I made the mistake, while in crisis mode, of writing to a friend's friend, Blu, who has been working in Korea for quite a few years. The problem is that I've actually felt WORSE after messaging him before. He didn't get back to me until after I'd felt good that I'd come up with a solution to the problem. I'd stopped panicking and feeling anxiety for the first time in over a week, only for him to tell me that it's pretty common for the old employer to badmouth teachers to their new school, even if things seemed to end well between you. Making it sound like it was a sure thing. And honestly? I'd have rather have been blindsided by that, because at least then I could've thought optimistically and stopped the negativity and panic spiral I am so prone to. And then I thought I should just ignore what he says because, hell, I figured Kiara had a clue about what was going on here since she'd been here for a while and just agreed to extend her contract with the school for a year, but her advice by and large hasn't helped at all.
I'd feel better if I at least knew that I COULD just sink myself a little further in debt and fly back home, but all my credit cards are at their limit. So my only option was to try and move on to a new place as professionally and courteously as I could, only to be dismissed with added doom and gloom and a, "Sorry Korea didn't work out for you." Seriously. This is the help I was given.
I COULD try going to Thailand, but I'd only make enough to break even. And while I liked it there, it just wouldn't help.
So! Back to panicking and depression and feeling sick and not knowing what to do, but hoping that all of my advisers will be wrong again. Just really, really hoping, because I'm out of options.
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