Ohhhh, well, as always, so much happens, so little time/thought of updating everything.
Since we last spoke, I'm fairly certain things got a bit more... serious, as in, more moments to urge me to go.
I hate to say this as it will almost definitely change, but Elmo isn't even my big problem anymore. Eric is SOMEHOW not being a total little tool who refuses to listen. He is reading- no, he is volunteering to read! Ian isn't quite as whiny as before. So at least I have THAT less to worry about.
Last week, Anna, the vice principal, needed to talk to me. She told me that 2 classes (later she divulged the older students, so middle school, the age group I thought I wanted to teach, lol!!) complained that I am a spiritless teacher. Which I took to mean without passion. 1 of these classes is 2 girls, about 13, who don't really talk. 1 of them, Sophia, doesn't like music. To repeat, she told me she doesn't listen to music at all, she doesn't like it, at all. Which I think qualifies her as having no soul, but whatever. Anna asked my thoughts. I said I definitely tended to stick more to academics than games or anything else, particularly as the girls, at least, don't exactly seem that open. Which is true enough. She also clarified that they didn't say I was boring, but spiritless. She said boring, or this, or that, we can fix. But no passion, they can't. She suggested I talk to the other teachers, ask their advice, try to play more games, not always stick with the book.
Normally, being called into to talk to my supervisors FREAKS ME THE HELL OUT. I am usually ashamed and horrified when being talked to about any faults or failings. With this meeting, I felt nothing. At all, the whole time, during, and after. I just didn't care.
I still went to those 2 classes and skipped the reading/played games/focused on just getting the girls to talk. BUT the week wasn't done yet!
Friday night, I am in my last class, a larger class that's really boisterous. The principal, Hetty, and the receptionist came in to ask about Lilly's report card, which I'd have finished 2-3 weeks ago, but they were only sending out now. I told them I was sure I'd written one, and went to find my student write-ups. UnFORTUNATELY, no, not one for Lilly. I remembered then that she'd been gone for 1 month, 1/2 of February, and I figured that meant I didn't have to do it.
Naturally this was not good. Hetty was, once again, understandably, upset. She actually pulled me out of the class to start writing it, but of course with that class, no teacher, no order, so sent me back in, and told me to do it afterward.
Hetty, Donna (the receptionist) and I were all going to the teacher dinner at some restaurant afterward too. Good times sitting in the car with her after fucking this up. Fortunately, Donna doesn't speak English and never stops talking, so Hetty just kept listening to her drivel the whole way.
I am surprised to report that conversation with Sara and Kiara was really good: aside from politics and social issues, we of course delved back into my adjustment, or lack thereof. Kiara pointed out that the class' Korean teacher should have noticed a while ago that I hadn't put that report card in, that being part of their jobs.
Naturally, according to everyone, you will make mistakes, and keep making mistakes, for a long time here. Kiara repeatedly made the same mistakes for the 1st 6 months she was there. So it'd be great to remember that and give myself a giant break.
Sara said she was certain she'd be fired within a month or less, due to too much joking with the kids (whereas I don't do that enough).
I decided to reach out on the women expat facebook page and just ask people how to deal with the culture shock. And the responses were why I'm so keen on staying here: people are incredibly supportive and friendly. Now I have plenty of invitations from people nearby to meet up and talk and be reassured. I've been given ample advice, and generally feel a little better.
Nevertheless, I still HATE the new curriculum, Hessed, which none of us American teachers wanted to touch with a 10-foot-pole, and I'm the one who was put in charge of it. Except that Hetty LOVES obsessing about it, wanting to count, and recount, and recount again, the kits for the kids, ask confusing questions, and generally make this fucked-up program something I hate all the more.
Today we were told that now, in addition to writing the monthly lesson plans for all of our classes (for me that's 7 distinct classes), report cards, hobble together big assessment tests, write biweekly progress reports on each kindergartener to tell their parents what a marvelous little genius their progeny is, spread out books that would normally be finished in 1 month over 3... now we have to write daily lesson plans for each class. For me that's around 25/week. They aren't the exhaustive ones that one would do as a "real" teacher, more like note-form. But it's still a lot and more than I can fathom taking on when I'm just keeping my head near or above water as it is.
So today, taking into account everything, including how much I dislike the Hessed (I teach it to 4 classes/week. It's about astronauts and outer space-- 1 class is preschool and just learning the alphabet, the other is super low: they repeat everything I say, including questions I'm asking them, and don't understand the words, "answer," "tell me," "what sound does this letter make," and "write.), plus the new busy work (which is what Kiara called it, and she's the only one of us who adjusted there-- Sara said she never did, though thinks it's just this place, not the Korean system in general, which I'm still grappling with), plus my short days being 9 hours long, I just have to get away from this place. Naturally I'm back to worrying about getting the release letter, even though I do as I'm told, stick up for myself (which they respect, apparently), and go by the letter of the contract, including this FUCKING INSANE 3 months' notice, because I'll be leaving right when Kiara does. So I'm definitely anxious now about where to go and what to do when I can't get another job here. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
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