Let's continue to beat this dead horse, shall we?

S1.) You know how the Japanese thought the Europeans were devils because some had red hair, or that some cultures believe that if you take their photo, you'll take their soul? Apparently, in Chile, they believe that envelopes are extremely powerful, therefore they must be hidden. That, or Chile just doesn't think I drink enough. Only those pure of heart and willing to go on A FUCKING QUEST may hope to find them hidden throughout the city. (Pure of heart, but not pure of mouth, since if I'm not in class or sleeping, I am most likely swearing about something.) Envelopes are Santiago's horrocruxes, I guess. Or, because Chile seems to still so love the 80s, it's King's Quest, and you must keep talking to the locals you encounter and try to divine where one would get such a crazy, crazy thing as a plain ol' envelope. Naturally, the location of a thing so powerful isn't common knowledge, so the Santiguinos are as knowledgeable as the lost girl in King's Quest 3 or whichever it was, who just keeps wandering around the countryside looking for her cat or something.

Minimarts don't have them, though the post office said they do. You cannot buy them at grocery stores, at pharmacies, at Target-like superstores, NOR AT THE POST OFFICE. Not even if you are mailing something express. No, you have to go to a mall and find a STATIONARY STORE. The first woman I asked, at the minimart I was directed to go to by the post office, didn't know WHERE one could buy them. You know, in Las Condes, the Manhattan of Chile. I asked 7 fucking people. No, 8.  It took me 2.5 hours to mail a fucking 1 page letter to CA. That's not counting all the trips to all the stores since I arrived, confounded as to how I could be missing ALL THE FUCKING ENVELOPES. And just in case it wasn't clear before, asking about where one can find envelopes gets you lots of, "I don't knows."

2.) You know how you go to the website of a company to find its address? NOT HERE! We're talking Liberty Mutual, the big ol' insurance company. They list Chile as one of the countries where they have a location, but when you go to the location page, they only list the 2 Brazil offices for all of Latin America. I have a class at 8:15 tomorrow with a corporate guy. There are 3 locations listed... in my  nifty map app, NOT the website. Oh, and when I finally found a link to Liberty Seguros in Chile? Just their webpage. No addresses, etc. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, given how fucking insane the security is in offices here, and apparently how often people break into them.

After playing around with various arrangements and rearrangements of the words, I finally found a directory-type of page that listed only 1 of the 3 I had, so that's the one I'm going to. It will be SOOO awesome if it's not the right one! But then, it's 1/2 my fault: when they asked me to take this class 2 weeks ago, I said sure, thinking other information would be forthcoming, or that by giving me the company name, it would just be THAT EASY. I only remembered I didn't have an address when I checked the email, and didn't know I'd spend 45 minutes on this shit until I looked it up in 2GIS.

4. People, I still fucking hate the fucking pigeons.
(Wait, you skipped 3, you're saying. As did the Santiago metro system. There are 5 lines, numbers 1,2, 4, 4A, and 5. But then, in a place as chaotic as Santiago's metro, I guess it makes sense that logic will never be found.)

5. One does not simply walk ANYWHERE here. You are playing a live version of Frogger, only there are 10 people for every car in level 10 (honestly, I don't know Frogger that well), and they barely qualify as moving. So maybe it's like reverse Frogger? Sharks gotta swim, and bats gotta fly. I've gotta stand in this random spot until you cry.

6. I hate grocery stores. It's only remarkable because I could still get caught up in the excitement of, "Ooo, what's THIS? What's THIS?" at times in the US. Now, even though I remind myself before I go that I likely won't find one of the things the recipe I want to make calls for, I still get all bent out of shape. Also, I can't go into them after 5 PM, because that's when the lines start. The LOooooong lines. Plus the tomatoes are as bland in the stores as they are in the US. And green, unripened lemons are SUCH a thing here. Brazil isn't that far!!! You can IMPORT THAT SHIT! You know, like you EXPORT your grapes and wine? It's about a 50% chance any place will have limes at any given time. Especially when you need them.

Did you want chicken without additives and a solution? TOO BAD. Ground pork or BACON, GOD DAMN IT, FUCKING BACONNNNnnnnnn... No. Or, and get ready to LAUGH, fresh squeezed juice? The only way to get THAT is to buy it by the plastic cup during the morning rush from the girl on Teatinos or the top of the metro station selling them for breakfast. And only orange. So no Salty Dog cocktails for ME. And don't even get me started on the scotch.

7. Stranger danger! The city's past time is warning me that I will be robbed/mugged/whatever on a daily basis. But the Santiguino's distrust of fellow Santiguinos extends to living arrangements. My lease in my (too expensive for my pay) apartment is up at the end of February. Because I am FUCKING POOR (thanks to no more unemployment! But hey, it makes me more honest), I will stay in Santiago through about mid-April because classes will start up again so I can hopefully return to making at least as much in a month as my rent costs (hint: my January income was about 1/2 my rent). I decided it was high time I rented a room to live in, since it'll be cheaper. I have been looking on the roommate finder site here. And you know what's a deal breaker? Having guests over, never mind your pololo/a (boyfriend or girlfriend). No, you can't have your friend Tina over for drinks on Friday, because the other people don't know her, so she'll probably try to steal from them. And forget about overnight guests, should you have one! See, *I* thought that people made out on the subways because they all live with their families, and it's the only time they can be alone (aside from someone telling me about the rampant cheating that PDA is supposed to assure everyone that you're NOT cheating). But I think it's because couples can't have privacy ANYWHERE! The idea that you can pay your fair share of rent and NOT have friends over to your place is a new height of ridiculous. Just when I think you can't outdo yourself, Chile, you do!