I'm so fucking angry at myself right now.

It's allergy season, so my nose is dripping, running, my throat's a little peeved. I woke up early to go to Costco, so was really tired today. By the end of the day, day one of my period too which sooo doesn't help, I felt really tired & run down, plus my allergy symptoms, I was wondering/am wondering if I'm catching something. Today was supposed to be super hard leg tabata. Decided to just do some leg yoga, just 35 minutes, so I'd still get something done, but not push too hard just in case. I wavered back & forth on doing it, but just went ahead.

I was maybe 5 minutes in when we stood on our right legs, left ankle rest on right quad, & you sit back, which stretches the left IT band, hip & glute. Especially mine b/c it's tighter. She said sit a little lower, even though I could feel it, I did, & heard a popping/crackly sound @ the same time I felt slightest pain or discomfort.

I immediately stopped & started freaking out because this is exactly what happened when I hurt the other knee probably 10 years ago. Well maybe not exactly but pretty fucking close. & I WAS DOING THE EXACT SAME GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING STRETCH. I'm so PISSED if I fucked up the other knee. It took months for the doctor to let me do anything again. My fitness went to crap, my thigh never recovered because it's still weaker than the left.... It only SLIGHTLY, SLIGHTLYSLIGHTLYSLIGHTLY hurts. I really hope that girl that I saw last time can get me in & that I'm fucking wrong.

Thing is, when I went to see her, it's because I was feeling pain in my knee/leg DOING THIS SAME STRETCH. She said no one should EVER stretch that way, & I stopped, but then would still do it standing in yoga BECAUSE IT'S YOGA.

I'm so deeply unhappy now. I'm not tired anymore, but I'm so really unhappy, not hungry, don't want to go to bed & sleep, don't want do anything, I'm just so fucking upset about this.

But unfortunately I have to do dishes, get lunch ready, shower, get to sleep so I can get up & go to brunch @ a sushi/seafood place because I STUPIDLY told Anna I can do sushi. Wanna bet fucking Korea's never heard of sushimi/sauteed NOT breaded & fried fish? I'm willing to take that bet. So that my longer day can get EVEN LONNNNNGER because I'll be fucking starving & tired & irritated & unable to workout & worrying myself over fucking myself up AFUCKINGGAIN.