What is my problem?

My first thought is that my problem is this yoga instructor on youtube, because every time (EVERY. TIME.) she says it's a "challenging practice," I will be angrily calling her a cunt in the middle of it. So, yes, she's my problem, but of course I'm fully aware my real problem is ME. Because I keep doing her videos.

I'm really trying to focus on improving my balance & flexibility, because it'll help me get stronger & especially help me when I'm older. My family on both sides are clear lessons on what I'd like to avoid.

Basically, Mon-Thurs I dread coming home to do the shit I have to do, but I do it, & as you haven't seen since I'm writing into a vacuum since no one reads this, on arm days in particular I get excited because despite the exhausting tabata or core workout, I can still do & am leaning new arm balances.

Fridays I was intending to be my easier day, just a day of stretching & relaxing yoga. But then I get home & I think, yes, sure, need some stretching, but let's just do something with a LITTLE balancing all the way around.

There's a lot more leg balancing than arm balancing in today's video, & on the one hand that's good because I really fucking need to improve there, but on the other hand, I can't fucking balance on 1 leg very well, & we're on 1 leg for a fucking long time. To my continuing anger, Cassandra the yoga girl has us do 3 warrior 3s (which is not easy since my ankles & legs just don't like balancing for long, & I worked my legs yesterday), & worse, standing splits twice.

To add insult to my inability to withstand her 1 legged marathons, she has us go into blighted pigeon pose for what she SAYS will be 10 breaths, but that fucking bitch can't fucking count because when she still hadn't ended it after 10 breaths, I couldn't even keep track of how long we held it since I just was then focusing on not screaming at my computer.

Weirdly, I still can't really hold crow for very long though my legs are starting to get higher on my legs & I can lift my feet a bit more once I'm up, but weirder still is that the big balancing pose is supported headstand. I couldn't get my legs straight up, but I did get them both off the ground, & held them at my stomach for a good 5 breaths. When I tried extending one up & came out of it, but I was able to get right back up into my knees at my stomach for another 5 breaths.

So, this, instead of straight legs

Funny: I want to say balancing on my arms is easier, but we only do the 2 poses, whereas we hold these torturous 1 leg balances for at least a few minutes each leg.  So the time & frequency aren't comparable, but it still irks the hell out of me.