Shit is never easy

It didn't take long before I became deeply depressed & demoralized by my first, & I'd say most significant, roadblock: money. & that issue itself isn't the cost of school-- graduate courses in most German universities only go up to around 2000 euros/semester. No, the main issue is living. & in order to get the student visa, I'd need to show that I have enough money in my bank account to live on, so I won't end up on their welfare system. Laughably, the requirement is only about 8,600 euros for a year. Laughable for not only how SOOOO low that number is for living for a year in Western Europe, but also because there's just no way I could conceive of getting that money together.

I despaired & drank that night, though Kiki's admonishing me for giving up so easily on my first roadblock to NZ was in my mind. Of course, Germany doesn't care if that money comes strictly from scrimping and saving, loans, or a combination. I have already heard from the one org that provides scholarships to foreign students for studying in Europe, & I'm ineligible for a scholarship because it has been more than 6 years since my undergrad degree. But I can still apply for loans.

So, not thrilled about that, but ok. Then I was reminded that I'm not quite as far from my goals as whatever I can squirrel away while working-- when I leave Korea, I collect my pension. One girl who's leaving said after 3 years she'll have about 6 million won, or without doing the actual exchange rate, $6000. I'll only have 2 years, unless I stay for ONE MORE year, which I just can't fathom or accept, particularly given how fucking hard it is for me to eat here, & the pollution & all the other big and small things that I hate about being here. Because in case I haven't said it here or it has been a while, I'm only happy when I'm at work. YEP, you read that right! I'm relaxed & happy at work, it's when I leave that I'm aggravated AF.

Sooo, I'm deciding whether I should do the extra year or not. Technically, my loan repayment is for 2.5 years, & given how tight my budget always is, I haven't been able to put more toward it to shorten the amount of time. & then I'd still have another few months to use the money I was using for the credit card debt aside for this instead (though there are still those PESKY, awful student loans).

Assuming I could get the amount up to $10,000 or so with pension, severance, etc., I'd plan on taking out another $10,000 if I could to be safe because, SERIOUSLY German immigration. Because I still don't know how I'd get the part time job I'm allowed on the visa when I don't speak any German, & even if I start studying now, won't get to where I can work there.

Sooo, I don't know, it seems I'll have to stay an extra year, even though the idea makes me wretched. I just want to get the fuck out of Asia. Period. But, other than the Middle East which is even less of an option, this is it for making enough money. The only other way is taking out a bigger loan, IF I'm even able to do so.