I've been trying for 1.5 hours to get the wifi to work here. It couldn't authenticate. This happens all the time in Chile, and sometimes you have to ask for another password. And then that one'll work, usually. Or, *shrug*, it just doesn't work today. You know, Chile? When you have a wifi password, if the letters are lowercase, maybe DON'T use 3 capital letters when you write it out for people? Maybe? But then, as Rita and I joke all the time, I'm applying logic, and that just doesn't work here. Ever:
1.) You're a table of 6, and the server keeps forgetting and confusing what everyone ordered. You think, can't you write it down? If you're a Chilean server, well, for whatever reason, no, you can't. So they'll put the wrong dish in front of people, and will completely forget someone else's altogether. If only someone would invent some form of communication that doesn't fade into thin air, like the spoken word!
2.) Line 1 goes to Los Dominicos, which is 2 stops from Manquehue. But no train can go straight through Manquehue-- most of the time, all the passengers have to get off there. Then another train appears a minute later, and you can take that 1 to Los Dominicos. But why do you have to get off every time 2 stops from the end?
3.) You need to cross the street. There's a crosswalk for a 1- or 2-lane turn lane, then a second one to cross the main street. The walk signals are always out of synch, so that the tiny island between them is crammed with people waiting to cross the last leg. Why not just synch them?
4.) You're at a major bus station, where buses arrive from and depart to popular get-away spots, like Valparaiso and Vina del Mar. This station is at the almost-end of metro Line 1, next to a big expressway. Most of the time, there are people sitting around, waiting for their bus to board and depart. There are no stores or restaurants nearby (though there are some of the ubiquitous sidewalk markets set up). Why the HELL NOT!? If there was a Starbucks there, they could charge more than anywhere else in the city, and people would gladly pay! I know-- that's what I was thinking while waiting 2 hours for my 14:20 bus to leave. There's a hell of a lot of money to be made, so no one is there making it.
I have had several blog posts floating in my mind; it's taking the time to write it all up that's the problem. Particularly when I feel like some people deserve their own private summaries, which I only feel ready to do in a rare moment of not feeling irritated all the time by Chile. And given the rarity of not being irritated when I think about Chile and then constantly reduplicating my efforts, in the end I'd rather just sit and stew alone, or rehash the experiences with friends here going through the same things.
And it was all of the things that never stopped being irritating about Chile that have been the issue in more ways than one. I really thought that when some things here never stopped irritating me, it meant I was still experiencing culture shock. There's this idea that living somewhere is so completely different from visiting it and diving right in, that only the former is going to give you real insight into the culture and whether or not it's for you. There's ALSO this idea, particularly among people who've never done it, that foreign language immersion is the best way to learn a language, and that you will, in fact, become fluent, whether you want to or not. My Spanish HAS improved-- thanks to studying it on my own. My comprehension has SLOWLY been improving, so that I can now understand between 15-40% of the warp-speed gibberish that people call Spanish here, depending on the person speaking, how much background noise there is, etc. There are people who can best learn a language by just being totally dunked in it, I'm sure. Just as there are people who learn better by reading, or writing, listening, or some combination. Immersion alone won't do it, though, kids. Or at least, it hasn't for me, the two other teachers I know, or... anyone else I've heard of. One of my classes was telling me that their last teacher was an older guy from NZ. Prior to coming to Chile, he'd lived in Colombia for 5 years. In all that time, he had not learned any Spanish at all. But then, learning Spanish won't always help you here. I had another student who was from Colombia. He has been living in Santiago for about 10 years. He said even now, whenever his father comes to visit, Carlos has to translate for his dad, because he cant understand a word the Chileans say.
Which is partly why hardly any Americans who live here have Chilean friends: it's pretty hard to have a conversation when half of the conversation is "What?" "I don't understand," and "Uhhhhh... oooook?" But honestly there are an endless number of reasons why expats tend to remain foreigners here, which I've heard from both other foreigners & Chileans. Chileans are shy and timid; Chileans fear that their English isn't good enough, so they won't talk to you; Chilean friends are VERY close so it's nearly impossible to break into a group-- it takes a year or so of consistent, gentle "courting" for you to meet any other friend of your quasi-Chilean-friend; Chileans are never alone, so you can't talk to one.... I could go on, but these are the ones I've heard the most. Which makes it harder to develop any personal connections to the country you've moved to. And why, no matter how nice the people here are, I feel I want to stay here indefinitely.
25 Oct 2014
Today started promisingly enough: they have free yoga this weekend. I managed to do the kundalini at 10. I actually felt pretty good after that... even like, maybe Santiago isn't that bad. *Chuckle* Until I went to put the rest of my day's plan into effect: try the really-close-to-my-apartment coffee shop owned by an Aussie. And as I came across the metal security shutters that tell you opening hours aren't at that time, I thought, of course. Of course the cafe is closed. On a weekend. Like half of Santiago. Other expats recommended this cafe, which is what I needed to hear to make me try it. You know how when you travel to another country, you want to go where the locals are, away from the tourists? That's actually the OPPOSITE of what you should do in Santiago, because Chileans never developed taste buds, as evidenced by their bland, badly prepared food. So all the best food is where the tourists are. I have only been to ONE other cafe in Santiago that didn't suck, and that was a bit of a ways away, in Lastarria. It also has the worst service of any place in Santiago. Which is saying something, because the servers here make the hordes of almost-standing-still Santiagoans look like cheetahs. There have been a few times that I have vetoed going out for dinner because I'm hungry at that point, and it'll take too effing long to get my food at a restaurant. Or coffee. Or the check. ESPECIALLY the check. So you see, there are quite a few things I've never made my peace with here, that I never learned to accept.
It wasn't until I'd written to Keri that I thought, wait. I've been living here for about 4 months and have adjusted overall rather well. I've learned to accept some things, like not having any consistent access to good wifi, and to the shoving or outright rugby matches to get into the ovens otherwise known as the metro, where you are as close to other people as crumbs in a cake. I don't get irritated or upset or outraged by it-- I just go with it. I push when I need to, or just let the Chileans do all the work for me. I have my regular places where the Chileans know me, & some even let me take some veggies today that I can pay for tomorrow. I have my routines, my friends and, until this week, only pretty awesome students. Only after Keri expressed great surprise over my stated continuing culture shock that it occurred to me that it might not be culture shock anymore. Maybe there are just things here that I don't like. Not because I'm failing to adjust, but because they're things no language or culture could make palatable. Like mullets and spitting.
So that has been whirling around my head this week while Rita & I were talking about another nonsensical Chilean thing, and after she confirmed she's leaving Chile in January. And I've been told that in January and February, most of the work is gone. So this seemed like the perfect time to go do my traveling in Peru & Argentina. And go back to the States & visit. But, then what?
I wanted to have at least a year of teaching experience before I head to another continent. Maybe I should come back here to finish out another 4 months or so in Chile? I could. But... why? I'm making very little money, and I'm surrounded by stocky, ugly people who think red skinny pants worn BAGGY in the ass, and mullets and rattails & weird long mohawks look good? To have even fewer dating prospects than in the US? And to have really bad food when I go out? I haven't even told you guys about the cute restaurant that had moules frites. Rita & I were pretty excited: does that mean it's a French recipe? I ordered. And... oh God. They brought a bowl of mussels in steaming liquid. That liquid was just water with 4 carrot slices. That was the liquid. Not wine and broth; not broth; not wine NOT SOMETHING WITH FLAVOR!!!! JESUS, NOT THAT!!!! And the fries tasted frozen, though they were piping hot.
Then I was talking to Kevin, and he summed it up what I, 1.5 pages later, clearly can't: if you boil down your necessities to money, food, & love, then "you've got 0 out of 3. It's time to leave Chile." Once he said it, I think I'd known that somewhere in the back of my mind, but hadn't wanted to say it, because I didn't want to give up easily. As I talked about other places I'd looked at, we realized that while it doesn't appear I'll ever have all 3, if I went to Turkey, or Asia, or anywhere else, I could have 2 out of 3 of my necessities.
So, does this mean that I don't like Chile? I kind of think it does. But I like the people. Despite everything, I still think Chileans are really kind across the board. Can you dislike a country but like the people? I would say I don't know, except that's the reality I'm living these days. Unless it's just that Chile isn't for me, and I'm pissed at it that I don't fit here, either. Lol. I know that 6 months tends to be when you really start fitting in somewhere. A couple Americans said that that adjustment period here is a year. But I also think it's entirely possible you don't always need more time to know. And when I've still a hell of a lot places I want to go to, why put them off for another 6 months because damn it, I said I'd be here a year!
So, I'm ready to go. I hate to tell my landlady and Roberto and all the people here I am fond of, but I have already made my decision. I've been researching the places I'm interested in going to next: Peru, South Korea, Vietnam, and Turkey. I've begun considering the logistics of my dreaded 100 lb of luggage, and how NOT to cart it all over South America, and how it makes the most sense to travel here THEN visit family & friends back home, even though I'm going back to a Chicago winter, from the middle of summer here.
And I'm also really excited. It's the first time, I think in m life, that I have no precise idea what the immediate future holds, and it isn't threatening and panic-inducing.
So the "big" news is I'm leaving Chile. And will likely be coming back to see you sometime in February! And after a few weeks home, I'll take another plane to try out a new country. I'll keep you posted as I narrow it down. But in the meantime, feel free to share your vote for my next home in the comments.
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