up, but I did get them both off the ground, & held them at my stomach for a good 5 breaths. When I tried extending one up & came out of it, but I was able to get right back up into my knees at my stomach for another 5 breaths.
Funny: I want to say balancing on my arms is easier, but we only do the 2 poses, whereas we hold these torturous 1 leg balances for at least a few minutes each leg. So the time & frequency aren't comparable, but it still irks the hell out of me.
I'm really trying to focus on improving my balance & flexibility, because it'll help me get stronger & especially help me when I'm older. My family on both sides are clear lessons on what I'd like to avoid.
Basically, Mon-Thurs I dread coming home to do the shit I have to do, but I do it, & as you haven't seen since I'm writing into a vacuum since no one reads this, on arm days in particular I get excited because despite the exhausting tabata or core workout, I can still do & am leaning new arm balances.
Fridays I was intending to be my easier day, just a day of stretching & relaxing yoga. But then I get home & I think, yes, sure, need some stretching, but let's just do something with a LITTLE balancing all the way around.
There's a lot more leg balancing than arm balancing in today's video, & on the one hand that's good because I really fucking need to improve there, but on the other hand, I can't fucking balance on 1 leg very well, & we're on 1 leg for a fucking long time. To my continuing anger, Cassandra the yoga girl has us do 3 warrior 3s (which is not easy since my ankles & legs just don't like balancing for long, & I worked my legs yesterday), & worse, standing splits twice.
To add insult to my inability to withstand her 1 legged marathons, she has us go into blighted pigeon pose for what she SAYS will be 10 breaths, but that fucking bitch can't fucking count because when she still hadn't ended it after 10 breaths, I couldn't even keep track of how long we held it since I just was then focusing on not screaming at my computer.
Weirdly, I still can't really hold crow for very long though my legs are starting to get higher on my legs & I can lift my feet a bit more once I'm up, but weirder still is that the big balancing pose is supported headstand. I couldn't get my legs straight up, but I did get them both off the ground, & held them at my stomach for a good 5 breaths. When I tried extending one up & came out of it, but I was able to get right back up into my knees at my stomach for another 5 breaths.
 |
| So, this, instead of straight legs |
Funny: I want to say balancing on my arms is easier, but we only do the 2 poses, whereas we hold these torturous 1 leg balances for at least a few minutes each leg. So the time & frequency aren't comparable, but it still irks the hell out of me.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
It's my blog, I'll do what I want.
Well, I guess technically this isn't the first time I've used this for health updates.
First off, I've had the oddest outbreak of very small, painless, itchless, basically doing-nothing red dots all over my body. I suspect it's due to my rosacea, but really, I have no idea. I posted to the global rosacea page with the below picture, & some girl identified it as her allergy to sweat. Not really sure that that's it, though no other options have presented themselves, since I am taking my sweet time making another doctor appointment.
The only other news is really about my fitness: I'm doing yoga arm balances after my upper body workouts on Mon & Wedn. Crane/crow I can still do, but really can only hold for 5-10 seconds. The upshot is that I've added some new ones, including the below. Again, can't really hold them for long (I will blame the 44 push-ups, 22 tricep push-ups, followed by an exhausting tabata on Mon & same core/plank one on Wedn) that precedes the yoga for at least part of my lack of endurance. But that SHOULD improve the more I practice.
So, aside from regular crow, which is the only arm balance I've not lost any ability to do:
Yay me!
First off, I've had the oddest outbreak of very small, painless, itchless, basically doing-nothing red dots all over my body. I suspect it's due to my rosacea, but really, I have no idea. I posted to the global rosacea page with the below picture, & some girl identified it as her allergy to sweat. Not really sure that that's it, though no other options have presented themselves, since I am taking my sweet time making another doctor appointment.
The only other news is really about my fitness: I'm doing yoga arm balances after my upper body workouts on Mon & Wedn. Crane/crow I can still do, but really can only hold for 5-10 seconds. The upshot is that I've added some new ones, including the below. Again, can't really hold them for long (I will blame the 44 push-ups, 22 tricep push-ups, followed by an exhausting tabata on Mon & same core/plank one on Wedn) that precedes the yoga for at least part of my lack of endurance. But that SHOULD improve the more I practice.
So, aside from regular crow, which is the only arm balance I've not lost any ability to do:
I've added the following:
Friday, June 16, 2017
OHHHHHHH, I GET IT NOW!
So got into an interesting discussion today. A friend is on vacation, having a fling, & wrote, "I want for nothing. Unless I catch feels & then that's the one time someone doesn't want me back." The girl who wrote this is of course a Millennial, because that's who uses that ridiculous phrase. It also the guiding philosophy of the 20-somethings age group, rather than something only men under the age of 80 practice. I replied that while their generation gives me hope because of their belief in universal healthcare & love of travel, I know humanity is still doomed because it's such an emotionally stunted way to live. I said I guessed it came from helicopter parenting, but whatever the cause of this problem is, at least they somehow developed empathy.
(What? Yes, of course this is how I talk to my friends. Why ever would you wonder?)
Another girl told me that was condescending (while my above summary certainly is, what I actually wrote was far less so). Interestingly, I learned how the helicopter parenting did bring this about, at least when you're looking solely for whose fault it is: after whining about why they shouldn't be blamed, it's the Gen Xers' fault they're this way, she wrote: Gen Xers raised us by being overbearing and constantly critiquing us aka "helicopter parenting". Gee I wonder why we don't want to form relationships?
& THAT'S when I got more of what my problem has been-- I've been wanting to date the 20-somethings because of aesthetics, but despite knowing how emotionally stunted they were, I was STILL hoping to have a relationship with them too. Even if it wasn't as deeply connected as I wanted, I still wanted SOMETHING. But this particular age group in general wants no relationships of any kind at all! How phenomenally clear & depressing! All this time when I was living by that whole, "age doesn't matter" thing, but in this case it really DOES!
It also helped explain the mistake I was making in the past, when I'd still be looking at American guys. Helicopter parenting & the generational stuff we always hear/read about is a distinctly American phenomenon. Stereotypes across generations in the rest of the world are different from those in America. So when I swore off American men earlier this year for good, this particular interchange bolstered the wisdom of my decision.
So look at that, way to poison my dating pool, peers!
Funny enough though, I was really struck by how important it was to this woman to place blame. In one of my yoga DVDs they say something that I found incredibly difficult, important, & true: "The traumas & troubles in our pasts may not be our fault, but they become our responsibility." Hopefully as they gain experience, the Millennials will gain that wisdom too.
(What? Yes, of course this is how I talk to my friends. Why ever would you wonder?)
Another girl told me that was condescending (while my above summary certainly is, what I actually wrote was far less so). Interestingly, I learned how the helicopter parenting did bring this about, at least when you're looking solely for whose fault it is: after whining about why they shouldn't be blamed, it's the Gen Xers' fault they're this way, she wrote: Gen Xers raised us by being overbearing and constantly critiquing us aka "helicopter parenting". Gee I wonder why we don't want to form relationships?
& THAT'S when I got more of what my problem has been-- I've been wanting to date the 20-somethings because of aesthetics, but despite knowing how emotionally stunted they were, I was STILL hoping to have a relationship with them too. Even if it wasn't as deeply connected as I wanted, I still wanted SOMETHING. But this particular age group in general wants no relationships of any kind at all! How phenomenally clear & depressing! All this time when I was living by that whole, "age doesn't matter" thing, but in this case it really DOES!
It also helped explain the mistake I was making in the past, when I'd still be looking at American guys. Helicopter parenting & the generational stuff we always hear/read about is a distinctly American phenomenon. Stereotypes across generations in the rest of the world are different from those in America. So when I swore off American men earlier this year for good, this particular interchange bolstered the wisdom of my decision.
So look at that, way to poison my dating pool, peers!
Funny enough though, I was really struck by how important it was to this woman to place blame. In one of my yoga DVDs they say something that I found incredibly difficult, important, & true: "The traumas & troubles in our pasts may not be our fault, but they become our responsibility." Hopefully as they gain experience, the Millennials will gain that wisdom too.
Friday, May 5, 2017
Before I came to Korea,
I thought I was going to be ALL ABOUT this watching people eat thing. But it's actually just weird. It doesn't help that to a Westerner like me, there is no graceful way to eat noodles with chopsticks. They show these on the bus, so you can end up watching even if you don't want to. &, it turns out, I kind of just don't want to.
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Monday, May 1, 2017
Back to the grindstone.
Today is my first day working out after 2 weeks off to give that damned shin plenty of rest. It wasn't hurting when I walked, so I'm walking home again. I'd be walking to school as well, if I could JUST get myself to get moving a little earlier. I need to be ready to leave about 10-15 minutes before I am these days. I'll just be doing low impact HIIT that's geared toward beginners, even just doing 20 secs on, 10 secs off instead of 50 on, 10 off. I'll likely do my kundalini yoga on Tues & Thurs, but will do this great warm up for shin splint yoga. After a workout focused on jabs or some punch/kick combos, the warm up to sitting on my heels, I could FINALLY sit on my heels! So hopefully another week committed to those stretches will get me even further. They still hurt when I initially get down there, but the fact that the pain subsides, whereas before IT SO DID NOT, that's progress.
The other grindstone I'm a bit uncertain/ambivalent about returning to is trying to see Ludwig again. In my previous post, Ludwig had missed our second date because he worked 'til 4 AM, forgot & fell asleep. That I could understand. He asked about the weekend, said maybe Friday, he'd let me know then. But I had wine night, so I suggested Saturday after 10. He said ok. & wine night was of course great because I know great people down here. Laura berated me for not coming for 4 months, which I KNOW is wrong, I know I'd been there at least once since December. But what matters is I saw everyone & was surprised & saddened a little but understanding that dear Laura and her boyfriend Dustin will leave... in February? Jesus how did I forget already? Sooner if not then, but not immediately. I think. Really sad when I think of it now. But the time had to come sometime.
Saturday I sent a text at 6:30 to see if Ludwig & I were still on. Went to the Bundang Social, where they of course can't fucking make a hamburger, but had good fries & cheap, if premixed, drinks. Bartender was a great guy, as was some other guy I started talking to because he & I were the only ones who showed up 10 minutes early. I marveled at his ability to keep the conversation going. But soon enough his friends came & no one else was really mingling, so I left.
Ludwig didn't check nor respond to the message I sent until 11:30. He said he was sorry, he doesn't have notifications on for kakao. Wanted to know where I was. Waited 7 minutes, then sent a ?. Interesting, since I was curious AS HELL about where HE was all that time! Also wasn't really buying he didn't know he had a message because he checked snapchat like 4 times on our first date. Maybe without notifications the messages don't show up on your screen, but the thing is... CHECK! You know you made plans for that night, so you check your messages to see what's going on there. Unless, you know, you forgot. I replied at 2 that I was out, since he didn't respond I figured he'd forgotten, & there was no need for me to cut my night short for that.
Yesterday, brunch was delightful, discovered that one of the girls from burlesque is as bitter & good at said bitterness as I am, & yet she has this Mercedes-like skill of finding sales items, & having majored in fashion, likewise knows what does & doesn't work. She offers sewing classes too, so she will I believe be able to fix the French maid top that was made to fit Chinese girls, not me.
Ludwig asked about last night yesterday, I said wasn't sure, he forgets all our plans anyway so I'm not sure he really wants to meet me. I said I'd let him know, & didn't text back.
Predictably, he got in touch to ask when he'd meet me. I said I wasn't sure he would since he couldn't remember. I told him he shouldn't need messages to remember we have plans. I told him I'm not sure what to think: his inability to remember tells me he's not interested, but he keeps sending messages, which he doesn't have to do.
I think now of Deborah Clair, because it's always good to think of my girl, but also because she said she wants to read my blog but so many words! Ludwig is succinct (if misspelled) where I just am not: "Yes i want but the last week i was not sur little busy/ You want thursday? Im sur".
Thursday. Not Wednesday or Friday, which are holidays. Not tomorrow, when my middle school girls have their exams so I'll likely leave work tomorrow at 7 or so (except to stay & work on speaking contests). Thursday. Friday I'm getting drinks with Jess & whomever else at my fav cocktail bar, & possibly brunch again Sunday, who knows? We'll see.
Jorge was busy this weekend & other than having an uncanny ability to text when I'm busy & then when I remember is sleeping so I can't return the text, I still have to tell him I just want to be friends but not sure how.
But that's for another time, I have to be at the US Embassy tomorrow at 10:15 (😫) to see the only notary in town for credit card stuff.
Last bit of news: have to see if Sue will give me my severance this summer, or give it all when I leave the school. The latter is what a new law states, but I can't afford to fly home without it. We'll see what she says tomorrow. I hope. Or Thurs? Sucks that I have to go in: about 1/2 the schools are giving people Thurs & next Monday off because voting day is next Tues, so it's a nice LONNNNG weekend for some. I'm among the other half who were not so lucky. Well, at least I like work, so I don't resent it too much. Updates when I have them.
The other grindstone I'm a bit uncertain/ambivalent about returning to is trying to see Ludwig again. In my previous post, Ludwig had missed our second date because he worked 'til 4 AM, forgot & fell asleep. That I could understand. He asked about the weekend, said maybe Friday, he'd let me know then. But I had wine night, so I suggested Saturday after 10. He said ok. & wine night was of course great because I know great people down here. Laura berated me for not coming for 4 months, which I KNOW is wrong, I know I'd been there at least once since December. But what matters is I saw everyone & was surprised & saddened a little but understanding that dear Laura and her boyfriend Dustin will leave... in February? Jesus how did I forget already? Sooner if not then, but not immediately. I think. Really sad when I think of it now. But the time had to come sometime.
Saturday I sent a text at 6:30 to see if Ludwig & I were still on. Went to the Bundang Social, where they of course can't fucking make a hamburger, but had good fries & cheap, if premixed, drinks. Bartender was a great guy, as was some other guy I started talking to because he & I were the only ones who showed up 10 minutes early. I marveled at his ability to keep the conversation going. But soon enough his friends came & no one else was really mingling, so I left.
Ludwig didn't check nor respond to the message I sent until 11:30. He said he was sorry, he doesn't have notifications on for kakao. Wanted to know where I was. Waited 7 minutes, then sent a ?. Interesting, since I was curious AS HELL about where HE was all that time! Also wasn't really buying he didn't know he had a message because he checked snapchat like 4 times on our first date. Maybe without notifications the messages don't show up on your screen, but the thing is... CHECK! You know you made plans for that night, so you check your messages to see what's going on there. Unless, you know, you forgot. I replied at 2 that I was out, since he didn't respond I figured he'd forgotten, & there was no need for me to cut my night short for that.
Yesterday, brunch was delightful, discovered that one of the girls from burlesque is as bitter & good at said bitterness as I am, & yet she has this Mercedes-like skill of finding sales items, & having majored in fashion, likewise knows what does & doesn't work. She offers sewing classes too, so she will I believe be able to fix the French maid top that was made to fit Chinese girls, not me.
Ludwig asked about last night yesterday, I said wasn't sure, he forgets all our plans anyway so I'm not sure he really wants to meet me. I said I'd let him know, & didn't text back.
Predictably, he got in touch to ask when he'd meet me. I said I wasn't sure he would since he couldn't remember. I told him he shouldn't need messages to remember we have plans. I told him I'm not sure what to think: his inability to remember tells me he's not interested, but he keeps sending messages, which he doesn't have to do.
I think now of Deborah Clair, because it's always good to think of my girl, but also because she said she wants to read my blog but so many words! Ludwig is succinct (if misspelled) where I just am not: "Yes i want but the last week i was not sur little busy/ You want thursday? Im sur".
Thursday. Not Wednesday or Friday, which are holidays. Not tomorrow, when my middle school girls have their exams so I'll likely leave work tomorrow at 7 or so (except to stay & work on speaking contests). Thursday. Friday I'm getting drinks with Jess & whomever else at my fav cocktail bar, & possibly brunch again Sunday, who knows? We'll see.
Jorge was busy this weekend & other than having an uncanny ability to text when I'm busy & then when I remember is sleeping so I can't return the text, I still have to tell him I just want to be friends but not sure how.
But that's for another time, I have to be at the US Embassy tomorrow at 10:15 (😫) to see the only notary in town for credit card stuff.
Last bit of news: have to see if Sue will give me my severance this summer, or give it all when I leave the school. The latter is what a new law states, but I can't afford to fly home without it. We'll see what she says tomorrow. I hope. Or Thurs? Sucks that I have to go in: about 1/2 the schools are giving people Thurs & next Monday off because voting day is next Tues, so it's a nice LONNNNG weekend for some. I'm among the other half who were not so lucky. Well, at least I like work, so I don't resent it too much. Updates when I have them.
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Got a pencil & paper?
Because my life requires a score card these days.
Initially, this was because my "love life" required one. There is Nasir, a very polite guy who's actually my age, though only 2 hello messages offline. There's Simohamed, a Moroccan with whom I've been corresponding just a little over facebook for MONTHS, though finally realized the reason he wouldn't set up a date is because his English is too low. Then there's Andrew, who seemed nice, but had no pictures, &, well... you know that won't fly. I gave him my what's app info & we even talked on the phone for a bit, but ultimately I have no idea if we have much or anything in common, including mutual attraction, & he hasn't responded to my message that said just that.
And now we are entering the lightning round, which thankfully only has 2 people: Jorge & Ludwig. Yes. I actually typed the name Ludwig. That is actually someone's name.
Jorge is, again, through some freak of fate, just a few years younger than me. He's in the military, writes like an American, though his accent is thick. Couldn't tell you where... I'm guessing Mexico. He's getting his Masters in engineering, though was already working in the private sector before he joined. He's nice, weirdly (to me, because I just don't encounter it. Ever) open with his feelings. Before we met he said, "Maybe I just really like you & want to see you." Then after we met is all, "when can I see you again?" Good guy... except for that whole not all that attractive thing. Thanks to his desperation to meet me & the fact that he had a big bottle of wine he needed help with, he came over last Thurs night. The wine, sadly, was Gallo, & even WORSE, moscato. It wasn't great, but I still drank a bit. He was plastered, & there was lame drunk sex which I should have just declined, but didn't. So that added an extra dimension of, this-is-not-helping-me-go-for-the-nice-guy over my usual.
At the same time, I had just started chatting with Ludwig, who is, wait for it... a French model. That is his actual job. He's in Seoul for 2 months shooting for.. something, who knows what. The FUNNY thing is, & I could NOT explain it, but I just didn't feel any sense of urgency to meet him initially. At all. If ever. We started chatting on a Sunday night, at around 10 o'clock, & he wanted to come over then. I rolled my eyes & said that night just wasn't going to work, period. In the past, that's usually sufficient for the ridiculously hot guys to decide they have other chicks to chase who have much more accommodating schedules & that's that. Instead, he said to let him know when worked for me. We ended up settling on 7 PM this past Sunday.
We confirmed that time & day the day before, plus the day of... but I STILL SOMEHOW managed in my head to turn that into I had to LEAVE at 7 PM. I didn't realize my sheer idiocy until he texted to tell me which exit he was at. FUUUUUUUCK. Well, suffice it to say I was horrified, terribly upset, b/c I was at least an hour away (& of course him being French, he thinks a 30 minute cab drive is VERY FAR). I asked if he could wait for me & he said he would. I kept a French model waiting. Who'd have thought?
Unsurprisingly, he is incredibly, amazingly good looking, with a truly perfect build. We walked around a park, & made out in said park. After about 2 hours, we decided we should get on our ways, but made plans for him to come to my place tonight, actually. No requests for my address to give the cab driver (like THAT would help in this fuck show where they likewise think an apartment 30 minutes away is too far), & no reply to my message asking if tonight was still ok. Given what I'd gleaned from him, there were 2 options: he fell asleep; or he had flaked on me & it wasn't my problem. Sure enough, at 9:30 he texted that he forgot and fell asleep b/c he worked until 4 AM. I said ok, another time. He said maybe this weekend. *I* stupidly said Saturday night was the only time I couldn't, so he told me maybe tomorrow night, & he'll tell me tomorrow.
Terrific. I either will have a nice, quiet Friday night to myself, or a night with a French model with little knowledge beforehand.
Suffice it to say, Ludwig is especially bad for Jorge, given that he's... a great kisser & a French fucking model. Who for reasons I still can't fully grasp or accept, wants to see me, even if it means he has to wait, or my idiocy or his work hours come up as obstacles. Jason isn't loving his "maybe, I'll tell you then." It does leave something to be desired, but meh. It's good for now. & unfortunately, more interesting than my wanna-be boyfriend, Jorge.
Initially, this was because my "love life" required one. There is Nasir, a very polite guy who's actually my age, though only 2 hello messages offline. There's Simohamed, a Moroccan with whom I've been corresponding just a little over facebook for MONTHS, though finally realized the reason he wouldn't set up a date is because his English is too low. Then there's Andrew, who seemed nice, but had no pictures, &, well... you know that won't fly. I gave him my what's app info & we even talked on the phone for a bit, but ultimately I have no idea if we have much or anything in common, including mutual attraction, & he hasn't responded to my message that said just that.
And now we are entering the lightning round, which thankfully only has 2 people: Jorge & Ludwig. Yes. I actually typed the name Ludwig. That is actually someone's name.
Jorge is, again, through some freak of fate, just a few years younger than me. He's in the military, writes like an American, though his accent is thick. Couldn't tell you where... I'm guessing Mexico. He's getting his Masters in engineering, though was already working in the private sector before he joined. He's nice, weirdly (to me, because I just don't encounter it. Ever) open with his feelings. Before we met he said, "Maybe I just really like you & want to see you." Then after we met is all, "when can I see you again?" Good guy... except for that whole not all that attractive thing. Thanks to his desperation to meet me & the fact that he had a big bottle of wine he needed help with, he came over last Thurs night. The wine, sadly, was Gallo, & even WORSE, moscato. It wasn't great, but I still drank a bit. He was plastered, & there was lame drunk sex which I should have just declined, but didn't. So that added an extra dimension of, this-is-not-helping-me-go-for-the-nice-guy over my usual.
At the same time, I had just started chatting with Ludwig, who is, wait for it... a French model. That is his actual job. He's in Seoul for 2 months shooting for.. something, who knows what. The FUNNY thing is, & I could NOT explain it, but I just didn't feel any sense of urgency to meet him initially. At all. If ever. We started chatting on a Sunday night, at around 10 o'clock, & he wanted to come over then. I rolled my eyes & said that night just wasn't going to work, period. In the past, that's usually sufficient for the ridiculously hot guys to decide they have other chicks to chase who have much more accommodating schedules & that's that. Instead, he said to let him know when worked for me. We ended up settling on 7 PM this past Sunday.
We confirmed that time & day the day before, plus the day of... but I STILL SOMEHOW managed in my head to turn that into I had to LEAVE at 7 PM. I didn't realize my sheer idiocy until he texted to tell me which exit he was at. FUUUUUUUCK. Well, suffice it to say I was horrified, terribly upset, b/c I was at least an hour away (& of course him being French, he thinks a 30 minute cab drive is VERY FAR). I asked if he could wait for me & he said he would. I kept a French model waiting. Who'd have thought?
Unsurprisingly, he is incredibly, amazingly good looking, with a truly perfect build. We walked around a park, & made out in said park. After about 2 hours, we decided we should get on our ways, but made plans for him to come to my place tonight, actually. No requests for my address to give the cab driver (like THAT would help in this fuck show where they likewise think an apartment 30 minutes away is too far), & no reply to my message asking if tonight was still ok. Given what I'd gleaned from him, there were 2 options: he fell asleep; or he had flaked on me & it wasn't my problem. Sure enough, at 9:30 he texted that he forgot and fell asleep b/c he worked until 4 AM. I said ok, another time. He said maybe this weekend. *I* stupidly said Saturday night was the only time I couldn't, so he told me maybe tomorrow night, & he'll tell me tomorrow.
Terrific. I either will have a nice, quiet Friday night to myself, or a night with a French model with little knowledge beforehand.
Suffice it to say, Ludwig is especially bad for Jorge, given that he's... a great kisser & a French fucking model. Who for reasons I still can't fully grasp or accept, wants to see me, even if it means he has to wait, or my idiocy or his work hours come up as obstacles. Jason isn't loving his "maybe, I'll tell you then." It does leave something to be desired, but meh. It's good for now. & unfortunately, more interesting than my wanna-be boyfriend, Jorge.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
The OTHER news.
I've known I'd need to stay in Korea for at least another year. My only decision was whether I'd stay at my school, which I really like, or try to get into a school down in Bundang, because that's where all my friends live. (Anyang isn't far by US standards, but it is by... everyone else's, particularly the public transport's, which stops running at 11:45- midnight because Seoul made a deal with the taxi drivers. And while it's only about $25 or so to my place from Seoul, somehow it's $35-$40 from Bundang.)
In the end, I decided it's better to stay where I know the people and school are good. I love the kids, the teachers are, with one exception, great. I have a good apartment, especially for one I didn't have to hunt down & arrange the housing allowance for.
Sue pulled me aside last week to ask what my plans were since my contract is up in July. When I told her I wanted to stay, she said, "You want to stay with me? Even with air pollution and crazy Trump and North Korea?" She hugged me, & I'll get an extra $100/month.
I ended up feeling even better about my decision when I was talking to my friends down in Bundang, and they were saying there aren't many jobs except bad ones there now because of the high competition to teach there. So no new learning curve next year!
The only other thing to add is I was surprised on Sunday with an invitation to Easter dinner with my friends Korelia and Simon. They'd been posting the baking that, well, Simon was doing the night before on fb. I guess they decided at the last minute to have more than just the 2 of them. I was not only honored to be one of the two guests they invited (and only have room for), but to my COMPLETE surprise and delight, they made the whole main dish paleo!! Roasted chicken with apples and cabbage and the, to me, show-stopping spiced squash. Dessert was almond apple pudding-- funnily enough I didn't eat the digestive biscuit crust, only to wisely I MUST say agree to try the hot crossed buns, which I'd never had before, and they were just great. So while I'm sadly no closer to my friends, I'll still be here another year not far from all the great people I've met.
Only other update is, what with my ENT guy's office being mysteriously closed for at least a week due to a traffic accident he's guilty of (? courtesy google translate), I tried the clinic down the street from my building. I'd say Dylan exaggerated that doctor's English a bit, but she prescribed... something. Probably exactly what my ENT guy did.
I also went to see if I could make sure the shin is just sprained rather than fractured. This got off to a rough start because the family clinic's nurses pointed up & held up 6 fingers for my leg. Going up to the 6th floor brought me to English underneath the Korean which told me I was at a coloproctology clinic. Not entirely sure what that was, though the proctology part seemed particularly NOT what I needed.
I got back on the elevator & went up & down, waiting for google translate's camera to decide that it COULD handle the signs in the elevator. Not sure who helped the 6th floor clinic with their translating, because google assured me that clinic's name had orthopedic in it.
Naturally I couldn't figure out where to put my phone number or address on the ubiquitous slips of personal info clinics have, particularly since google translate was once again not up to the task of translating.
This doctor seemed more comfortable with English, but I was still so frazzled by trying to explain problems and write in Hangul and read shit that doesn't mean anything that after telling him I think I had a sprain (note: shin splint, not surprisingly, doesn't translate), that when he asked if my shin, which looked completely fine & hurt very little (as opposed to the past 4 days, including when my shin actually WAS inflamed and swollen on Sunday night) had had direct contact, I just said yes. He felt it & said there wasn't a fracture, good news, & seemingly obvious now with the swelling & inflammation gone, but we were all of the decision on Sunday I needed to see a doctor about it right away. He declared it a contusion, but the ice pack and electromagnetic massage he prescribed was helpful.
I think that the 35 minute walk home is a bit too much for it right now, so I guess totally resting it before resuming mobility like a normal human being will be required for a bit.
So I guess shin splints really are JUST that fucking painful, & that walking as much as usual will result in the shin becoming swollen and inflamed. I suppose it's good to know, even if I'd preferred never having to have any idea about any of this at all.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
The odd end.
That's really all there is to it, because the internet clearly finds it odd that I have this injury, as it keeps telling me that my being a runner makes me so susceptible to it. Shin splits, pecifically & only on my left. It is PAAAAAAINFUL as a motherfucker. I didn't even DO my HIIT workout this week!
Apparently, aside from running, I could have incurred mine from inadequate shoe support, which makes a LITTLE sense since I've been doing my plyo/HIIT workouts barefoot. It's only twice/week! In any event, that's what I suspect did it. HOW that could have done it when I do some yoga stretching everyday, including down dog, and my calves have NEVER felt tight, the left one is just SOO pissed off.
It started Thursday. I feel it mainly when I'm walking. Funny: it says walking is good exercise for it, but every step hurts. Today the 10 minute walk to the bus stop almost had me limping. I saw that some shin splints are from fractures. I cannot FATHOM how I could have done THAT, but I'm thinking next week when I go see a doctor (my ENT guy's office was dramatically closed last Tuesday until this Tuesday, because he was guilty of a car accident... ?!?! God I hope the guy's ok, but wtf happened that he's out for a week due to guilt?) that maybe I'll see if GP can determine if it's that or will respond to stretching.
ALSO funny that yesterday after walking home from work, 35 minutes or so, this 12 or so minute yoga sequence for shin splints felt rather good on it, but today, it was torture.
The only other news is I was a bit duped by a student. Bill is a good kid, he was absent a bit, failed many vocabulary tests, but did ok in the book. Friday when I had them checking all of their unfinished workbook homework, Bill said that he unaccountably found a new, blank workbook in his book bag, which of course isn't his because nothing is done.
Welllll, ok, actually, I didn't so much believe him as express momentary surprise & tell him to look very carefully at home for his real one, since he has to complete the missing parts for homework. So I just kept telling him to look carefully because it's not going to be fun to have to do all twelve units this weekend, but mostly I was just trying to keep a lid on the otherwise slightly crazy class.
I hadn't given much thought to it's probability until I came to the teacher's lounge after class to tell his Korean homeroom teacher, and Dylan walked in & burst out laughing about what tremendous bull shit THAT was. Ahhhh, yes, it is, I thought then. Poor Bill. What a long weekend.
Apparently, aside from running, I could have incurred mine from inadequate shoe support, which makes a LITTLE sense since I've been doing my plyo/HIIT workouts barefoot. It's only twice/week! In any event, that's what I suspect did it. HOW that could have done it when I do some yoga stretching everyday, including down dog, and my calves have NEVER felt tight, the left one is just SOO pissed off.
It started Thursday. I feel it mainly when I'm walking. Funny: it says walking is good exercise for it, but every step hurts. Today the 10 minute walk to the bus stop almost had me limping. I saw that some shin splints are from fractures. I cannot FATHOM how I could have done THAT, but I'm thinking next week when I go see a doctor (my ENT guy's office was dramatically closed last Tuesday until this Tuesday, because he was guilty of a car accident... ?!?! God I hope the guy's ok, but wtf happened that he's out for a week due to guilt?) that maybe I'll see if GP can determine if it's that or will respond to stretching.
ALSO funny that yesterday after walking home from work, 35 minutes or so, this 12 or so minute yoga sequence for shin splints felt rather good on it, but today, it was torture.
The only other news is I was a bit duped by a student. Bill is a good kid, he was absent a bit, failed many vocabulary tests, but did ok in the book. Friday when I had them checking all of their unfinished workbook homework, Bill said that he unaccountably found a new, blank workbook in his book bag, which of course isn't his because nothing is done.
Welllll, ok, actually, I didn't so much believe him as express momentary surprise & tell him to look very carefully at home for his real one, since he has to complete the missing parts for homework. So I just kept telling him to look carefully because it's not going to be fun to have to do all twelve units this weekend, but mostly I was just trying to keep a lid on the otherwise slightly crazy class.
I hadn't given much thought to it's probability until I came to the teacher's lounge after class to tell his Korean homeroom teacher, and Dylan walked in & burst out laughing about what tremendous bull shit THAT was. Ahhhh, yes, it is, I thought then. Poor Bill. What a long weekend.
Sunday, April 9, 2017
When the punishment doesn't turn out how you expected it would.
One thing I've learned since starting this whole teaching elementary-to-middle-school age range that writing is a punishment. They'll write in their books of course, however much they're supposed to, but if you give them EXTRA writing for homework, THAT'S when kids associate writing as the result of doing something wrong.
I have a class of 3 middle school boys whom I just love: Jay, Roy, & Leo. I think every teacher who has them loves them-- I know Jennifer the Korean teacher has come back from their class talking about how funny they are. And they are, even though they're doing pretty much all of their joking in Korean. But hey, this is English class, so I usually start insisting on English.
One day, Jay & Roy were talking about a rapper and farting because, of course they were, they're males, and the male sense of humor for the majority reached maturity at 8 years old. Still, being a woman, plus having a brain means it really doesn't register how these 2 things can be laughter-inducing for over an hour. There must be other stuff being said.
& because I know these kids are capable of being silly and talking in English, I tried my usual punishment on Jay & Roy when it felt like they just weren't listening to me at all. They were to write down everything they'd said the past 5 minutes, & then their homework would be to translate it. I figured this last part would be the real punishment, although Jay kept saying he couldn't remember anything he had just said, including what he'd say in Korean at that moment to Roy. I know google translate is a mess, but it's a start.
To my great surprise, both boys translated their short paragraphs in maybe 5 minutes. And lo & behold, it was no different than the summary they'd given before. Except for my personal favorite part, where Roy interrupts himself when talking to Jay & Leo to apologize to me... in Korean. (Also note that Jay is guilty of the Korean speaker's inability to distinguish between L & R.
Jay
The video is very fun! Ha Ha. How can the lap appear? Ha Ha. He has brave "Hello, I will take fart. Ha. There is [he actually drew a rectangle here] Maybe He spent a lot of time to make the lap. Then, there was a funny happens. All of students laughed. ' 산이 [or 산디, I can't tell which the last is]' said good words for him.
Roy
Check! I'm the Korean the top class Hip pop nobless... hahaha! That rap is so fun! haha I don't know the lyrics, but it is so funny, haha! Check I'm the Korean the top class... sorry! teacher. You see the Ujin Kim's prank? That is so fun! haha. You know tail shin's rap? That's BGM is so good.
I have a class of 3 middle school boys whom I just love: Jay, Roy, & Leo. I think every teacher who has them loves them-- I know Jennifer the Korean teacher has come back from their class talking about how funny they are. And they are, even though they're doing pretty much all of their joking in Korean. But hey, this is English class, so I usually start insisting on English.
One day, Jay & Roy were talking about a rapper and farting because, of course they were, they're males, and the male sense of humor for the majority reached maturity at 8 years old. Still, being a woman, plus having a brain means it really doesn't register how these 2 things can be laughter-inducing for over an hour. There must be other stuff being said.
& because I know these kids are capable of being silly and talking in English, I tried my usual punishment on Jay & Roy when it felt like they just weren't listening to me at all. They were to write down everything they'd said the past 5 minutes, & then their homework would be to translate it. I figured this last part would be the real punishment, although Jay kept saying he couldn't remember anything he had just said, including what he'd say in Korean at that moment to Roy. I know google translate is a mess, but it's a start.
To my great surprise, both boys translated their short paragraphs in maybe 5 minutes. And lo & behold, it was no different than the summary they'd given before. Except for my personal favorite part, where Roy interrupts himself when talking to Jay & Leo to apologize to me... in Korean. (Also note that Jay is guilty of the Korean speaker's inability to distinguish between L & R.
Jay
The video is very fun! Ha Ha. How can the lap appear? Ha Ha. He has brave "Hello, I will take fart. Ha. There is [he actually drew a rectangle here] Maybe He spent a lot of time to make the lap. Then, there was a funny happens. All of students laughed. ' 산이 [or 산디, I can't tell which the last is]' said good words for him.
Roy
Check! I'm the Korean the top class Hip pop nobless... hahaha! That rap is so fun! haha I don't know the lyrics, but it is so funny, haha! Check I'm the Korean the top class... sorry! teacher. You see the Ujin Kim's prank? That is so fun! haha. You know tail shin's rap? That's BGM is so good.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
At least for today, it's on.
For those who somehow don't know, today's average guy is less intelligent, uglier, fatter, balder, romantic, and worthy of much attention than ever before. But that doesn't stop them from sending one-word messages to 20 women at a time and seeing who responds. Today, I just felt like not letting them get away that.
Lori-Jaide may recall the last time I didn't let a guy get away with being an ass online. This isn't completely scathing, but I flatter myself to say it is at least entertaining. To me, at least.
James had the misfortune to just write, "Hi". From here on out, conversations will be color-coded, with my font being in a different color, since my responses are brimming with more life than theirs:
Ahhh, I see you belong to the group of people who think one word leaves SO. MANY. OPENINGS for conversation! Will they respond, and if so, how? What zany or fun or mundane topics will it lead to?? More than likely though, in the TL;DR world, you just thought you'd say hi. So hi!
Hello
😄
Welll, hey, at least you're well-acquainted with the shift key. Proper capitalization is important, even if, apparently, punctuation isn't!
So you've graduated from one, 2-letter word to one, 5-letter word and a picture. We're making progress! In a couple days, we could have you at picture-book level writing! 😄
Omer wrote, "Hi," so I responded:
Lucky you, you caught me on the ONE DAY that I've decided to strike back at every one-word, not-specific-to-my-profile or anyone with some stream of consciousness. Currently I'm figuring out where to start on updating my blog. I had my premier at a burlesque show to write about, the funny translations 2 of my students had to write of their funny conversation while talking in my English class in Korean, the 3 Italians I've met since being here in Korea, the last 2 being complicated in ways I could NEVER have predicted. Plus, why I said double for an espresso at the cafe when a single was offered and I knew that would be the better choice for me. I REALLY should get prepping to cook my meals for this week, but I just want to sit and not do that or much of anything else. So here I sit, drowning strangers in words to counteract the malaise of the typical male who thinks blanketing several women with one-word messages is a lottery he can win!
All I've got for this guy is his username, moonrisewolf who wrote, "Hi there"
God, I feel like I've had this conversation before. Where have I seen-- OH YEAH!! EVERY. OTHER. GUY. EVERYWHERE. You have no profile, and didn't read mine, nor I'd say the other 20 women you sent this to.
I give him surprising credit for responding: "hahaha sooo true" and, "also, i would like to see how you start a conversation to new people without saying hey hi hello how are you."
Afraid I can't do that, slick, I've got stuff to do. If I ever open up an advising service to men who can't figure out read, then write about what you read, you'll be the first to know!
Anymore to report, I'll be sure to update you. I'll leave you with this EXCELLENT meme related to the pitfalls of online dating:
Lori-Jaide may recall the last time I didn't let a guy get away with being an ass online. This isn't completely scathing, but I flatter myself to say it is at least entertaining. To me, at least.
James had the misfortune to just write, "Hi". From here on out, conversations will be color-coded, with my font being in a different color, since my responses are brimming with more life than theirs:
Ahhh, I see you belong to the group of people who think one word leaves SO. MANY. OPENINGS for conversation! Will they respond, and if so, how? What zany or fun or mundane topics will it lead to?? More than likely though, in the TL;DR world, you just thought you'd say hi. So hi!
Hello
😄
Welll, hey, at least you're well-acquainted with the shift key. Proper capitalization is important, even if, apparently, punctuation isn't!
So you've graduated from one, 2-letter word to one, 5-letter word and a picture. We're making progress! In a couple days, we could have you at picture-book level writing! 😄
Omer wrote, "Hi," so I responded:
Lucky you, you caught me on the ONE DAY that I've decided to strike back at every one-word, not-specific-to-my-profile or anyone with some stream of consciousness. Currently I'm figuring out where to start on updating my blog. I had my premier at a burlesque show to write about, the funny translations 2 of my students had to write of their funny conversation while talking in my English class in Korean, the 3 Italians I've met since being here in Korea, the last 2 being complicated in ways I could NEVER have predicted. Plus, why I said double for an espresso at the cafe when a single was offered and I knew that would be the better choice for me. I REALLY should get prepping to cook my meals for this week, but I just want to sit and not do that or much of anything else. So here I sit, drowning strangers in words to counteract the malaise of the typical male who thinks blanketing several women with one-word messages is a lottery he can win!
All I've got for this guy is his username, moonrisewolf who wrote, "Hi there"
God, I feel like I've had this conversation before. Where have I seen-- OH YEAH!! EVERY. OTHER. GUY. EVERYWHERE. You have no profile, and didn't read mine, nor I'd say the other 20 women you sent this to.
I give him surprising credit for responding: "hahaha sooo true" and, "also, i would like to see how you start a conversation to new people without saying hey hi hello how are you."
Afraid I can't do that, slick, I've got stuff to do. If I ever open up an advising service to men who can't figure out read, then write about what you read, you'll be the first to know!
Anymore to report, I'll be sure to update you. I'll leave you with this EXCELLENT meme related to the pitfalls of online dating:
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Ok. Here's the situation.
Jerry always did call me a shameless hussy. It't time to act like one.
My friend Dani here joined a burlesque group. She was a ballet dancer and a stripper years ago. I've never seen her dance, and their group was going to some town I've certainly never heard of. She got a hotel room, & invited me to join. It was expensive (106,000 round trip), 2.5 hours away, and it turns out on the Sea of Japan (with what really sometimes looked like a pirate ship. There were fireworks that night over the water, too)
and has, I should have known, a military base. The hotel was great, she got the nicest room, so we had a view of the sea,
a living room, a bathtub (no time to use,
) A HEATED TOILET SEAT WHICH IS THE BEST THING EVER, plus of course a bidet. The bar where they were performing, Tilt, was owned by a Korean American, which I discovered that night, relies on the best looking military base I've ever seen for business. He also DOES NOT make his burgers or fries with fucking sugar, which is an abomination unto God and everything on Earth. I ordered 2 burgers to start, which came out with cheese and bacon, fries, REAL dill pickles (they're usually all sweet here, because of course they are), fries AND onion rings. Later, the owner kept bringing us chicken wings and nachos. Finally, all that yoga and kindness to a stranger on a train before Aaron left is paying off! (Oh, did I mention he left Korea last Wednesday? I saw him the weekend before, and on my way back, I was sitting next to the doors when I heard some sound. I looked over to find an American soldier kneeling on the floor directly in front of the doors, sobbing. The Koreans all looked a bit uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to just stay out of it, but I was the only person on that train who spoke English I'm sure, and I couldn't NOT do something. God knows people have been kind to me when I was in distress. I asked him if something was wrong, and he told me he'd just found out his wife is cheating on him. God damn. What do you say to that? I got up, took his hand, stood him up, offered him my seat. He said no, so I moved him out of the doors and held him. The poor boy, and he was a boy, sobbed and squeezed me. My heart just broke for him. I talked to him, made him laugh a few times too, asked where he was going. He said his base was at Suwon. So I talked to him until Suwon. I asked if he wanted me to go with him, help him get to base, take him out for drinks because I had nowhere to be. He said no... and actually he needed Seryu, which was the stop before Suwon. He said he'd be fine going back the one stop. I should have just gotten off with him, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone. His wife is home, and I guess he was talking to a friend who's going through a tough time & solider boy is trying to help this guy out from abroad, and that guy told him he & soldier's wife were sleeping together. I was heartbroken for him the rest of the day. I hope to God he got back ok, just one stop on the train but still, they can be confusing since lots of states don't have public transport, and he was so upset.) To add fucking awesomeness to the WHOLE deal, the owner gave us FREE food and drinks, unlimited, all night. That is ON TOP OF sending us a whole bottle of Bombay gin. Because the universe was SHOWING ME SOME SWEET SWEET LOVE.
My friend Dani here joined a burlesque group. She was a ballet dancer and a stripper years ago. I've never seen her dance, and their group was going to some town I've certainly never heard of. She got a hotel room, & invited me to join. It was expensive (106,000 round trip), 2.5 hours away, and it turns out on the Sea of Japan (with what really sometimes looked like a pirate ship. There were fireworks that night over the water, too)
and has, I should have known, a military base. The hotel was great, she got the nicest room, so we had a view of the sea,
a living room, a bathtub (no time to use,
The group realized that they needed someone at the door to collect money. I was the only one there not performing, so I volunteered. I stood next to the stage, so I could still watch. The show was great. Dani was AMAZING, God damn could she move. The guys were very enthusiastic, lol, and bought the girls ever more drinks, lol. I got hit on by a drunk guy, who kept pointing to the back where all the guys are watching, saying, "See that guy?" Yeah dude. Totally. He asked my name, told me his was Marco, asked if i was performing, asked me why not. Wanted me to hangout with him next weekend, then asked my name again. "it's Jennifer, Marco." And of course he thought I was his age, 27. Another guy thought Dani & I were both 30. Heeey, kind of aging in a loop, literally, eh?
After the show, the girls were mingling, and there was a table of girls interested in doing burlesque. 1 of them was this gorgeous girl, and she kept also teling me I should perform. Ah yes, actually, I let her in with less money at the door that she said she'd pay back later, and she did, and we talked, she had demanded I perform, and said she was going to start screaming my name to get me up there. She never did, but she made me come dance with her a few times too. Kept telling me how beautiful I was, so a nice mutual admiration society.
The burlesque girls are great too. We all know I couldn't care less about people seeing me naked, and my vanity would love a bigger, live audience. And I still look good, if not as I did during P90X. BUT. We ALLLLL know I CANNOT dance, act, flirt with a bunch of people, strip seductively, none of that. One of the dancers doesn't actually strip, she just wore a 1 piece bathing suit covered in balloons people popped with sparklers. She said I don't have to do any dancing, etc, I can be a bored bitch if that's what I want. I still don't know if I could do that on an actual stage in front of lots of people. Yet. But what I COULD do to start is wear a little costume & be a "kitten," a person who cleans up the stage between performances & puts up props. They need one too, apparently. I was thinking French maid of course. Any other ideas? Stage names? Opinions? I'm really excited actually.
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