Waiting for the trickle to stop

In case this hasn't been made manifestly clear, the ONLY reason I am on dating apps is due to BOREDOM, not because I'm lonely or want or need someone in my life. In fact, I was focusing late last week on some remote jobs, which took up my free time quite nicely so there was no desire to scroll left on the hordes from a country who, for me, don't start plastic surgery early nor often enough.

I am currently talking to 2 military guys. Well, 3, but one is in Syria on a peacekeeping mission. I know! Did YOU know we have guys in the ground doing the ol' peacekeeping gig in Syria? He didn't write for 2 days & when he did I said how've you been, he replied, base got attacked by insurgents, so had to find a new place to build base.

You know, it SHOULD make me feel small, & my silly, insignificant issues should seem just that. It's just that... I've BEEN down this road ssooooooooo many times & know the verses & chorus too well to give a flying fuck if he thinks my bad day is cute when his is literally life or death. I can't be serious about military guys, I already know that. This particular guy, get this, LOVED Seoul & can't wait to live here. Obviously a TBI accompanied him on his tour of Seoul, because no one with a sense of aesthetics, strictly air-breathing lungs, or 3rd grade sense of logic could love Asia, never mind Seoul. He's also as good a conversationalist as a comatose person, so this has my falling for him written all over it!

Naturally the 2nd guy with whom I'm talking the most is ACTUALLY (you won't believe it. *I* can't believe it!) good at conversation, nice, SO NOT looking for a hook-up but someone to date, so YES! you guessed it, he's actually hiding fat in his photos. He's also military though, so no, he doesn't really read. Or use proper grammar. OR EVEN DRINK COCKTAILS. Noooo, this guy is more of a beer & shots kind of guy. Isn't that translated into mouth-breather? How nice. I get the pleasant task of saying no, the 15 year age gap doesn't matter to me, but the 15 point IQ difference, does.

WHY?? WHY IS EVERYONE SO DUMB? Why, when men believed for MILLENNIA, they were the superior sex, did they NOT NOTICE that good-looking and smart rarely, if ever, coexisted in the same body? 

When can I be in Europe where not stupid & handsome CAN coexist? Why is it SO FAR OFF? Why am I in the inspiration and spirit animal of Latin America? Why can't I GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT PLACE??