Ok. Here's the situation.

Jerry always did call me a shameless hussy. It't time to act like one.

My friend Dani here joined a burlesque group. She was a ballet dancer and a stripper years ago. I've never seen her dance, and their group was going to some town I've certainly never heard of. She got a hotel room, & invited me to join. It was expensive (106,000 round trip), 2.5 hours away, and it turns out on the Sea of Japan (with what really sometimes looked like a pirate ship. There were fireworks that night over the water, too)

and has, I should have known, a military base. The hotel was great, she got the nicest room, so we had a view of the sea, 

a living room, a bathtub (no time to use, ) A HEATED TOILET SEAT WHICH IS THE BEST THING EVER, plus of course a bidet. The bar where they were performing, Tilt, was owned by a Korean American, which I discovered that night, relies on the best looking military base I've ever seen for business. He also DOES NOT make his burgers or fries with fucking sugar, which is an abomination unto God and everything on Earth. I ordered 2 burgers to start, which came out with cheese and bacon, fries, REAL dill pickles (they're usually all sweet here, because of course they are), fries AND onion rings. Later, the owner kept bringing us chicken wings and nachos. Finally, all that yoga and kindness to a stranger on a train before Aaron left is paying off! (Oh, did I mention he left Korea last Wednesday? I saw him the weekend before, and on my way back, I was sitting next to the doors when I heard some sound. I looked over to find an American soldier kneeling on the floor directly in front of the doors, sobbing. The Koreans all looked a bit uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to just stay out of it, but I was the only person on that train who spoke English I'm sure, and I couldn't NOT do something. God knows people have been kind to me when I was in distress. I asked him if something was wrong, and he told me he'd just found out his wife is cheating on him. God damn. What do you say to that? I got up, took his hand, stood him up, offered him my seat. He said no, so I moved him out of the doors and held him. The poor boy, and he was a boy, sobbed and squeezed me. My heart just broke for him. I talked to him, made him laugh a few times too, asked where he was going. He said his base was at Suwon. So I talked to him until Suwon. I asked if he wanted me to go with him, help him get to base, take him out for drinks because I had nowhere to be. He said no... and actually he needed Seryu, which was the stop before Suwon. He said he'd be fine going back the one stop. I should have just gotten off with him, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to be alone. His wife is home, and I guess he was talking to a friend who's going through a tough time & solider boy is trying to help this guy out from abroad, and that guy told him he & soldier's wife were sleeping together. I was heartbroken for him the rest of the day. I hope to God he got back ok, just one stop on the train but still, they can be confusing since lots of states don't have public transport, and he was so upset.) To add fucking awesomeness to the WHOLE deal, the owner gave us FREE food and drinks, unlimited, all night. That is ON TOP OF sending us a whole bottle of Bombay gin. Because the universe was SHOWING ME SOME SWEET SWEET LOVE. 

The group realized that they needed someone at the door to collect money. I was the only one there not performing, so I volunteered. I stood next to the stage, so I could still watch. The show was great. Dani was AMAZING, God damn could she move. The guys were very enthusiastic, lol, and bought the girls ever more drinks, lol. I got hit on by a drunk guy, who kept pointing to the back where all the guys are watching, saying, "See that guy?" Yeah dude. Totally. He asked my name, told me his was Marco, asked if i was performing, asked me why not. Wanted me to hangout with him next weekend, then asked my name again. "it's Jennifer, Marco." And of course he thought I was his age, 27. Another guy thought Dani & I were both 30. Heeey, kind of aging in a loop, literally, eh?

After the show, the girls were mingling, and there was a table of girls interested in doing burlesque. 1 of them was this gorgeous girl, and she kept also teling me I should perform. Ah yes, actually, I let her in with less money at the door that she said she'd pay back later, and she did, and we talked, she had demanded I perform, and said she was going to start screaming my name to get me up there. She never did, but she made me come dance with her a few times too. Kept telling me how beautiful I was, so a nice mutual admiration society.

The burlesque girls are great too. We all know I couldn't care less about people seeing me naked, and my vanity would love a bigger, live audience. And I still look good, if not as I did during P90X. BUT. We ALLLLL know I CANNOT dance, act, flirt with a bunch of people, strip seductively, none of that. One of the dancers doesn't actually strip, she just wore a 1 piece bathing suit covered in balloons people popped with sparklers. She said I don't have to do any dancing, etc, I can be a bored bitch if that's what I want. I still don't know if I could do that on an actual stage in front of lots of people. Yet. But what I COULD do to start is wear a little costume & be a "kitten," a person who cleans up the stage between performances & puts up props. They need one too, apparently. I was thinking French maid of course. Any other ideas? Stage names? Opinions? I'm really excited actually. 

The continuing saga of my (steadily declining?) health

According to the ear, nose, & throat guy, ultimately I have nasopharyngitis, which is inflammation of the mucous membranes in the areas that extend between the oral and nasal palate, as well as allergic rhinitis? Which is hay fever, which I knew because I’d be at death’s door in fall and spring in Chicago, though not so much here. I could be wrong on names, particularly the last one. Funny: he knew the Latin names of the conditions and other medical terms, but words like, “change,” or “cause” sometimes eluded him, lol. Oh, and other funny aside: no one else spoke English but another patient: the receptionist kept speaking to me in Korean, never even slowing down when it was clear I didn’t understand her. I was being tortured by breathing steam in and out when I heard the girl say, “Jennipaw? Did you understand what she asked you?” I first went Monday, then back today, Thursday, this time before work, and there she was again! She’s a college student who, like a few of my students, wants to be an announcer or news anchor.

This is all from my hacking cough which I thought was another cough that turned into a bad cold on top of it. The nasopharyngitis one makes you more susceptible to viruses, and while I FINALLY have my normal voice back, I’m still coughing violently when I occasionally cough, and still have infected mucous. So he upped the antibiotic, and added other things that I couldn’t tell you about when I take them because the pharmacist didn’t notice my lack of comprehension when it came to her steady stream of Korean either. So apparently according to the doctor, cold air is a problem, as well as pollution and the other allergy-causing stuff in the air, particularly now, so instead of wearing a 4M mask when the air quality is particularly shitty, he said I should wear them every day, as it’ll help protect against this. I also need to gargle (which he acted out sort of, twice). I’m also going to try to find a neti pot here in Korea—so far, pharmacists have none, and they’re pretty new here. All it’ll take is a better internet connection than I had at the café I went to after the appointment to find it on there, I hope.

I’ve had no coffee all week because I’m sleeping ok and don’t want to risk any caffeine interfering (well, except the weaker black tea I make when I first get up). Tomorrow or Saturday I may have some because I don’t have to worry about getting up early.

Birthday was great fun, Koralia and her husband Simon marveled at the fact that I’m not British since I think like one (drink like one? Lol), named me an honorary Brit, and vowed to help me figure out how to get my visa there, even if it means marrying a cute rich guy, which she seems to think exist there.

Koralia and Simon likewise let me stay at their place AND stayed up with me before we turned in, keeping a steady supply of good 80s/90s music coming on so I’d get up and yell the lyrics. I had them play my standard “Love Me” by Elvis, but it has been a while so I didn’t do as good a job as I usually do.

Oh and 1 of classes, the biggest and most difficult, threw me a surprise part of sorts on Friday: they wrote all over the board, turned off the lights, and gathered around the door to yell various birthday wishes, from what I could understand, lol. I was given a lovely eraser, note, pen, several beads and pieces of candy. Then my little Phonics class read the birthday calendar in the hall, saw my birthday had been Friday, and on Tuesday they gave me a stuffed Daisy Duck doll (one of the girls had one & I of course got all excited because I LOVVVED Daisy when I was younger), plus this cute little wooden toy they had painted themselves, that uses a string tied to a ball below a paddle to make all their little heads go up & down like they’re eating—a bit like Hungry Hungry Hippos.

This is Aaron’s last week, I’m seeing him on Saturday, I hope, since I couldn’t last weekend due to busy weekend and my terrible illness. I’m still not recovered but am much better. Hopefully by Saturday will be even better off.

The only other news is that there has been serious drama at work. 2 teachers left, Sandra and Jessica, and were replaced with Marry and Yuna. Yuna was sexually harassing Dylan, but has since cut it out. Now the only real issue with her is that she always looks slightly inspired by Heath Ledger’s makeup application, as her lipstick is always on her lips and/or smeared on her face. The real issue has been Marry. The thing is, I feel for her, since my first time at a hagwon was hell, and being a Korean teacher at one is that much harder because of all they have to do. So I’m  not sure if she was just struggling under a new job/first time teaching or what, but she really resisted help, dug in her heels (I wouldn’t know ANNNNNYTHING about that), and has taken to being VERY rude and disrespectful to Sue, the owner.

One thing to remember/learn is that, thanks to Confucianism influence, age, seniority, and sex are the big markers for respect here. Korean has I just learned FOUR conjugations depending on your position relative to the person you’re speaking to, starting with when you speak to those lower than you, your peers, and TWO that demonstrate respect. Sue is not only the owner, so seniority, but the oldest person here, so she is owed every little bit of deference. Sue actually speaks to all the teachers in Korean with the 2^nd highest respectful level, in short showing them loads of respect by not just speaking to them with the peers conjugations, but the one signifying respect. To use the one for lesser people is NOT considered rude, either, at all. So it’s kind of a big deal that Sue does that. Marry was lashing out when she felt she was getting picked on, and was using the lower form of conjugations to speak very rudely to Sue. The other night when I came to the teachers’ office after my last class, Sue was in there, speaking very calmly, Anna was trying to be conciliatory, and then the Korean teachers were shocked and very angry. They’ve said they’ve had issues with her doing that several times, and they have been truly shocked and extremely angered by how rude she is to everyone, especially Sue. I will never forget when Anna was telling me everything that had happened, and said that Marry is a cunt. Anna lived in Australia, where that term isn’t nearly so loaded as it is in the US, but she’s familiar with its meaning too. She said she never thought she’d ever have reason to use it that way, and has prayed every night to God to forgive her for her terrible language.

Marry keeps coming back, surprising us all that she would show up—we all know she’s leaving now, but it all just came to a head, so Sue is desperately trying to find a new teacher. Jessica, one who had left, may very well come back to help out until a replacement is found (she left because she’s working on getting to the US this spring).

Wednesday when we came in for the teachers’ meeting, Anna and Jennifer were outside, but Sue, her husband Mr. Choi (who is the nicest guy, to me at least, and when he found out my birthday was Friday he got me a supreme box of these traditional Korean cookies that are awesome, and the rest of the teachers a more generic version that was still eaten up. They were SO good, and great for bribing students. As are pokemon stickers), and Marry were in the office with the door closed, but everyone was yelling. There was another argument last night, another bit of stern speaking from Anna today, and then I came in from my 3^rd evening class to find Marry is crying. Sue has been in and out, speaking to her very calmly and nicely, Anna too. No idea what happened, Dylan and I never know until someone fills us in, lol. So we’ll be getting a new teacher, but no idea when, and until then, apparently, there will be plenty of drama here. She breaks so many social norms here that Dylan seriously thinks she is North Korean. An interesting theory, and really could be a good explanation. I feel bad for everyone going through it. 

There's nothing better

than getting a terrible cold, complete with little chills, 2 days before your 40th birthday. Good times all the way. What make sit EVEN BETTER is I also got my period today. Yee ha!

I've had a cough for about 5 days, and coughs just won't let go until I throw doctor-prescribed meds at it. Today, Anna the head teacher was a dear and came with me to see the Asian medicine doctor on the floor below the school. At this point, I only had a cough that kept me up on Tuesday night (so it was primed to get worse today). I shocked Anna when I told her that I'd had acupuncture before, that you can get it quite easily in the US, which was the doc's recommendation. He left some needles in while resting a smoking little ring of herbs or something on my stomach-- like a car cigarette lighter, but it takes about 15 minute before you feel a little warmth, at which point I summoned him back. He gave me a packet of something I have to drink EVERY BIT OF, leaving none behind, 3 times a day. He suggested taking it like a shot, though it tastes just fine.  It was not long after that the cough morphed into a terrible sore throat, some chills, a bit of aching, and left my voice a raspy, croaking whisper (which I blamed on 2 of my favorite students, who giggled when I told them they had done this to me).

Luckily the pharmacies here are even less useful than in the US-- everything over the counter is herbal and or/totally ineffective, plus they have nothing for helping you sleep. Because besides the cold, I've had insomnia for a week, and even some melatonin hasn't been helping. I'm going to take 1 of the last pills I have here with some wine, in the hopes it'll help me get a LITTLE better tomorrow. I'm also going to volunteer to be shoved around to the appropriate non-English-speaking doctors that are just down the street, thanks to the symptoms I have written in Korean from one of the teachers, plus plenty of charades and showing them what exactly we're all up against. Nathalie told me when she went to a doctor he gave her a pill that had her coughing up massive amounts of unpleasantness.

Would be interesting if the herbs were just that good and have started pushing me through the worsening before it gets better part, though I know that's not likely what we have here.

Nothing, though, will stop me from my birthday celebration, which will be: cocktails at a lovely little cocktail place, followed by dinner in another lovely European restaurant with 13 or so of my friends (including Nathalie, whose birthday is the day after mine), followed by more drinks at a nearby pub (though I plan on keeping it WAYYYY down. Really. No joke) with everyone ALL dressed up, which the Brits in the group naturally took to, because I was definitely born in the wrong country, and even with Brexit I'd rather have that mess to deal with than Dictator Cheeto.

I'd love for all of you reading and the hordes who DON'T read it to come, but it's rather too far. Hopefully the pics won't feature a very wan guest of honor.

Ok, time for some bone broth, mysterious powder, and trying my damnedest to fail at sleeping well tonight anyway.

Quiz time!

You have a 10-year-old boy named Arnold. He is likely dyslexic, and has had some English education, placing in at about level 1-4. There is a 1-4 class with students aged 8, and a 2-5 level class aged 10. Where does he go?

You have a 12 year-old-boy, Dan, who speaks absolutely no English, doesn’t know the alphabet, so should be in a Phonics class. The Phonics 1 (0-1) class is all 6 year-olds. There are 2 classes with 12 year-olds; they are in levels 4-6 and 5-8 respectively. Where does he go?

Your answer, of course, is both boys go into the class that matches their AGE, NOT their level. So, Dan goes into the 4-6 class. With Arnold, you have TWO things to do: ignore and deny the dyslexia, and of course put him in level 2-5 with his peers.

When the native teacher asks if you understand but you didn’t, say yes to the teacher. The 8 times she asks the class if they understand and have questions, as a class just sit there and stare, or nod finally when she asks a few more times, saying, “Yes, I understand.” Then, go home and tell your parents in Korean that you don’t know how to say you don’t understand, when your class is currently writing sentences about hobbies, things you and your individual family members enjoy doing together, so that your parents can call the school and tell the owner that your child doesn’t understand… and doesn’t know how to say they don’t understand or know the English word. Most students don’t remember, apparently, most of the words that they learned in 0-1, nor that putting “no” in front of “understand,” a word you JUST USED, conveys just that meaning. Do not look at the teacher quizzically to convey confusion, or use any words at all to say anything.

In Asia, each year of age means anyone younger has to defer to you. So a whole classroom must now defer completely to the one older student, or the young student can never participate at all, because they must defer to everyone else. It’s likely that the older kid’s parents will scream at the school that their child isn’t stupid, so they shouldn’t be in a class with kids even 2 years younger.

Make sure, as well, that all kids move up a level regardless of their understanding and mastery of the current level, because otherwise their parents will probably get mad and pull them from your school. Many Korean parents, who don’t speak a word of English, believe that simply being in a classroom with someone speaking to them in English for a couple hours/day will give them native fluency in about 6 months to a year. Any slower progress, and the parents get upset because the teachers are bad. Make the native English teacher teach a writing class with high beginners who have never learned the different tenses nor how to make a sentence.  

It is happening. It is finally happening.

Kpop is playing, and I feel even better about Korea than I already did. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll even love it!

This shouldn't be taken to mean I don't like Korea, not by a long shot. It's just that I know I couldn't live here indefinitely as so many can and do.

The only other thought I have is that, while I'm only 2 countries into this teaching abroad thing, I've made at least one friend in each that I just couldn't do without.

Wow guys. Shortest blog post EVAH!

So, you mean, I forgot the most important part?

I think somehow you all knew, but here's how going full-paleo, instead of just soy-,dairy-, and wheat-free.

Here's the pic I posted in December, despairing that I'd have to give up working out, since that seemed to coincide with my breakouts getting worse:

And here is how my skin looks after ditching rice and oatmeal, the only two grains I was eating regularly:

Of course, I realize now that the above was daylight, and this was at night with only the apartment light, but it's still a significant change.

Very unpleasant surprise... or is it?

It’s Saturday. I spent the whole day shopping on very little food. It was freezing, & I was intent on finding the Olive Young beauty supply store because it carries the natural salt deodorant I use. I wandered with 2 heavy bags of groceries for around an hour, unable to find it. I hated giving up, but there was no way I was going to find it, so I went home. I got home & I was really hungry. & really tired. I wanted something sweet, something quick. I am unspeakably tired of prepping and cooking. I still had some gluten-free chocolate cereal from before I went paleo, so I decided fuck it, I’d eat the damned cereal, then it wouldn’t be wasted, & I would get what I want without having to bake as well.  It doesn't have wheat, the large-looming enemy of all. Fast forward about 2 hours, & I was throwing up. JUST A LITTLE, not a full-on emptying the stomach, but there we are. I can’t imagine that my body was reacting THAT strongly to grains after just two weeks off of it, but then there’s my period too.

Usually I get slight cramps a week or so before. I remembered thinking on Friday that this is around the time I should be getting it, but no cramps yet. Saturday afternoon is when I got it. Day one, likewise, is the worst in the way of cramps, but there were NONE. Not a one… until 4 or so hours after the cereal, when they literally came back with a vengeance, as did a much heavier flow. Lesson learned? My body just REAALY likes paleo. I thought it was just sugar that made the cramps & PMS symptoms worse, but I’ve been eating chocolate every night after work. Which leaves me with the other grains that were gone until the cereal.

Soo, between it likely helping my rosacea, prescribed for the Hashimoto’s, & giving me a miraculously easier-to-take period, paleo is definitely going to be here to stay in my diet.