I just read about ways to work around the Schengen Zone visa limits and/or get visas that will let a US citizen stay. I was heartened to find a few countries have freelancer visas, though naturally the ONE country that's most open AND will let a non-citizen use their insurance is Germany. I just so strongly doubt I would like Germany. Other than a couple female friends from there whom I liked, the men in particular seem to have zero sense of humor & personality. Trying to get a dialogue going with them on tinder, for example, is really just my functioning as interviewer, where they seem to think I am hungry for whatever information they will give me that I ask, but have zero awareness or interest in asking me any questions/getting to know me. Naturally, as they all do, these conversations end quickly, which is what I want, since I've found that not only have I not wanted to date (and definitely not go with the FWB/hook-ups 90% of guys are looking for), but there isn't anyone for me to date (especially due to what 90% are looking for).
In any event, to apply for any of the freelance visas in various countries, you still have to have a certain amount of savings on top of proof of employment, the more the better. And given that it's impossible for me to save on what I make here, I definitely need to get some side work going. Which is why you may wonder, as I do, why I can't make myself work on my resume, or look for jobs. No, instead, I'm taking 2 courses, one on happiness (the famed Yale one, which you can take on Coursera), and one on World Literature from Harvard on EdX. The latter requires extra reading, so now I'm reading the Odyssey slowly (the translation I have that's free online isn't all that poetic, certainly not as rich & enjoyable as I remember the Iliad being). Though I also know that a few of the problems I have with doing extra remote work is, first, I'd need part time, which I just haven't seen. I'd need one with flexibility in how much work I can do for them when I leave Korea, plus access to some healthcare when I go back to the US to get certified to teach. & then there's doing my taxes as a freelancer, which just sounds like a giant pain in the neck. Yet, all of this needs to be worked out so I can finally live in Europe, hate it like I hate every other place I've lived, & turn into a US-only hermit like Jason (though he still keeps taking trips to Latin America, which is a sickness as far as I'm concerned). And all of it gives me anxiety, particularly the part about leaving the awesome healthcare and system here (even if I need it more because the country itself makes me sicker).
But we'll leave that constant background mess to discuss my other issues with dating, which is making mountains out of the RARE molehills that come up once every 5-10 years. By which I mean, well here I haven't been dating at all, but in the past, getting a second date was a rare enough occurrence that it always became a big deal to me, never mind how much bigger it was to me than the guy and the random normal person who knows such things definitely aren't big deals. But when you go decades with that being rare, it kind of IS. So that when there isn't a third date or whatever, it hits me hard because the guy who even wants a second date is something of a unicorn, so I always feel like I have to try to make whatever comes along work, & I know it'll be years before I get that far again. When a guy keeps texting me daily & isn't an asshole for a whole week (!!!!!!), it's insignificant & not worth mentioning at all.. except for me, since this has happened... 2 times? 3? Victor being one of those times. & that lasted all of 3 months, one of those months also being me not pulling the plug when I knew I had to. Psychologically I've determined it all comes down to my wanting the male approval I got the opposite of in 6th grade in particular. If only knowing shit changed your behavior & beliefs!
Got guilted by Jesse, my friend who's a personal trainer. Well I guilted myself, really, because he assumed I was using a foam roller, but I'm not, primarily because I hate doing it, but also because shit's so damned expensive here, I expected to be charged nothing less than 50,000 won. I knew I should be doing it, especially with how sore & knotted up my muscles get, so I decided I'd get one if it wasn't 50k. Turns out it was only 25-30. This week was a LOONNNNNNNNNGG OVERDUE recovery week, & I decided foam rolling would be a good thing to do. & it is... if you have some smidgen of an idea what you're doing. Clearly I don't because I spent 1.5 hours doing my upper body, one hour on lower, in lots of pain, & then saw that I actually have bruises on my back & legs from it. So I guess I went a bit too hard? HOW did I go a bit too hard? Maybe it's because I got the evil textured one, which I've never had before. In any event, I'm bruised from my recovery week. Seems about right.
Finally, Ashling, the girl I replaced, will be in Korea for a few nights. I only knew that, nothing more. Anna told Dylan they'd all go out with her one Friday night, he thinks the end of June. She asked Dylan if he thought I'd go given I can't eat shit. He said probably, he didn't know, but she should ask me, though can't figure out why he's invited b/c he never met her. I'm not surprised that my special snowflake diet is resulting in a dilemma, but still, to not invite me AT ALL? Apparently they're unaware that I'll go places where I can't eat anything sometimes, I just need advance notice so I can bring extra food or something. Ohhhh, Korea. Sigh.
So those are my current ramblings. Plenty for me to stress about & keep me busy, yet not enough for me to forge ahead and make any much-needed headway for my future plans.
um... maybe because you did it for hours?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.shape.com/fitness/tips/bruising-after-foam-rolling-normal
as for the taxes thing - you do know that dad has been doing taxes for like 50 years, right? take advantage while he can still do them!
no joke mark... all my comments... Dad does taxes, bill can help too. I am not for foam rolling. the Yamuna ball is awesome. it has a book to show you whole body rolling. the best. you adjust the air in ball start super soft to just get the feeling then progress to a full ball. problem with foam roller is its 1 shape and cannot actually get into parts of legs and shoulders/chest- pretty much jack shit compared to a ball. but the book and a under blownup ball would help. i can email pages.
ReplyDeletei also suggest you stop yoga. i had such problems running end of HS and into college because of Yoga and stretching. turns out those of us with loose ligaments should not be yoga or stretching because what we're actually doing is moving the ligament, not muscle -thus the roller ball to get in there. so i ran a race not log ago where i was running almost everyday. not record times, but did not stretch 1x and i felt amazing, got stronger and was starting to drop time. different bodies, different needs. consider stopping all that dumb shit and get into muscles.
as for diet - i would just keep repeating to everyone - I a have a special diet. its no big deal. it does not stop me from socializing, just bring a snack and it's fine... all your people and people who know about it should be able to repeat that shit back. yes, dumb so you have to repeat until they repeat... :*