HA! Spoke too damned soon.

I made the mistake, while in crisis mode, of writing to a friend's friend, Blu, who has been working in Korea for quite a few years. The problem is that I've actually felt WORSE after messaging him before. He didn't get back to me until after I'd felt good that I'd come up with a solution to the problem. I'd stopped panicking and feeling anxiety for the first time in over a week, only for him to tell me that it's pretty common for the old employer to badmouth teachers to their new school, even if things seemed to end well between you. Making it sound like it was a sure thing. And honestly? I'd have rather have been blindsided by that, because at least then I could've thought optimistically and stopped the negativity and panic spiral I am so prone to. And then I thought I should just ignore what he says because, hell, I figured Kiara had a clue about what was going on here since she'd been here for a while and just agreed to extend her contract with the school for a year, but her advice by and large hasn't helped at all.

I'd feel better if I at least knew that I COULD just sink myself a little further in debt and fly back home, but all my credit cards are at their limit. So my only option was to try and move on to a new place as professionally and courteously as I could, only to be dismissed with added doom and gloom and a, "Sorry Korea didn't work out for you." Seriously. This is the help I was given.

I COULD try going to Thailand, but I'd only make enough to break even. And while I liked it there, it just wouldn't help.

So! Back to panicking and depression and feeling sick and not knowing what to do, but hoping that all of my advisers will be wrong again. Just really, really hoping, because I'm out of options.

Ok, I am firmly out of crisis mode

Suffice it to say, it was a doozy of a week. I am fairly certain there won't be another so jam-packed full of insanity and deadlines all converging in one week and two days, but yesterday I almost quit on the spot. And after a sober Friday night and plenty of unloading unto friends (thanks Tausha and Jason), I have decided to follow through and at least give my notice to ILS.

This week was kindergarten graduation, which was not my fuck show to make, though I still had to participate. As mentioned in my previous post, I was relegated to running the slide show. This still had me anxious, and quite frankly I thought that my constant state of soaking in my own cortisol would be over once the ceremony was on Thursday. But ohhh, how wrong I was.

Next week, on Monday, all elementary classes will take the Big Assessment Test. Most of the tests for each story is in a folder. You cut and paste them into one document, based on how many stories the kids read, cherry-picking them based on what you think the kids will be able to answer relatively easily, and to get a total of about 20-25 points per test. The main problem with this was that copy and pasting into a new document sets up all sorts of auto-numbering issues, that quite frankly I lost the battle with. Mainly because I knew that to get through this contract and accept my role as glorified babysitter, I had to stop giving a shit. And that included caring that much if a new section (like going from multiple choice to writing the answer) would cause the document to start the numbering again at 1 or not. Sometimes it did, sometimes it did not. Plus, other than what I'm writing, all of Windows is in Korean, so unless I remember where this option is exactly in the menu, I can't really tell what I'd be clicking on, so I don't. I took care of my tests (all of them, I thought), a few weeks ago. It wasn't 'til late Tuesday afternoon that I realized I had one more test to put together, and it was going to be taken on Thursday. Giving me one day, a day when I had no breaks, plus whatever time after the graduation ceremony on Thursday, to finish it.

Except they decided that the new owner/principal should look at them all Wednesday afternoon. Then I discovered to my horror that the book my Thursday test-taker didn't have any tests already made up, and I'd have to make up the questions myself. On the same day and actually while being reminded that Hetty the principal wanted the tests around now. I somehow got that put together, and printed up the rest to give to her.

Hetty called me into her office to tell me how very unhappy she was that I would give to the new principal what I did: tests with numbering that wasn't consistent. This was upsetting enough, but one of the tests I'd printed also had an extra 8 blank pages at the end I'd forgotten to delete, so there were those 8 blank pages attached. This is a monumental waste of paper (despite the fact that I just put them back in the printer after). She also added that I'm an "ok" teacher, though we also needed to work on my keeping my students focused. I knew that had to mean Elmo, which quite frankly no one can keep in line. They finish the work on the schedule every day, so not quite sure what the real issue is there. I told her if she had suggestions for handling them I was all ears as no one else did. She just said something about having different personalities that would affect solutions to that or something.

So getting called into the principal's office for a scolding, when on the one hand yes the numbering issue isn't great, but ultimately I fail to see it as quite the big deal that she did, is always unnerving. Thursday and Friday is also when we had to submit all of our students' report cards (in 2 different systems, one of which only has the kids' names in Korean). This means not only indicating my opinion on their grammar, fluency, etc., but also a paragraph about each kid, which can include a soft statement of issues you may be having with them, but mainly blowing sunshine up the parents' asses about their little devils.And entering all of the lesson plans for March into the system. No one mentioned that, this being a new school year, several of my classes would now have different names. So some I entered into the wrong files. Then there was one that I had to move everything down a day because it turned out when I'd made the month's plan we didn't know if students would return to school next Wednesday or Friday. This one I did for Wednesday, but it ended up being Friday. And on Thursday the vice principal told me that E2A, the one class lesson plan I'd already put into the file, would now have a new book that we'd do every Friday. So I had to go back and completely rewrite/rearrange that one. I asked the VP (Anna) if I could see the book to see how many pages we'd need to get through, but we won't get trained on this book (Hessed Thematic, whatever that means) until Wednesday the 2nd, and I'll have my first class with it on Friday the 4th.

So at this point I'm pretty well past my breaking point of stress, particularly as while I'm trying to get the lesson plans entered or re-entered or rearranged and re-entered, Korean teachers keep interrupting me to ask about another class' plan. There were other teachers (though no VP or principal) in the office when I said out loud I'd just have to give my notice and quit. No one said anything though. And I just didn't care if they did.

Wednesday, Kiara mentioned to me that she noticed I was getting stressed out, and that I sometimes behaved in a way that makes that obvious, even though cultural differences probably mean the Koreans don't even notice. That makes no sense to me as I'm sure the signs are pretty universal, they've worked with Americans plenty, but also if they don't notice then who cares?? Kiara said she had a HELL of an adjustment here. I agreed I needed to work on that. I'll definitely talk to Kiara to see how she dealt with it, as she, like me, had no relationship with any of the English teachers when she started either. But as I've already determined that Kiara is no help at best, I don't have much hope of that working out so well.

We also found out Friday that all of us will have a pre-k class to teach this year. My one worry that I'd discussed with the previous owner was having to work with pre-k, which OF COURSE she said wasn't a problem. Honestly, the one morning class I didn't hate, Clifford, was pre-k, so part of me was thinking as I was mulling all of this over most pessimistically, that maybe I should wait until I've seen the new schedule and met the kids. But ultimately, even when I didn't have to worry about getting through a full morning with Elmo because we all had graduation practice all day, every morning I'm having mini-anxiety attacks going to work. And anxiety all evening and on the weekends when I'm not there. I had another job like that. I made it 6 months before that hell finally ended. And I can't live like that. Or live with hating my damned job. I did that for 5 years, and life really and truly sucked.

All in all, Jason begged me to just come home, he'd pay for my flight. Ah, how I wish that were true! Lol. But it's always nice to hear.

It's not uncommon for people to transfer their visas to new schools, you just need a letter of release from your current school. The schools are legally required to give this to you, provided you resign within the contract's rules. This is commonly 30 days. The only other issue is quitting before 6 months means the school will deduct the amount of your flight from your paycheck. The 6 month point is basically universally when you've worked enough that you won't be docked for that. Tausha told me there are plenty of openings April and May, especially in Suwon, which is also a little closer to Seoul.

My only concern was I was positive that, having not even fully completed 2 months here, I absolutely do not see how I can make it another 4 to get to the 6-month point. It sucks being docked $700, but I can live with it since I've been financially comfortable since getting paid in February. Of course, I can always just ditch them and leave without much of a word. I can come back to Korea and work after my current ARC expires next January, provided I don't include this job on my resume. But it's easier to get a job from here, and why head all the way back to the US when I want to see what it's like working here when you DON'T hate the environment, kids, and have no support network within the school to help with your adjustment before I just say, nope, I can't deal with teaching in Korea.

This also really fucked with my plan of paying off debt by working here in Korea for a year OR 2, then heading back to the US to become certified to teach and get my MA, giving me better options abroad, the ability to teach in the US, and will be a lot less financially depressing without the debt I have now. Were I to return to the US now, I'm just not financially prepared for that. Getting a job in the US is SUCH a fucking pain, never mind one that's part time that MIGHT let me live in a studio instead of having to be a burden to whoever might take me in while I'm unable to work during the day during the practicum portion of schooling. Not to mention the testing and application process to get into these programs.

I read my contract and was given even MORE bad news. When I'd read it before signing it (which I did), I didn't pay close attention to the quitting portion. I know, I know, but you know, I was excited to be getting a job, and it wasn't at the forefront of my mind what quitting this new job would entail. My contract has the excessive requirement that I give 3 months' notice of quitting. As I've said, I just do not believe I can make it last that long. I think one more month is probably all I can take. And then? Turns out that quitting before the end of the 12 months will mean I'm going to have to pay them for my flight anyway. Tausha, who seems to agree that my school's bullshit is very excessive and unnecessary, was particularly shocked at these 2 added-on insults to my psychic injury, lol. Oh well. I guess at least now I definitely have no incentive to worry about my inability to last another 4 months.

Aside from the financial issue of losing $700 and then having to shell out another $1000 or whatever to get back to the US, plus the issue of finding a job and where I'll go, etc., I'd feel ashamed that I'd made such a bad decision and failed in my plan.All in all, everything looked pretty bleak.

But after letting myself panic over it all for a bit, I calmed down, reminding myself that naturally I had run out of most of my liquor at the same time, and had to go to emart to restock. (Korea's Target). Which is also what people apparently do on a Saturday night here. It's always crowded on the weekends of course, but you'd think maybe enough Koreans (and the Chinese too, I'm told), who stick to very American-style meal times religiously might be leaving the store by 6:30-7:00. And that plenty would also be going out, particularly as they don't face the language barrier that keeps me from having someone else do the cooking for me more often, especially as good meals out can be cheap here.

It had occurred to me that just having a certain, more imminent end date, might definitely make it possible for me to make it through. So, calm and ok and walking to emart, I decided that, kind-of-scary as it is, and unhappy about my inability to stick it out as I am wont to do, I am going to give the school my 3 months' notice. As I said, hopefully having that end date within a slightly-closer grasp will get me through. It also occurred to me that they may well decide to fire me when I give it to them, which scares me but should still mean I won't have an issue getting that release letter, and won't have to last that long. If I just ABSOLUTELY CANNOT make it, there is always putting my tail between my legs, repacking my stuff and heading back home.

How to celebrate a 12-hour time difference birthday, and other more troubling difficulties.

I naturally celebrated my birthday on the day of it here, though what I kept thinking was, technically since I was born in the US and they're a good 12 or so hours behind, it was technically not yet a full year since my last birthday, yet I was feeling and acting as though it was. Kristina, I think rightly, said that it all meant I would have to celebrate my birthday for 2 days, rather than one.

My birthday wasn't great, simply because I just don't like where I work. We're gearing up for graduation for the 7 year-olds, so they'll no longer be coming to the school in the mornings. Kiara has been in charge of this cluster-fuck, and rehearsals have shown me it's going to be just that. Some of the songs the kids still don't know, even after probably a good 3 months of learning the songs. (So Anna, the vice principal I give more detail about below, decided meant the kids should sing ANOTHER song, because that won't cause any problems at all!) I was assigned the task of getting the kids lined up for going on stage for their various performances, which went as well as everything else does with me telling them what to do: mostly no one listening. At this point I'm not quite sure how I cannot exert any sort of authority over the kids, since most of them are fine the few times I have classes with them, and I don't feel intimidated or worried or anything like that. But the fact remains that lining up took at least twice as long as it should have when I was the US teacher in charge of this task. Kiara realized her mistake, so now I'm in charge of the slide show, and Sara is in charge of lining up the kids.

Anna is the assistant principal of the school. Before my working there, Kiara gushed about how awesome Anna is. Naturally I think she's a bitch. Because, really just across the board anymore, and especially after this past week, I have determined that when Kiara says something, I should do the exact opposite. We teachers were in the office and Anna was telling me something about the lines. I told her I was now doing slides and Sara was doing that. Anna asked when that happened, and now Kiara had to apologize for not keeping Anna updated on this. Why it would be that big of a deal to her, I couldn't tell you, but then Anna really does show signs of leaning toward micromanaging, albeit only occasionally. Anna asked why, and naturally, Kiara, having all the bluntness of an Asian and none of the subtlety or diplomacy of a Westerner, explained it was because I couldn't control the kids as well. Ok, I mean I say all of that about Kiara, particularly because I think in most cases among Americans, when there are others around, one tries to be a bit more circumspect in their criticisms, but the fact is that... that's the fact of the matter-- I can't control the kids! Nevertheless, I remain as galled and a bit angered and confused that Anna's response was to turn to me (remember, most of the teachers are in the room too) and says, "Oh, so you FAILED." Well, firstly, failed isn't quite the right word for this. But in any event, I was pretty shocked and, as I said, galled, angry, a bit embarrassed, etc.

I have heard often of how blunt and downright rude Koreans/Asians in general can be. Any teacher will tell you that if you usually wear makeup to school, and then one day you don't, the kids will spend the day saying, "Teacher! You are ugly today!" We're not sure if it's because they don't have the vocabulary for plain, if they don't have that sort of terminology in Korean, or if it's just in keeping with saying things that most Westerners would find a bit rude because that's just how things are. I knew of this. But I can't tell you how knowing it doesn't really mitigate the shock of it when it happens to you. What's worse for me is the added concept of Asian saving face, which is the concept of denying responsibility for a bad thing, which can include blaming the person who discovered it, or lying, or both, anything to keep you from having to say, "My bad," and, even more crucially, "Let's fix it."

So all in all, my knowledge of some of the cultural idiosyncrasies that one encounters in Asia (including the bumping into people without an acknowledgement of it in China first, but a bit here too) does not necessarily make it easier to take.

All of this has led to Anna finding other teachers to come help me get Elmo class to practice their graduation speeches. All the other classes have theirs down, but Elmo sure as smeg has not. On the one hand, I appreciate it because they are a bit better-behaved with Koreans, yet at the same time Eric, for example, acts just the same with them around as he does with me, so I continue to not feel quite so ineffectual knowing that it's what everyone there deals with when it comes to them. On the other hand, I feel like a bad teacher because I don't have sufficient authority to be able to have Elmo speech practice time on my own.

So all of that was this week as well, not all on my birthday. My birthday had its good moments:

Drawings from Clifford's Lydia and Jessica, who shocked me by remembering it was my birthday and deciding to make these during draw time

and bad, but I believe the worst moment of my birthday (not week) was when I was leaving and waved goodbye to the new owner Hetty, whom we all actually like. She was on the phone but looked like she wanted to say something, so I waited. Apparently, in the continued spirit of showing me how little I can rely on any of the Americans here, both past and present, is that the sheet with what I was told had the school's mailing address for the immigration office to mail my ARC card to (they mail it to the school, and I'd been wondering how much of a wrench the 3-day holiday Feb 9th had thrown into my getting the damed thing, because I'd been waiting a while) had the address wrong, so the post office sent it back and I had to go back to immigration to pick it up. 

Hetty told me to talk to Anna about seeing if I could go during the day on Thursday, but I have an hour class with a kid at 5, so my going at around 2:30 wouldn't have gotten me back in time. Not knowing if this would take as long and require the usual waiting, I left my damned apartment at 6:30 on Friday morning to get a nice early ticket.

As luck would have it, it only took 30 minutes to get there, and I was actually the first person there. Luck also had it that this was the day the office wouldn't open the doors for us chumps until 8:50. So I had a GREAT TIME standing outside in February for about 2 hours.

When we were let in, we found the ticket machine is not working. It took the office a leisurely 10 minutes to start manually handing out tickets, and another 5 to start calling us. I was pretty at a loss of what to do-- do I need to go stake my claim as #1 in line over by the gate to the staff desk areas? Eventually they started serving us ticket-holders. I explained the situation to a woman, and she told me to go across the office to get it. I wasn't sure if she meant across the immigration office and hallway, or just across to the little office where they have the 2 women manning a desk by the photo booth, so I went there. Naturally, they had no idea what I needed, even less because they don't speak a word of English. They directed me to window 8, to the woman who'd actually helped me get my paperwork in. I went over, explained, and she just shortly said, "It isn't here." I was like, "Uhhh, wha-!? They told me it was sent back here." "It's not here," is all she said again, a bit angrily now, before making clear I was dismissed from her line.

So now I'm frantic, because where is that FUCKING CARD so I can get a fucking SIM card and open a bank account and feel  like a human being?! I went right back over to the first woman, and now she definitely pointed me out of the office and into the hallway. I was both relieved and feeling idiotic because had I just looked while heading over to the original office, I'd have seen a sign in English that said, "ARC Card Pick-up." But then, it's always stressful going there, still wasn't sure if the line would be respected on our way there, and then the lack of the ticket printing machine really threw us all for a loop. I took a number, which was the next up, and can now, FINALLY, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY say I'm an official legal alien in fucking South Korea. Oo da lolly.

Less moving forward, more standing still

I can't remember, and can't be bothered to check, if I had written yet about the residency card, or ARC (alien resident card). Anyone who is in Korea to live/work must get this card. Without it, you cannot get a SIM card, health insurance... your life is at an utter standstill, and I was still was still waiting on mine.

My first day at work I was told that I needed to go in for step 1 for the ARC, the health check. This is to make sure that us foreigners don't infect and otherwise sully the pure Korean population. I knew that a blood test for communicable diseases would be required. Sara-teacher sweetly offered to go with me to the clinic to get it, particularly as I hadn't used the buses or trains yet, and the directions for this clinic were apparently way wrong. And we couldn't find the name of the clinic anywhere online. In any event, as I've mentioned before, the foreign teachers are expected to help each other with all of this, accompany the new teachers, and take care of ourselves/each other. And because I work at a crappy hagwon, everything must be done before or after 9:30 AM/after 7 or 8 PM, rather than giving you some flexibility/leeway in your schedule to accomplish anything.

Luckily the bus stop across the street goes right to said clinic. Thanks to Sara-teacher bringing her own test and the SLIGHTEST smattering of Korean, she communicated to reception that I needed mine. Thank God Sara was there too, because the few times when they supposedly called my name, I heard nothing remotely that sounded like Jennifer. (I've been told by every other teacher here that at least one Korean accompanies the American teachers because of the language barrier. But ours apparently isn't like most, read: not bad, schools).

First I was surprised to find that I was going to have my chest x-rayed. After that, we went upstairs where they measured my height, weight, oddly my chest measurements, and took my blood pressure. After that I peed in a cup, and finally they drew my blood. The results are available pretty immediately, though you have to go back to get them. It is critically important that you get TWO copies of the test results, one of which MUST be in a sealed envelope-- that one I was to give to June-teacher, the school's owner. The other one I would bring with me to the immigration office for the ARC.

Going to immigration is usually where at least one other teacher accompanies you again, as it's about an hour on public transport, and according to Tausha it's also in Korean, so you need someone who speaks it with you. And when you work at our school, you also need to get there before the office opens so you can get an early number, as again, you have to get this done and still get to work by 9:30, even though the first class isn't 'til 10:30.. Oh, and while the doors open between 8:00 and 8:30, they don't actually start work til 9 AM. If I was going to come after 9:45, I was to call the assistant principal... only of course I can't because I dont't have a SIM card. If there's no wifi, I am incommunicado.

As I may or not have mentioned before, Sara requires a phone call to make sure she's up (though she has lost her 2nd phone in 6 months, has lost her keys 2-3 times, and her ARC card once). I called, and she said she'd be to my place in 15 minutes. BUT she didn't actually show up til 7:45, about 45 minutes late. Naturally, by the time we got there, the doors had already opened and people had tickets. I had 26, which very much meant I was not getting in to see any wizards that day. I can't tell you how unhappy it made me to know that I'd gotten up extra early to go and just have to turn around and leave.

So the next morning I left a bit later than I wanted, at 6:45. There were around 7-8 people already there, but thank God none of the Asian line shoving, so once we were allowed in from the cold, we went single file in the order we'd arrived. More good fortune that the immigration girl helping me spoke English. I had a few heart-stopping moments, like when she extracted the now-unsealed health check, asking me if I'd opened it and telling me it was supposed to be sealed. (One of the many nails in the coffin of Kiara being a fooking idiot, as she'd told me that one didn't need to be.) I feverishly and despairingly imagined having to go back to the clinic AGAIN before 9 to try and communicate I needed ANOTHER sealed copy, and then coming back to immigration before 8 AGAIN. But thank GOD she had mercy on my plight and soul and accepted it. The other freak-out moment was when she told me my passport pics were too big for the application. Again, all I could think was I'd have to go to E-Mart or someplace for pics, and return again. Luckily they have a photo booth that takes the right sized picture there.

Once that was done, she told me to go pay the 30,000 won at the ATM on the other side of the office and come back with the receipt. Naturally, I'm confused because I have cash, so I don't need the ATM. Eventually she somehow gets across that that's where I deposit the payment. I wait in line, frantic about it being about 9:18 and that I am still not quite sure about paying an ATM, even though I used to follow my managers from the Yum-Yum Tree to the ATM to deposit the day's cash. As everything's in Korean, I'm further unable to figure out how this all works. Thankfully a bank woman came and helped. I took it all back, and was on my way to school, knowing that I'd finally done the hard work on the ARC and only had to wait 2-3 weeks for it.

"Well at least you've been almost as bad about updating as I have about checking for updates."

-Mark

Well Mark was right, I’ve been terrible about updating this. This is because there isn’t really an opportunity to at work, and I’m there all damned day, and when I get home I just want to sit and not think and sometimes drink.

So Mark also asked,  "Settled into the job a bit better or still about the same?" And the short answer is I’m readjusting to hating my job? No, not really. Every Sunday, try though I might, I start feeling extremely stressed out and anxious. Monday mornings on my way to work it gets worse. I get through Elmo classes, it’s not as bad as the crippling anxiety of course, but I can’t even feel relief because I go straight into elementary classes, with just a slight break for lunch. Despite it all, the anxiety and stress doesn’t really go away until Thursday night.

 Eric is still a major issue, whereas Ian isn’t because thank God, he’s out of school for February. Maybe as part of the Lunar New Year holiday which was today, Monday, but we are blessed with Tuesday and Wednesday off as well. So I’m still stuck with the worst problem student, but it’s a bit less hectic because Ian isn’t occasionally throwing his own pint-sized monkey wrenches and whining into the mix. The other 2 kids, Allen & Jayden? Those 2 are fucking angels.

Part of this is undoubtedly because I absolutely and positively started bribing the little demi-monsters with lollipops. For the first week, it was for everyone who did their work and behaved. Now I’m starting to tell them that either everyone gets them because everyone in class did what they were supposed to, OR no one does because not everyone was behaving/working/what have you. I know that singling out kids (Eric) who are chronically misbehaving isn’t what you should do, but when it gives me a minute of some semblance of order, I couldn’t care less. Also? Glorified babysitters don’t have a responsibility to care that much. And as I’ve said, my job title notwithstanding, that is my actual job.

Adjustments all around too, because last week Jayden and Allen were excited to show me their new pencils, or something, and when Allen & Eric got into a fight and Eric supposedly head-butted Allen in the face (not enough to cause screaming, crying, bruising, marks or bleeding), Allen came to get me to fix the situation. So if nothing else, I’m seen as the disciplinarian! Which fits, since someone who’s been teaching in Korea for almost 10 years told me that Korean kids in general encounter very little of that. Particularly boys.

Outside of the kids, work isn’t my favorite place to be because I have no friends at work. Kiara and Sara answer any questions I have, but they converse together and ignore me the rest of the time. I’d prefer to have a friendlier work environment, but, well, there isn’t one! Lol. The Korean teachers are fine. What’s funny is, Kiara went through exactly this, none of the foreign teachers liking her before. Now she’s acting that out with me. But neither Kiara nor Sara offer the kind of company I’d miss anyway. For example, Kiara, “I-came-to-Korea-to-see-God-in-a-different-way,” enjoys philosophizing, and I get to witness it without having to worry about being dragged into the devastating wasteland of her lagging intellect through participation. Like when she wanted to ask Sara, who’s Muslim, if she feels weird about everyone at the school talking about Jesus loving them since she’s not Christian. If everyone around her were talking about some Muslim saint loving her, she’d feel that of course that saint and God doesn’t love her or care about her because she believes in Jesus. So she’d feel bad.

How bad does it feel to know that Kiara thinks Jesus doesn’t love you because you use the Arabic word for dad instead of Hebrew or English?

Beyond all of that, I’m at work a fuck of a lot. Aside from meaning I don’t have the time for keeping you knuckleheads updated in a timely, reasonable fashion, I also have less inclination to spend the 3-4 hours before bedtime working out. Suffice it to say that is a whole other issue. I’ve started doing shorter HIIT workouts. No more than around 10-15 minutes, though there’s usually a 10 minute cool down as well. I am currently getting those workouts in about 3 times a week, sometimes 4. There’s a gym with weight equipment kind of around the corner from me called the Personal Trainer Gym. I’d look to go there to join once I ACTUALLY have money again, but then wonder about how I’ll get myself to go there given my lack of desire to spend the precious minutes I’m not at work working out. 

Sometimes it's unhelpful when you know yourself well

I say this because I am teaching kindergarten, which I didn’t want to do, at all, but you kind of have to, especially to secure your first job teaching in South Korea.  And you’re in a country with a hard-on for youth and inexperience. Despite my initial reservations due to not being the Barney or high-energy-type who has the desire or patience to sing and dance like a clown for little tornadoes of energy, I figured it’s still going to be good experience, and I was keeping an open mind that I might actually enjoy it.

But my very first class helped prove that my self-awareness was too accurate for that to happen.

First, part of teaching in South Korea is that things tend to be thrown at you very last-minute, hence after a 30 minute tour of the school, I was given my schedule and herded over to teach my first class. Naturally there was no observation time, just me and 4, 6-year old boys (the Elmo class). Another thing it’s important for you to know is that a Korean child’s life kind of sucks. Starting from around age 4 or so, they are usually in school from 8 AM to about 8 or 9 PM Monday through Friday, though frequently Saturday as well. There is a truly ridiculous but rampant belief throughout Asia that simply forcing a child to sit in a classroom will imbue them with knowledge. Stick a teacher in there, and they should learn much more, faster. Memorizing is the really the name of the game here, which they think is learning, and playing is fun, learning isn’t, so playtime, play learning, recess, anything that children naturally want to do and should be doing, these kids have very little, if any, chance to do. Daily when we’re greeting the students when I ask a 5 or 7-year-old how they are, they say tired. What child is tired at 10 AM!?

Sadly, every child but the 4 in my class. I have them about twice a day every day for 35 minutes each class. They make me dread going to work, just those boys. There are 2 in particular who are the biggest little thorns in my side: Ian and Eric. Ian would be especially adorable were it not for the fact that between him & Eric I spend half the class telling them to stop running, sit down, get out from under the table, stop running, be quiet, read, leave his book alone…. Punishment is having them stand against the wall, which Ian refuses to do, usually resulting in me eventually helping him do so, followed by him saying, “TeacherI’msorryteacherI’msorryteacherI'msorry,” as soon as he is up. Ian is also a constant whiner. "Teacher my eraserrrrrrr, teacher my eraserrrrr!" because

1.) it's gone, or

2.) he's lost it.

Ian: we were at a field trip to a tea ceremony, so he was wearing Korean formal wear, and looking very serious because for once he seemed to appreciate he needed to be on his best behavior.

Eric mostly goes right to the back wall throughout class, then proceeds to dance and sing, leaving me to tell the remaining seated students, Jayden and Allen, to turn around and be quiet. Still, Ian at the very least can be surprisingly helpful: he always wants to erase the board for me. I’ve even seen him lend his precious, precious eraser to another student.

The one benefit to this age is that they know standing is punishment, and even worse is standing outside (unless you’re Eric and can resort to dancing in front of the glass-wall of the classroom). We teachers write biweekly progress reports to each child’s parent, which is the euphemism for lie because we are only allowed to say the children are precious little angels/geniuses/models of good behavior. There really aren’t any real repercussions to not doing their work or behaving, because bad grades and intimations that they are raising a problem child will cause the parent to pull their student and their money. 

If the students do something good, we put a smiley face next to their name. 3 smileys and they get a banana sticker which apparently once a year they can use to buy things from some market the school creates for the kids. (In elementary school it's stamps, and they always just hand me their stamp sheets. I assumed it was some sort of attendance thing until week 2 I said something and Kiara said, "Oh, yeah, I should have told you," and explained the stamps are the banana stickers for elementary kids... and about how the kids use them at this market. Because why would you tell someone that before?). Except for yesterday because 2 kids had their books out when I came in, for example, I hadn't given out any banana stickers in about 2 weeks. But I take them if the kids get 3-4 frowning faces OR I write their name 4 times because they've been speaking in Korean.

My one comfort is that the whole Elmo class, and Eric and Ian in particular, try the patience of every teacher in the school, even the assistant principal and native teacher, Anna-teacher. Every morning before class the kids are all gathered into a room and sing some songs, stretch, and generally warm-up for English. I watched as Anna-teacher had to send Eric to stand against the wall, and he continued to dance as he always does. Eventually she had him stand outside.

This is how Eric smiles for anyone at the school who's taking a picture of him, including for the month of January birthday party, where he was a guest of honor. As you can see, his charisma and charm gets him far with all the teachers.

I do have one other kindergarten class in the mornings, the Clifford class: Jessica, Lydia, and this ADORABLE, happy little boy named Prathit. I believe Clifford is 5, except for Prathit, who’s 4. Naturally because there are girls in the class, the chaos quotient is cut by 2/3.

One of the sweetest students we have, Prathit. Referencing the aforementioned charms of Eric, one of them is hating all brown people, so he will move to another table if Prathit sits by him at lunch time. Racism is rampant and unapologetic in Asia.

Oh, I should add that I have now had/made both Jessica and Lydia cry in class. Jessica because I (now) know she can’t read, and when I asked her to read and she said no, I thought she was just being difficult. Even after hugs and apologies she just wouldn’t calm down. She had to go sit for the next 30 minutes with the receptionist before she calmed down. Then on Friday Lydia start sobbing because I said we were going to read a story one more time because there are a lot of new words. She didn’t want us to, I said we were going to, and off she went. “Christ, not again,” I thought. I asked her if it was because I wanted us to read again. *shakes head;* is it because she wanted to read? *shakes head;* is she afraid I’m mad at her? *shakes head;* Finally, out of options I said, “Do you want a hug?” She nodded and cried herself out for a good 3 more minutes before she was ok and things went back to normal.

Lydia

Jessica

Of course, kids cry and pitch fits. And I worried a little that I was too stern with them, until I learned how overly dramatic Korean students are. Yesterday we had an all-school practice for graduation which is at the end of February. Kiara was lining the kids up, tallying who was gone: “John’s absent… Krystal’s still crying….” Krystal, 7 years old, was gone for a good 20 minutes crying. Kiara and Sara both mentioned how dramatic the students here are, so, it isn’t just me. In any event, during the rehearsal Lydia was pretending she was a cat, knelt next to me, and hugged my leg and leaned her head against me for much of rehearsal. So I guess all is forgiven.

In the afternoons the elementary school kids come in. One class I was told are brilliant, but when asking them to do their in-class activity that consisted of underlining the present and past tense verbs, the class acted confused and underlined “and” and “or” in addition to/instead of the verbs. I was alarmed at how confused they seemed, how slowly we then progressed and then fell behind. When I talked to June the owner, I was assured the kids definitely knew what verbs were and are very smart. Initially she thought maybe they couldn’t understand me, and were trying to take advantage of my being new by acting confused. It wasn’t until it kept happening and I talked to Kiara-teacher that I was told, first by her then also by June, that Leslie used to just write the answers for their in-class activities on the board. Not only that, but I definitely have to do that so they catch up, because they can’t fall behind.

So then I realized they’re not really learning and I’m not necessarily improving at teaching, so there’s no it’s-so-rewarding-working-with-kids, young and eager to learn. I decided it was time to accept that all anyone wanted from me was to give me money to be a glorified babysitter, so that’s just what I am going to do. I’m done worrying about researching games that won’t require anything that the boys can use as a weapon (read: anything) and engage them enough to trick them into learning and stem the mayhem. I’m focusing on remaining calm inside and taking no moment of my day seriously.

To add to the joy of all THIS, I get the other thing I despise about new jobs: not knowing how things are done and not knowing how or what to do. I absolutely hate the new-job learning curve. Meaning right now Jen is not experiencing much joy during the day. There are 2 other native teachers: Kiara-teacher, and Sara-teacher. Oh, and before I go any further, whenever Kiara spoke of other teachers, it was always their name-teacher. Even outside of school. So I’m doing it too because it’s what you do and how you refer to other teachers and introduce yourself to students. It’s considered respectful.

Anyway, Kiara-teacher is somewhat helpful but not super-warm/into socializing. This may be because in her youthful enthusiasm she was bombarding me pre-trip with the very basics of going-to-another-country. Shit that anyone who’s ever gone anywhere knows. Like, “You should get some Korean money before you come. They use the won. But they do take credit cards too!” And I was receiving these emails while still getting plenty of emails about last-minute preparing-to-leave stuff. I finally said I appreciated her help but I was a seasoned traveler and knew all of what she was telling me, and to essentially lay-off. So it occurred to me today that, being young and self-centered, she likely took that personally, whereas I only meant, stop telling me that I should bring prescriptions with me when I’ve been traveling longer than you’ve been alive, but DO give me details about the school, or helpful hints for dealing with the students. The other teacher, Sara-teacher, seems really nice, but likewise has her own life outside of school and not much more inclination to invite me anywhere. I’ve seen no other Westerns anywhere here, and while I have started studying Korean, I’m still only 1/2 way through the alphabet and know… only how to say, “hello,” “thank you,” “quiet,” and “sit down.” Heh heh. So befriending Koreans isn’t really going to happen quite yet.

So! I still have the whole this-past-weekend to write about, but quite honestly today was busy: after reading the news, I tested my new no-internet-GPS map directions to find a train station that is closer than the one near work; grocery shopping; put away laundry; cooked lunch & dinner for today and then dinner for Monday & Wednesday, my 2 late days. And some limes (LIMES!!!!!!!), so the expensive bottle of Bombay in my freezer is looming larger and larger than your boundless curiosity about Jen in Korea. So until… next weekend? Adieu/anyeong ga-something-o, which I THINK is goodbye in Korean.

In case you wanted to see the rest of Elmo, this
is Allen. He is the most studious of them
all, and will complete all assignments
asked. He has a speech impediment
which we're not sure if his parents do or
don't acknowledge (because
another benefit to being a Korean
child is if you need classes or have
a learning disability, the parents
will deeply deny it rather than get their
kids whatever help they might need.

Jayden. Interestingly, this is how he looks
all day, every day.

To managing the sizes of my bites

A truly new concept for me, I realize. Lol.

Today being the first day I’ve had to explore my new home since arriving just under a week ago, I had wanted to try to take a bus to find a hospital where I have to get a physical of sorts for my Korean ID card and so get to see a bit more of the city, but ultimately decided that baby steps were more in order, and more my speed, today.

My arrival made me feel alternately like a baton being thrown in the air or passed between runners, and like a toy being held tightly by an adoring child. After my post on facebook about flying through customs, I made my way to the information desk by exit 10 at the airport to put in a call to this Eunice as instructed by my recruiter. There was no answer. I had Kevin the recruiter’s number too, which he’d given me in case Eunice didn’t answer so we called that. What Kevin hadn’t instructed me on was if he didn’t answer, either. I had instructions from the teacher I’d been speaking with (Kiara) on getting out of the airport, and was emailing Kevin to say I was going to find my own way, when some guy said, “Jennifer?” and then proceeded to help me over to where the buses were. He didn’t say much, just got me my ticket, helped me get my bags on the bus, and told me which stop to get off at. Couldn’t help but wonder what the hell would happen upon getting there.

In addition to HOW I’d know which stop—he’d said something that sounded like “you-jong,” so I just hoped that it’d be clear enough to me when we were at the stop that that was the one I needed. Since my mystery airport benefactor had also spoken a little to the driver, I was also hopeful that he’d mentioned making sure I got off at the right stop.

Fortunately, I did hear that stop, and the driver looked at me and kind of/almost nodded as a sort of afterthought. I got my heavy backpack, suitcase (so much better than 2 I have to drag around behind me), and stationed myself at the stop, wondering what was going to happen next.

Interestingly, before I left and Kevin told me that Eunice was going to help me with heading away from the airport, Kiara the teacher told me she’d been told that June the school’s owner was going to pick me up. So, I mean hell, with 2 people working to get me wherever, I’d have to get there eventually!

I waited about 10 minutes, figuring I’d give the nearby fairy godmothers time to find me, when June pulled up to take me to my apartment. In a nod to, many things, including: convenience and familiarity, my front door’s locking mechanism is a key code:

June only knew how to turn on the heat, the bottom right button of 4. Hot water is only available when the heat is on. And I’ve discovered that the Koreans know how to heat a place: heated floors. Which, again is familiar since Kris & Bill have the bottom floor in the townhouse heated, but in a smaller enclosed space, it works like gangbusters. I officially love heated floors.

Though I didn’t so much love that, well, it looked like the previous teacher, Leslie, was still getting ready to leave. There were bags and some money strewn over chairs and the floor, a pair of tennis shoes and boots laying in the middle of the floor, loads of curlers, curling irons, lotions and perfumes on top of a dresser. June said Leslie had promised she’d clean before she left; I asked if she was sure Leslie was gone! Apparently she was, and in the I’m-leaving-this-country packing frenzy, simply left stuff where it lay.

I realized today that I hadn’t really posted any pictures of my apartment in Chile (I had 2, but the second was just a room in someone else’s apartment). But the apartment in Chile was pretty standard, whereas I have an Asian studio apartment.

It isn’t large as you perhaps can see, and the stovetop is not ideal (nor is the lack of microwave), 

but it does have a washer (yay!) and the standard Asian bathroom, which I don’t love:

 

Please excuse my unavoidable reflection as I augment your cultural awareness

because the entire room gets wet when you shower. This is a standard Asian shower (or it has been for me in all 3 countries here I've been to). However, this should reduce most bathroom cleaning!

So, after that I went for a walk to start getting an idea of my surroundings. My building is on top of a hill, and there are small streets behind and parallel to my own place with shops, particularly, curiously, a lot of car repair shops.

I found a restaurant that was open (it being Sunday, lots of places were closed), and relief of reliefs, a waitress who spoke some English. She would translate some of the menu, but when for example I heard, “chicken stew” and asked for that, she said they didn’t have any. O….k…. We finally settled on bibimbap, a safe, familiar entrée.

I was supposed to go meet Kiara at the nearby emart (like Target), but hadn’t been able to remember where I’d seen it, so decided to ask the people at the restaurant. Luckily they were able to point me in the direction I needed to go, since my phone (which still has my useless US sim card because you can only rent a prepaid sim card for about 5 days before you have to return it to the exact location you got it, which in my case would have been the airport) was unable to find an emart any closer than a good 1.5 hours away in Seoul.

Kiara had told me to bring the papers Leslie had left me. Interestingly, the ONLY thing Leslie didn’t leave me were papers pertaining to the school.

Kiara’s apartment is just down the same long slope I’m on, across from the emart, so my instructions are to meet her in front of her place tomorrow morning so we can walk to work together. Because oh yes! I start work the next day.