OHHHHHHH, I GET IT NOW!

So got into an interesting discussion today. A friend is on vacation, having a fling, & wrote, "I want for nothing. Unless I catch feels & then that's the one time someone doesn't want me back." The girl who wrote this is of course a Millennial, because that's who uses that ridiculous phrase. It also the guiding philosophy of the 20-somethings age group, rather than something only men under the age of 80 practice. I replied that while their generation gives me hope because of their belief in universal healthcare & love of travel, I know humanity is still doomed because it's such an emotionally stunted way to live. I said I guessed it came from helicopter parenting, but whatever the cause of this problem is, at least they somehow developed empathy.

(What? Yes, of course this is how I talk to my friends. Why ever would you wonder?)

Another girl told me that was condescending (while my above summary certainly is, what I actually wrote was far less so). Interestingly, I learned how the helicopter parenting did bring this about, at least when you're looking solely for whose fault it is: after whining about why they shouldn't be blamed, it's the Gen Xers' fault they're this way, she wrote: Gen Xers raised us by being overbearing and constantly critiquing us aka "helicopter parenting". Gee I wonder why we don't want to form relationships?

Gen Xers raised us saying we can handle responsibilities and giving us no autonomy and then wondering why, when we get a taste of freedom, autonomy, and independence, we don't want to inhibit that with a relationship. Growing taught us people/parents inhibit our independence

Saying we can't handle-*

Why are we getting blamed? Gen Xers raised us and taught us to be like this

& THAT'S when I got more of what my problem has been-- I've been wanting to date the 20-somethings because of aesthetics, but despite knowing how emotionally stunted they were, I was STILL hoping to have a relationship with them too. Even if it wasn't as deeply connected as I wanted, I still wanted SOMETHING. But this particular age group in general wants no relationships of any kind at all! How phenomenally clear & depressing! All this time when I was living by that whole, "age doesn't matter" thing, but in this case it really DOES!

It also helped explain the mistake I was making in the past, when I'd still be looking at American guys. Helicopter parenting & the generational stuff we always hear/read about is a distinctly American phenomenon. Stereotypes across generations in the rest of the world are different from those in America. So when I swore off American men earlier this year for good, this particular interchange bolstered the wisdom of my decision.

So look at that, way to poison my dating pool, peers!

Funny enough though, I was really struck by how important it was to this woman to place blame. In one of my yoga DVDs they say something that I found incredibly difficult, important, & true: "The traumas & troubles in our pasts may not be our fault, but they become our responsibility." Hopefully as they gain experience, the Millennials will gain that wisdom too.