Ok, I am REALLY struggling with this

As you may, well, should recall, behaving badly is a new behavior I’m being forced to learn here in Korea. To many of you (I could start naming names, but by God I sure as hell hope you know who you are), breaking the rules of “the man” is something you’ve literally been doing for as long as you can remember. And, the thing is, I’m not a strictly by-the-book type of person. If you know my dad, you know that there are certain rules, stupid rules, outdated rules, inefficiencies, etc., which he thinks it’s stupid to follow, and will try to circumvent. SOME of my dad’s views on such rules I inherited. So if there’s a shortcut that you’re not technically supposed to do or a slight way around something, I’m going to try and do it.

But doing bigger stuff, stuff-that-will-get-you-fired stuff, or result in (dum dum dummmm!) having to have a discussion with my boss, for example? That’s the kind of stuff I JUST DON’T DO.

Of course, most people aren’t in a position to want or need to get fired. But it turns out that teaching English as a foreign language in a foreign land, will definitely present one with instances where getting fired is the goal. Such is where I find myself these days.

As usual, I spend my off time dreading work, trying to figure out how to get out, and the only solution I could really see thus far was just up & leaving this country for another. Interestingly, I have applied to 3-4 jobs, 2 or so of which I was an awesome, ideal candidate, and wrote some pretty kick-ass cover letters. In 4 days, I’ve only had 1 response, which is strange and perplexing. And was concerning, since I more or less need something lined up when I go.

Then, as usual, I talked to my friends, several-year-vets of teaching in Korea all, and we went over the latest. Despite the fact that Kiara and I believe I actually CAN’T be fired because they have no replacement, all the vets said I still have to TRY to get fired.

And the first way to do this is by not coming to school one day without calling. I was asked if there were any illegal things going on here, and I knew of at least one thing. Further discussion of my dreadful day-to-day resulted in my discovering even MORE. So, indeed, I do know of some. So, the way it’s done is, I don’t come to school and don’t call, which is, of course, a big no-no (as it really is everywhere). But instead of staying home, I go up to Seoul Center, and bring as much evidence with me of the ways my school is breaking the law as I can. They will tell me what is to be done next, but ultimately, they can force my school to let me go (or that’s my understanding).  And onwards I can go.

So, going up to Seoul Center, getting this ball rolling, THAT I can do. It’s the not-coming-to-school-without-calling thing that I am just killing myself over. The one teacher, Cati, all through dinner afterward, was laughing at me, because every so often she’d look over at me & correctly predict that I was worried as hell about doing this. She kept telling me there’s nothing the owner can do to me, and I can do this. If I’m worried about her coming to my apartment, I can pretend I’m not home or just go to her place in Seoul so I’m not there. The next day, when they’re upset, I just shrug & say I was sick. (Important note: we get sick days, but you must bring a note from the hospital stating you were sick. This is no more difficult than getting to the hospital and explaining what you need. It’s common practice here, and you can go and request a note after you called in sick, and have them date the letter for the day you were sick. Even though you never went to the hospital to see a doctor about said sickness.) To add insult to injury, I would go to no such trouble. Just shrug, “I was sick, bitch, what?” and go on with my day.

And yes, I am struggling with dealing with the blowback, even though I know that the worst she can do is EXACTLY what I want. If I get fired, they have to give me 30 days’ notice. So if I fuck up enough this and next week, my firing would still get me out of here before my 3 months’ notice. Also note that then, I don’t have to worry about the letter of release being held over my head. Of course, the thing is, it is still entirely up to the school to give you that letter even then. But apparently taking my stuff to the English teachers’ board which is more or less what Seoul Center is, means they can force her to give me that letter and release me because of illegal stuff. None of it is BIG stuff, but it’s still laws, labor laws, which are being broken.

What I am REALLY struggling with is not wanting to create extra stress for the other teachers. If I’m not here for my classes, there MIGHT be a scramble to figure out what to do with my classes. (Though, then again, Heidi-teacher might be able to fill-in, because she leaves when I come in, sits at the desk and works on paperwork, then comes back in when I’m done.) In any event, it’s not about wreaking havoc on Hetty which is my problem; it’s doing so for everyone else here that is my problem.

Next week is a short week: we only have 3 days of school, though on the last day, Wednesday, we won’t have afternoon classes because the kids get to redeem the stamps we give to them for doing class work and stuff. I was instructed to absolutely not come in on Monday of this week, but I had to print up my contracts (the old one from June, and get a copy of the current one from Hetty), so it was fine and understandable that I come in on Monday. I got what I needed to print-up today, so technically I could do it tomorrow. But the other issue with tomorrow is I have the late class, and I definitely don’t want to make another teacher take over my late class.

Going to Hetty with the illegalities before going to the board was an initial suggestion, though that was quickly tossed aside for the skipping-school plan. I’m still freaking out over it, exactly for the reasons I’ve told you. And, just to add fuel to the fire, I’ve explained, at least, the suggested route to both Kiara & Nathalie, the new teacher. Kiara is the one who may tell Hetty. Not that that really will help her, because the facts are still the facts, and those facts are on my side. My preference is to talk to Hetty YET. AGAIN. And ensure that we’re on the same page re my leaving, in that, I AM leaving by June 17, regardless of their replacement situation. And that I DO expect a letter of release. The solution my sister & I both thought of independently (before this went nuclear teaching-English-in-Korea-veteran-style) was to suggest future-dating the letter of release, and having someone we both trust hold on to it until that time. (Though I’m not sure who that could be, other than Kiara—I think we both trust her.) If she is not ok with that, then I’ll feel my concerns/thoughts that my letter of release will not be forthcoming are valid, and have the (to me) nuclear plan B.

Naturally, your thoughts and/or wishes for a nighttime fire that injures no one are welcome, lol.